[and_im_still_here]

Blah! I dont really know where this goes but i just need to let it down a bit... rage at it, cry at it and leave it dropped off here, maybe someone can just tell me "you are ok, here is a hug, now go out there and fight!"
3 weeks since ive last seen my T and im just wanting to not go to therapy anymore, today ill say i will go but tomorrow ill be like why? if he hasnt even called to apologise for not calling!
I dont know whats wrong and my head keeps jumping from one thing to another gosh! I get this very weird feeling to get up open the door run out yelling until i get tired.
I sleep very unconfortable and wake up with a freaking headache that can last all day.
I want to do so many things but i dont seem to get anything done and it makes me mad and sad and worried, example: i want to read my book, do homework, draw, play guitar and among other things and what have i done? NOTHING!
Aaah! Im just very tired of this i even feel that im exaggerating and im a big liar because of this.

That sounds really rough. Even a healthy person will start to feel pretty bad after a period of sleeping badly, and adding headaches to that - no wonder you're having a hard time concentrating on stuff.

I want to do so many things but i dont seem to get anything done and it makes me mad and sad and worried, example: i want to read my book, do homework, draw, play guitar and among other things and what have i done? NOTHING!

FWIW this is something I can recognise - problems focusing, concentrating even on the fun recreational stuff. One thing that might work is listening to an audiobook. And I know that many people would probably recommend going outside for a walk, walking some of the rage off, and getting tired in the bargain. I don't know if that's an option for you.

Here, have a hug. It's going to get better. I definitely don't think you're lying or exaggerating.

[and_im_still_here]

Thank you very much Apteryx my headaches are common since about months ago but bad sleeping has been recent like 3 days ago.
As for doing something id love to walk out, but its so dangerous, audiobooks to be honest i dont know what they are, im a big mess!
I try not to lie but my mind does it by itself its rude and cruel it attacks even my most lovely thoughts.
Thanks for the hug i really need a sincere one now because everyone at home thinks im crazy and foolish with this, maybe this is the cause of my thoughts of lying and exaggeranting...

audiobooks to be honest i dont know what they are, im a big mess!

A book on tape, CD or sound file, so you can listen to somebody reading it rather than read it yourself. I really love to read but sometimes I just have problems focusing, and then it can work better to listen to it instead. At least in Sweden, you can borrow audiobooks at the libraries, and there's a lot of free audiobooks to download from the Internet as well.