[Wren_]

• Important event occured since your last session
• Something big is happening soon and you are preparing for it
• You had medical tests and should have received the results
• You've had an exam for a class you are studying and should have received the results
• Anything else where it's big news that's gone on since your last session

Does your T contact you before your session to find out how it went and what happened? Do they wait until session but ask when you arrive or soon into the session or at an appropriate place? Or, do they wait for you to bring it up if you want to tell them what happened or how it went? .. Or some other version of this?

How does T's response to your big news make you feel? what do you interpret from the way they either ask or don't ask; hurry to find out or wait to be told?

[critterlady]

Mine waits for me to bring things up in session. I interpret as him allowing me to control the content of my session.

How his response makes me feel depends on what the issue is. If it's something that worries or upsets me, he almost always is able to make me feel better about it.

[lostmyway21]

My T always tells him to email him and let him know how it goes. He always responds in a positive way and makes me feel good about telling him. Always very supportive. If I am especially nervous about something he will say something encouraging like...when I started school again for the first time he emailed he beforehand and said he believed in me. Come to think of it he's always been good at saying the right things during those times.

[Chopin99]

If there's something big going on, she'll ask me about it first thing when we sit down in session.

Shows me she pays attention. I appreciate her asking. It helps me know she cares.

[pbutton]

Usually he lets me blather out my topics first & then asks his follow-ups in the middle of the session.

[unaluna]

my T doesn't remember anything, usually, and neither do I, unless I write him an email saying I keep forgetting to tell you about this so here is an email to remind us to talk about it. then i'll remember. getting old is a b itch. he is actually pretty good now at remembering stuff i've said. but the general principle would be, he's all ears, however I want to use them! he has asked me to text him after dr (specialist) appts to let him know how things went.

[sunrise]

My T responds to what I bring up in session and relies on me to tell him things I want to discuss. I interpret this as his letting me determine where our sessions lead and trusting me to bring up what is most important for me that day (because he can't know).

This approach also relieves him of having to remember everything for every client.

When I share good news with T, he is very willing to celebrate my success. I tend to share bad stuff more than successes. The bad stuff he helps with, the good stuff he celebrates.

There have been a few times when I brought up a topic, and T said, "I thought you were never going to tell!" So clearly he was eager to know what had happened, but felt he had to keep his place and let me bring it up. They must have to use quite a bit of restraint sometimes!

[BlessedRhiannon]

My T typically asks me to text or email her and let her know the outcome of whatever the event was. She also asks me about it fairly close to the beginning of the session, if I don't bring it up myself.

ETA: I appreciate my T asking me to let her know how things went. It shows me that she cares and that she's supporting me. Plus, sometimes, after something particularly difficult, I need the connection! I also appreciate that she allows me to choose how I let her know - I'd feel strange if she contacted me. I'm always grateful when she brings up something in a session, it shows me that she's paying attention and remembers what's important to me.

[sconnie892]

My t generally asks me what I want to talk about in sessions. I think the idea is giving me control of the session. Occasionally t will ask me about bigger events we've talked about in the previous session. I appreciate when she asks. It reminds me she really is listening and does care about what's going on in my life.

[learning1]

One time my t asked about an outcome of a bit event. That one involved a problem at my job.

Most the time we don't talk about outcomes of big events. One event I had been talking about over a year had a final outcome while I was on a therapy break and we never talked about it when I went back. It would have been complicated to explain, so I just decided not to spend time trying to fill him in. It bothers me slightly that he didn't ask, but I learned to expect that from a previous t, so I don't let it hurt much. Sometimes I enjoy the fact that, if he did have any interest, he was left hanging.

[nicoleb2]

If t knows something major is happening between appointments, she usually asks me to let her know how it goes via text or phone call, and then we will talk about it at my next appointment. Sometimes I bring it up, sometimes she does

Generally I just tell him, that's not a hard-fast rule. Tuesday he called me in to find out what was going on. Half the time I don't even remember to bring things up, so I don't particularly blame him if he doesn't remember either. We kind of play it by ear I guess.

[stopdog]

I would not be pleased if the therapist contacted me out of the blue to inquire of me. She does sometimes ask at the appointment, which is not terrible.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

Does your T contact you before your session to find out how it went and what happened?

No, never.

[Wren_]

Thanks for sharing your experiences; it is really helpful especially where people have said things like that not asking is allowing you to control the session; and trusting you to bring up what is important. At some level I've picked up the idea that if someone doesn't ask it means they don't care. Realistically I know that isn't the case; and I know there are many instances where I've forgotten to ask or follow through on things people have told me although I try to; and when I don't ask it hasn't meant I'm not interested or don't care. Yet somehow that belief comes up again and again and I get hurt when I'm not asked

[mommyof2girls]

My t always waits til next session.....But she always seems so interested.....I really do like her a lot.....

[Asiablue]

Mine asks if she remembers, mostly she remembers but always forget when the important event is happening. I'd love a pre-event encouraging text or post-event how are you text, but that's not going to happen lol

[WikidPissah]

My T forgets everything, so I would have to remind him. Once I remind him he remembers it clearly though.

[Perna]

We never got into detail about current event stuff; I might mention something going on but since that was not why I was in therapy, we didn't really discuss it or attach anything to it; it was outside of therapy so discussed with friends or relatives or coworkers, whoever it was "about".

[stopdog]

Sometimes I tell the therapist not to ask or do not respond to her inquiry because I know she will respond in some over the top way that I do not want to deal with.

[Mike_J]

Mine always lets me bring things up as I want/need to. Her responses are always comforting even when she tells me that I'm overreacting or something similar.

Usually the only time she prompts me about things is when I tell her that I'm really not sure what to say, sometimes I go into a session with a set agenda of things I want to talk about, others I am clueless on what to talk about. So when either I run out of "agenda" items or don't have one, she will ask about what is going on, usually her first questions will be what emotions have you been dealing with recently, and if I have had any dreams that seem to have any significance.

My t usually asks.

I got some bad medical news, which I shared with my t when it happened. About 2 weeks later, she asked how the follow up went and I told her I didn't want to talk about it. So we didn't. That was the only time something like that ever came up. My t has an amazing memory, so I know she remembers everything but (except for the above instance) she never brings things up from prior sessions. She lets me decide what is important for that evening.