Anxious about T: about a week to go

I put on the trigger because I don't think most people want to hear about "what ifs" and panicky thinking about their Ts.

I wish my T were coming back this week but I still have 1 week to go. I'm okay but not okay. I think anxiety is my worst problem. I have to breathe, think positively, and pray. Maybe use some CBT too. I'm wondering. Does anyone worry more about their T than their family? The "what ifs" aren't good for me. I don't worry about something happening to my family every single day. I use my common sense. Somehow, when it's my T, common sense flies out the window, especially when she's away. Can anyone relate to these kinds of feelings?

Yes i relate!! I worry more about my T too.
One week isnt long-- you can make it!

no we cant say that we do,at least not with this one. somewhere in the back of our minds we know that if-heaven forbid-something were to happen and she was no longer around we would still make it. and surviving the last rejection of our ex-counselor of 7 years was a proving ground to us. our new one told us that if we didnt do anything drastic during that time before we started seeing her then we had a huge victory. we are determined this time-to the best of our abilioty anyway,and maybe even that wont get us far lol-to not become as deeply dependent this time around. GL♥

Yes totally relate, I worry about my therapist all the time. I'm always a bit "off" on the weeks that I don't see my therapist, I don't think I'm unique in that. Having extra anxiety when you aren't seeing your therapist as you are used to is normal, and you seem to realize what is going on and dealing with it well.

Hang in there

SarahMichelle: I shouldn't complain next to you. I don't know how you manage. Thank you for the support.

Trinity: Thanks for responding. You sound strong and determined, a good way to be.

Mike: "Glad" to hear from another worrier like me. I feel unsettled with my T far away in another country but I'm coping. I actually did not think of her for about 4 hours today while I was busy doing something that kept my mind occupied.

I am sorry you are worrying about the therapist. I don't worry about the one I see or others in my life usually. If something happens to them, there is nothing I can do about it. But I do understand it would not be pleasant for you if something happened to the therapist and so of course you are concerned.

I'm sorry you in a place of worry. That's a hard place to be. Does being mindful help?

I understand them Rainbow After old T died I know anything can happen so it's very easy to panic and imagine worst case scenarios and the what ifs. The things you are doing, distraction and keeping busy; using some CBT ... all sound positive steps

stopdog...this sounds like it came straight from my H's mouth.

rainbow...I think you're doing well; hang in there! I've got a countdown...10 days to go for me. I hope your T is safe and having a good time and my T made it through her surgery.

i tend to worry about my feelings about my T changing i dont really worry about anything hapening to her. I know things are hard for you right now with her gone.are you going to your yoga and working on your hobby and keeping yourself busy?

stopdog: My brain knows there's nothing I can do so worrying is silly, but telling my heart that is another story.

rainbow_rose: Yes, being mindful helps stop my catastrophizing (is that spelled right?) if I can keep it up, but sometimes I suddenly panic (not a panic attack) and get depressed.

tigergirl: I think if we've experienced any losses it's harder. I had miscarriages in between my kids and after that I knew anything can happen any time. Some people bounce back but I was already a "worst case scenario" type person and those experiences didn't help.

Chopin: I hope your T is fine after surgery too! My countdown until I see my T is 9 days. Let's count together.

granite: Yes, I went to a 3 hour meeting on Sunday, I'm going to yoga, and I'm keeping busy. I'm also trying to let my fingernails grow. Sounds weird, but I've had 2 manicures in my life and my T said "maybe I'll have another one" one day. I have to stop tearing my nails off due to anxiety, first. I feel like I'm in control of something and will have a surprise for my T, I hope.

Rainbow, I've never heard you mention anxiety before. Have you been working on this in therapy? People sometimes over focus on something in their life and this becomes like an "anxiety bank" for them, a place to put all of their anxieties, a way to deal with them. Do you think that your T might be your anxiety bank?

(Fixated is a good term here).

I relate and use to make things for my T, to give her when she was back or, when it was for a long period, to mail to her office week-to-week. See if you can focus on something that happens after she will be back; extending your future thought to something more solid and "normal" instead of free-range might help. I know when I was working on termination, for example, I started also working on my moving house and retiring and the travel that was going to take place a couple months after termination. In other words, build a "bridge" to beyond when she will be back and you won't feel so much like she could have drowned in the river while you stood on the near bank.

Sannah, I'm not sure how you missed it. My anxiety, that is. Every T I've had told me I'm an anxious person though no one ever gave me that as an official diagnosis. Strange as it may seem, my current T is the only one who is actually treating me for it. That's why she introduced me to meditation, mindfulness, and yoga, as well as visualization of the beach, a place where I'm calm and relaxed. My family knows I'm anxious so they don't always tell me things that would make me worry. Since I worry about lots of things, I do not think my T is my anxiety bank. I know that bad things can happen, and I try NOT to focus on them.

I just remembered that my former T did try to help me with anxiety. She had me write, for about a week at least, 100 things I was worried about every day. It was okay to repeat them, as I didn't have 100 different worries. It may have helped. She also told me I could try setting aside 15 minutes of "worry time" each day and if I worried any other time, to tell myself it wasn't my time yet.

Perna: I'm actually going on a mini-trip soon after my session, but that's causing me anxiety too!

What helped me with my anxiety was figuring out what was causing it. --> Curing the disease instead of just treating and coping with the symptoms.

Sannah, I think I know what's causing my anxiety. I'm worried about people dying, and about my own death. My T and I discuss that; she's not afraid to talk about death. Going further into the whys, I don't know. It's not just because my Mom died. I think it's heredity. She was an anxious person too, as well as many of my relatives.

plus your own miscarriages. did they have groups and stuff back then for that or did you pretty much go it alone? "worst case scenario" - is there unfinished business that could be impacting today? I'm so sorry for your losses.

Sounds good to me...9 days for me today. I just spoke to the receptionist (P) at T's practice and she said T is home and sore, but doing well. That was good to hear. What was funny to hear:

I called to set up two appointments for the week of the 14th; one for me and H, one for me. I was able to set up one on the 15th, but P said she has on the schedule that T is going to be out the rest of the week, but at the same time, has several people scheduled for those days. P said (in an irritated voice tone), "Can you call me back tomorrow afternoon? I'm going to have to call T about this. I've got this bad feeling I'm going to be calling a bunch of people to reschedule for that week."

Now both receptionists (P and K) and T have all gotten irked with one another over T's scheduling. Between T and P/K, she was double booked 3 times last week!

I just remembered us talking about your anxiety. I guess it has been awhile.

Being worried about death is a focus for your anxiety, not a cause.

Yes, heredity and environment. I have an anxious dad but I beat my anxious genes by working on my anxiety and getting rid of it.

if this is rainbows focus ........ what kind of things would be a cause? (curious here so I hope you continue this path rainbow )

keep hanging in there...less than a week to go now, right?

One week from tomorrow!

Nice to see that smile, rainbow.

Hi Tigergirl, the causes for my anxiety were 1) I grew up in an emotionally insecure environment. Constant insecurity developed anxiety for me. 2) low self worth, 3) unhealthy boundaries, 4) not expressing my feelings, 5) lack of social skills, 6) not meeting my needs, 7) not living in the present, 8) genetics. So basically not being psychologically healthy triggered my genetic disposition for anxiety.

I corrected all of these things and now I am anxiety free. The belief about diseases is that you need the genetic disposition and then the environment to trigger the disease.

yes! Hang in there Rainbow!!