[treloarbabe]

Hi,

I had a session with T on Thursday.

During our session, I was tired, upset, low and cranky. I said to her that maybe I should stop seeing her and that she could not force me to continue to see her.

She responded by saying she felt I was hurting and that I had a lot of buired anger from the past that I was not expressing.

I have just emailed her the following:

Hello T,

Sorry to email you, but I just wanted to confirm our appointment on Thursday this coming week 26th April, at 12 noon at your home office as usual, in case I had confused you when I was upset last session! Despite whatever I may say to you in each session, please can you always reserve that appointment slot for me? If I really did want to terminate our contract, or adjust our contract at anytime in the years to come, then I would stipulate this to you formally in writing, giving a date for termination or a date for reduction of sessions in advance, so that we had a few weeks, or months to discuss it.

Please completely ignore any comments I may make verbally about me wanting to terminate our contract, as I say these things when I am upset and frightened and I do not mean them at all!

Sorry! Please can you reply to this email to let me know that you have received it and to confirm that you are expecting me on this coming Thursday at 12 noon as per usual.

Thank You! I look forward to hearing from you!

See you on Thursday!

Regards,

I never email her normally. I just wanted to clarify things with her!! Do you think she will be ok with the above?

Just out of interest, does anyone else contact their t out of session and how often?

Thanks,

Hugs,

[granite1]

i will be intrested in what she says about ignoring when you say you want to quit.if i said that in session and left without saying that i didn't mean it she would assume that i wasnt comming back unless i called her and asked if it was ok.i dont think she would go for that ignore it and save the day and time.

[CantExplain]

Contrary to what Granite says, I think a lot of Ts will always keep your next appointment open in case you decide to go.

[Chopin99]

I email once in a while if I have a quick question or want T to know something. T only answers occasionally (usually to answer a question).

[Nelliecat]

Yes my T is always there for my regular weekly session time, even if I'm not - on the one occasion I didn't turn up she rang me and said she'd be thinking about me even if i wasn't there. That's my time and she's not going anywhere.

I think your email is fine and she's probably very used to hearing people say they're quitting in response to something then retracting their decision.

I email occasionally and she will send a brief reply but she prefers to discuss things in session, face to face.

[treloarbabe]

Thanks all! Much appreciated! I feel a bit actually!

[SoupDragon]

I wanted to say how much I admire your honesty and insight in your e-mail to your T - and I am always quitting by e-mail at least monthly.

[stopdog]

I quit almost every week for the first year. Now I only cancel an appointment every three weeks or so and quit every other month. I don't think it causes the therapist that much grief.

[Mike_J]

I think most therapists would understand what is said in an emotional moment might not truly reflect a person's feelings after they have had some time to reflect on things a bit. I think your email to your therapist was right on the money, a well thought out statement of the way your mind works, and a honest self observation.

And I have no real way to contact my therapist between sessions, I have her office number I can leave a message with her receptionist but that is about all. Part of me would LOVE to be able to email her, but then I would stress about emailing her too often or not often enough, so for me it's probably for the best that I don't have any real way to contact her outside of our appointments.

Thats a great, honest email. I hope your t responds. I send emails to my t every day.

[treloarbabe]

Thank you all so much! Yes, I got a reply! Love you all! XX

Glad you got a reply! I don't have the email option with my t, I can call between sessions but haven't yet, come close a couple times but I hate talking on the phone lol. I'm glad I don't have the email option, I'm sure I would abuse it in no time. Writing is so much easier than talking....