through my T's eyes

wow my session was so strange today but good.at first there was no way you could have convinced me that i was going to be able to say anything.i was so unbelievably panicked about the card and stuff. she asked me if i put any thought into last weeks session and i said some and told her i really wanted to let it go. she then said noooo wayyyyy.she felt it was to important. she said i thought with every part of me that she was angry and hated me and how could i just want to let something so important go.

she talked about how i think that how i feel and the stuff that goes through my head is so horrible that i cant speak it.she said that that needs to stop that i need to see that isn't true that if i think she is angry and i say that that the world isn't going to fall apart. that it isn't as horrible as i am thinking it is. she really did seem to be honest in what she was saying

she asked me again what she had done that had made me think she was angry.i was able to say it was the chair being moved. i told her how it made me feel like i was being punished and that she wanted me away and that i couldn't think what i had done .i told her that i hadn't thought that i was disrespectful,rude,or all that intrusive.she asked if she had said no would i have believed her. UM NO.so then she said so i think she would lie.and i said no i didn't think she would lie but I'm not so sure that i wasn't disrespectful or not and she believed me .

she then said she wanted to switch chairs with me OMG NOO. but she got out of her chair and said please i just want to try something.so i got up and went and sat in her chair as she sat in mine and WOW .she asked for me to look around and look at her and the chair and the place meant etc... so i did.after a bit of coaxing i was able to peek around . and all i can say is WOW.she asked me if it looked like the chair was in the corner. i peeked and it didn't and i was actually able to just look up and look around.things looked so differentially from her chair.it was not how i pictured it in my head at all.

when i would think about it these days i had a completely different picture in my head. i saw it as my chair being far away and in the corner the room dark.and a bunch of differences.what my T sees.is different.the chair isn't in the corner at all but is in front of her and clear .it was nice i could see out the window.it was just so different and i wasn't in the corner at all. we talked about my checking out and how i missed so much of my session last week because i wasn't there because i was so mixed up in feeling like she was angry at me.and how that isn't OK. i asked if i could sit in my chair again and she said no not until i can clearly see that what i was thinking wasn't real and that i hadn't done anything wrong and that she wasn't angry at me. all i can say about seeing things through my T eyes is that i wish i could see everything through her eyes it sure look a lot different and not as i see it.

she couldn't see the clock because i was sitting in her chair and she in mine .so i got to say, although i was interested in what she had to say it was time for us to stop.LOL that was fun and i don't think she expected it but laughed and said that maybe i could sit in her chair every week because then i could be in control .lol not a bad idea.

Wow! That sounded like an awesome appt. with your T. Things can really look different when we look at them from another perspective. This is a good thing for me to think about also. Thanks for sharing.

Wow, that was great thinking on your T's part.. and I bet it was neat for you to see it from her prespective as well.

your post made me cry granite, it's so good, but I been crying off an on all day, I think i'm just worn out. your T really delivered, i'm so glad!

that's wonderful, granite!

Sounds like a wonderful session. Good for you both, but how absolutely awesome for you.

wow! that is so awesome! good work!!!!!

i know that some of you have changed chairs with your T for a session .has anyone had this kind of experience.i don't mean roll play but to be able to see things like your T sees them.it was so different . it was so helpful and so different from what i thought. i could for once see why she was saying the chair wasn't in the corner.maybe it was me who was just seeing it like that.i just wish she could do this with other things in my life. it was such a relief to see how she saw things i believed in my heart she didn't do what i thought she did. it really was an awesome gift i felt she gave me.just for a little bit to see things clearly

This is a great story. You really do have a very wise and insightful t. You yourself are inspiring in your wisdom and insight. Also, I think it's pretty funny about how you ended the session.

where is the high five button!!!! Granite you must be very proud... you did good work !

granite, I love this! what a great thing for your T to do, I can see how it really helped you.
she also sounds like she has a sense of humor and could be fun, too. some humor in your therapy could be a good thing for you.

What a great session for you, granite! I am so happy for you.
Bluemountains

granite, your T is fabulous! What a great tactic to get you to see things from a different perspective.

Many times those of us who have been abused, mistreated, or otherwise harmed by others tend to be inwardly-focused to a fault. I was teaching a course today at work related to protective interventions and as a service provider, techniques to de-escalate people who are agitated. One of the main points is that a person's perception is his/her reality. So you got to see things from T's perspective and it changed yours...in a healthy way.

I'm so happy for you!!

Wow. That sounds like an excellent session!

You sound so relieved, granite! I'm so happy for you!
It sounds like a very important session.



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I had a big smile on my face reading that. All the hard work you've done is really paying off! You did so well.

granite I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU. I barely made it through your post before I wanted to jump in here and jump up and down!!!


There aren't enough emoticons in the world that would how how excited I am for you, and how amazed at how you were able to tell her FULLY what you were feeling!!! YAY. AND that she had such a brilliant idea and didn't let you get away with changing the subject. Granite I've always liked your T--but she is now on a new, awesomer level than before. It is so wonderful seeing what hard work on the part of the client + awesome T can equal. Amazing insights like today.

YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!

I am so excited for you granite. And impressed with your T as well.

Your session sounded wonderful, granite. I am so very happy for you!!! I love the way your T handled the session and had you switch chairs. That was brilliant! I also thought how you ended the session was funny.

I hope you realize how much progress you are making. It's amazing, heartwarming, and makes me feel good inside, so I hope you feel that way too!

That's great granite!

RAINBOW! where have you been!? i've been thinking about you and hoping everything was ok

Hi Granite!

I greatly admire your T. She has imagination and knows when words alone are not enough.

Well done to both of you!

So cool Granite! Wow! I just am super happy that you went to your session and it was really productive and insightful and probably a little bit comforting as well.

I get down on myself and question my reality as well. I know that mine is distorted and so is yours. Then I just think I am bad or sometimes I get sick of being the bad one. My t says. He is not the enemy, I am not the enemy, it is that machine in my brain that is the enemy. The one that hears xyz and turns it into abc before my brain can process it. That helps me, I hope it helps you. Like I said, what you wrote about was totally cool and really exciting to hear about. Thanks!

This is a wonderful report girl! SO, tell me, do you feel a sense of calm and comfort tonight??

no, I'm afraid to. I'm very happy for you though!