[ImMentallyILL]

I met with my new therapist on Friday we talked for about an hour. During that hour I almost started crying four times, I recently was let go by my old therapist and old clinic. I keep posting about this, but my old therapist didn't give me a reason why she dropped me. I kept telling him that I was hopeless and that I would never trust another doctor or person ever in my life. I left his office feeling ten times worse I wanted to break down and cry in public.

He said he wouldn't ever drop me or avoid me like my old therapist did and that I need to trust him. Everything he would say would be the same things my old therapist would tell me

These are stuff my new therapist and old therapist would say to me. Note I saw him for an hour.

-You are a very likeable person*
-Tell me I'm good looking
-Ask me about what music I like
-They both compare cancer to mental illness
-I would never leave your side
-I want to know about you and your family
-You can trust me
-Your suicidal thoughts are safe with me (big lie)
-I would never send you into a psych ward
-I understand what you're going through.
-You only need me and you will be ok.

How is possible that these two doctors are very alike, they make pretend they're into you when there really not. These people get paid to listen to your problems they don't care in my opinion. Doctors are all the same they are very good at acting. They are suppose to be non judgmental towards you that's why you people fall for their words they tell you, just imagine what your therapist really thinks about you.

Just a warning to all of you don't fall for the lies your therapist tell you, they would say anything to make you feel happy even if they don't mean it.

Don't get hurt like me and wake up. Please share your thoughts !

[Sannah]

Did you challenge him on any of this?

[ImMentallyILL]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Did you challenge him on any of this?

Yes I would tell him wow that's excatly what my old therapist said. He would be speechless . Everytime he would try to say something different I would stop him and say yup she said that too. I feel bad for giving him a hard time, but I'm not falling for the lies again. I heard it all he can't fool me I'm ending therapy tomorrow.

[Sannah]

Why not work through this with him?

[Freefall1974]

So sorry. Almost every week when I leave therapy I want to quit. I have been going for 2 years. Sometimes I have to sit in my car for half an hour before I can drive, either from being sad, misunderstood, angry,etc. But I find that if I wait it out a few days, talk to a few people I really trust, and treat myself really well I am able to go back. My hope for you is that you can find that. Hang in there.

The words might be the same, but the person saying them them is not. I am not dismissing your frustration, you had a terrible experience with your first T and I'm truly sorry about that. But not all therapists are like that. I hope you will give him a chance.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by ImMentallyILL

-You only need me and you will be ok.

I do not know the exact context around which this was said. If the therapist is literally saying that all you need is him, then I would be out of there so fast his head would spin.

That is absolutely, positively not true, borderline controlling even...

Again, however, it all depends on context.

Maybe it was just too soon to seek out a new therapist?

[bipolarmedstudent]

Originally Posted by ImMentallyILL

-You are a very likeable person*
-Tell me I'm good looking
-Ask me about what music I like
-They both compare cancer to mental illness
-I would never leave your side
-I want to know about you and your family
-You can trust me
-Your suicidal thoughts are safe with me (big lie)
-I would never send you into a psych ward
-I understand what you're going through.
-You only need me and you will be ok.

Some of these questions/comments are majorly sketchy. I wouldn't see this therapist again. Maybe ask your pdoc for a recommendation? What kind of qualifications do these therapists that you have seen have?

My pdocs and therapists have never made comments like this. It sounds like your therapists are trying to be your friend rather than be professional.

Another good way to find a reputable therapist is to go to your local med school's psychology department web page. There should be a faculty listing of clinical psychologists (Psy Ds/PHDs) there. These psychologists would probably be more academic and professional with you.

[Emptty]

Oh wow... I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with therapy.

From my own personal experience, I have come to realize that 8 out of 10 docs are completely incompetent and poorly trained. I have been to over a dozen therapists in the past few years and it was only about 9 months ago that I found a winner.

You gotta look at this as a hunt... you hunt for a match and most doctors won't be a match; style, personality just won't click

Don't give up, just try a new one because honestly most of them are no good and I'm so sorry you had the experience of losing your old T.

[KazzaX]

-You are a very likeable person*
-Tell me I'm good looking
-Ask me about what music I like
-They both compare cancer to mental illness
-I would never leave your side
-I want to know about you and your family
-You can trust me
-Your suicidal thoughts are safe with me (big lie)
-I would never send you into a psych ward
-I understand what you're going through.
-You only need me and you will be ok.

These things all sound like the textbook stuff that all therapists are supposed to say with a few exceptions.
"Your suicidal thoughts are safe with me" and "I would never send you to the psych ward" are the two obvious lies in there - its their job to send us to the psych ward if we are at risk of harming ourselves or others. If they don't do that then they are not doing their job properly since that is the law. And i have noticed that mentioning suicidal thoughts rapidly leads to the psych ward scenario.
The superficial flattery in the other points is a mechanism whereby they say these things and if we believe it then we trust them. I call them "gatekeeper phrases" - they open the door to trust. And then when we trust them, thats when the real therapy can begin (or so I have read).
"You only need me and you will be ok" strikes me as quite a bizarre thing to say. I haven't heard that one before. The first idea I get is that maybe this T is fresh out of university and still in that "I am going to save the world" mindset that they are in when they graduate. Its strange because normally T's encourage you to work with all your various treatment avenues and only then can you become well (eg. keep seeing your pdoc so the medication avenue is looked after).