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  #826  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 07:38 AM
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You know sconnie, I did wonder if the highly sensitive issue was a recognized thing in psychology? Maybe they think its a crock? I dunno. I've had these feelings my whole life but never knew anything like this existed until reading a terrific website about it a few weeks ago. Hell, I turn the light out beside my chair every session and complain how bright it is. I even talked about "retreating" - not understanding why I'm not coming our of this one as soon as the others. I think she had her mind more on her kid than me.

And being the kind of person I am, I am ready to run run run away from therapy. I dont know if I can handle all these emotions coming to the surface. I have a whole three weeks to think about it. Funny thing, I didnt cry yesterday but I did the previous two sessions. Wonder if that had anything to do with her mood? Maybe the sympathy I felt from her was because she saw me in distress.

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  #827  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 07:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Lillylillie View Post

I'm feeling rebellious and reading Thomas Szasz today. Backup T said I would like him. He's famous for saying mental illness is a myth, psychiatry is quackery and talk therapy ministry for the non-religious.
Bright man.
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  #828  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 07:45 AM
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Hey Lilly! Glad you are feeling good today. Hang on to it for as long as possible!



Im not sure about the teachers telling me about being sensitive but I do recall at the slightest hint I was being insulted or even corrected I tended to retreat and go the opposite way. For example, I had a elem teacher tell me I wrote too big. Well my answer to that was, I have not written anything in the past 40 years except my name. I print everything.

But get this, T did tell me.....she doesnt recall ever seeing anyone so "aware" as me. WTF does that mean? Could this be a hint at being highly sensitive? She said I always want to know what she's thinking. Well, whats wrong with that? Isnt that why I'm there? I felt like an idiot - I noticed her DSM book on the shelf and commented that I have a DSM casebook at home I read sometimes. She smiled but I think she thinks I'm nuts! lol. Then I mentioned my Freud books and immediately felt like a fool. I am tired of saying something then immediately feeling guilty or lousy because of it.
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  #829  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 09:46 AM
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arg. I want to text him or email him or something. Where are those martini's when I need them???
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  #830  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 09:58 AM
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Holy cow wikid, martinis at this hour? lol, hell yeah!

I'm a wine girl tho, so pour me a chardonnay. I just told T yesterday that I, own my own, cut back on my drinking bigtime. I run thru cycles where you cant pay me to drink or you cant pry the glass from my hands. I dont seem to have a middle speed, just low and high.
  #831  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 10:05 AM
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lol seasalt. I was joking ... no martini's here. I drank last night, and got pretty buzzed, but it was the first buzz in several years. I am a health food fanatic, so alcohol doesn't really jive with my diet.
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  #832  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 10:08 AM
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lol, sorry wikid I didnt know that.
  #833  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 10:09 AM
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lol, sorry wikid I didnt know that.
hellz no...no reason to be sorry SeaSalt!!

Gawd...I just want to hear his voice so I know he doesn't hate me. How pathetic is that?
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  #834  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 10:16 AM
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You know sconnie, I did wonder if the highly sensitive issue was a recognized thing in psychology? Maybe they think its a crock? I dunno. I've had these feelings my whole life but never knew anything like this existed until reading a terrific website about it a few weeks ago. Hell, I turn the light out beside my chair every session and complain how bright it is. I even talked about "retreating" - not understanding why I'm not coming our of this one as soon as the others. I think she had her mind more on her kid than me.

And being the kind of person I am, I am ready to run run run away from therapy. I dont know if I can handle all these emotions coming to the surface. I have a whole three weeks to think about it. Funny thing, I didnt cry yesterday but I did the previous two sessions. Wonder if that had anything to do with her mood? Maybe the sympathy I felt from her was because she saw me in distress.
Have you read "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron or "Quiet" by Susan Cain? That is what clued me into the sensitivity stuff just a few months ago. I really relate to the material in "Quiet" which mainly focuses on introvertedness, but also mentions sensitivity. I related to parts of the Aron book, but not everything.

I feel the same way about running from the emotions that surface. T calls me a deep thinker, but I can never tell if that's a good or a bad thing with her. I have learned to hide my sensitivity. I had a boss who would chastise any show of weakness, so I learned to create a protective shell. But inside I am still as sensitive as ever. I've never outwardly cried in therapy, but I am usually crying on the inside if that makes any sense at all.
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  #835  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 10:17 AM
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Its not pathetic, wikid. Dare I say........its sweet in some ways.

At the moment I have NO desire to hear my T's voice. Funny, while I was in the waiting area yesterday I heard her and did get a little rise from it. I do like her voice. It was just a weird session for me. The phone calls she took threw me off. Its not that I was mad as hell about it or anything, but I did think it a bit odd since it wasnt an emergency. Then she seemed to possibly be mad at her kid but kinda taking it out on me. Or, its my super-sentitive side kickin in, who knows.....lol
  #836  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 10:22 AM
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sconnie - I am familar with the Aron book but not the other. I may try to Kindle that one this weekend, thanks.

I hate this knee-jerk thing I do when confronted with things hard to deal with. I feel like I'm a deep thinker too. And this is horrible to say, but a small part of my wanting to see a T was for the intellectual stimulation. I have friends and acquaintances, but everyone has their own life, their own drama. I feel like an outsider sometimes. And my town is so small and there's nothing to do here. No museums, art galleries or anything like that, and I really enjoy those things. I feel like I'm stuck in a box sometimes.
  #837  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 10:42 AM
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Hey everyone...SeaSalt, Wikid, Sconnie, Granite, Lola, et al.

Lazy Friday...just got my butt to work. Gotta do a few things, then I'll probably go...long as I work 4 hours, get paid for 8!
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  #838  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 10:47 AM
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Hey everyone...SeaSalt, Wikid, Sconnie, Granite, Lola, et al.

Lazy Friday...just got my butt to work. Gotta do a few things, then I'll probably go...long as I work 4 hours, get paid for 8!

Chopin, how can I get a job where you work??? Dang, that would be nice.
  #839  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 11:01 AM
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hiya all, im just one that pops in occasionally depending on my schedule. work in the summer is all over the place, (i work at a uni)

missing t but having no money to go and see him. summers are awful that way, my oldest son lives with me and works only eight months out of the year, he has summers off, so it really straps me financially.
work is good, just needing to connect with the world and not able to do that lately????
  #840  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 11:23 AM
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* pokes head out of Thomas Szasz book to ask: "why did Backup T. bring this up again??? Is he trying to tell me something???" *
  #841  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 11:24 AM
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I agree with MKAC, how do we get a job where you work Chopin?
I am at work, but not really accomplishing anything noteworthy...
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  #842  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 11:43 AM
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I'm at work too, with a sinus headache. I have the Friday blahs. T tried to get me interested in traveling to a nearby city with a night life but I just cant get into it. Especially by myself. Prolly another boring weekend at home.
  #843  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 12:55 PM
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OK, I just ate some Chinese food and opened the fortune cookie. Guess what it says?


Listen to what someone offers.



Holy cow, how can you argue with a cookie?
  #844  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 01:10 PM
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I gave in and texted him. "I am sorry I bailed, can I please change my mind". Ick. Found out there is no copay for my daughter's B12 shots...maybe I can squeeze out a T copay. It ain't going to be easy though. I am so bad, my big "break from T" lasted one week. I am so embarrassed.
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  #845  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 02:04 PM
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Just replied to the guy about the job in the hour-away city. Hope I asked for enough monies.
  #846  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 02:29 PM
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Well, that was short-lived. They are not flexible about working from home or me taking the train (why are they so insistent on a car?? It would mean 12 hour work days for me! The train is faster and I can get work done on it.)

I could start to be depressed right now. I just turned down a job offer that coulda paid $80K a year! That was one of the biggest branches on the east coast too. damn! am I nuts????

On the other hand, they liked me enough to pay me that much and offer to lease me a car! holy cow! I'm good. Really. I'm worth it. Smart cookie!

I'm holding out for a job at HQ.
  #847  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 02:56 PM
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Chopin, how can I get a job where you work??? Dang, that would be nice.
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Originally Posted by sconnie892 View Post
I agree with MKAC, how do we get a job where you work Chopin?
I am at work, but not really accomplishing anything noteworthy...
Must be 18 years of age, have a NC driver's license, a 4-year degree in a Human Services field, and at least 2 years of experience working directly with individuals with developmental disabilities, and meet NC criteria to be a QMRP/QDDP/QMHP.

That's to get my cushy job. Actually, most days, it's not cushy. The days I work more than 8 hours outnumber the days I only work 4! Plus I have to travel about 2x/month to a city 200 miles away to work for a couple of days at a time.
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  #848  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 03:13 PM
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I gave in and texted him. "I am sorry I bailed, can I please change my mind". Ick. Found out there is no copay for my daughter's B12 shots...maybe I can squeeze out a T copay. It ain't going to be easy though. I am so bad, my big "break from T" lasted one week. I am so embarrassed.
There's nothing embarrassing here, Wikid. Your reaction was perfectly normal. Big hugs!
  #849  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted by WikidPissah View Post
I gave in and texted him. "I am sorry I bailed, can I please change my mind". Ick. Found out there is no copay for my daughter's B12 shots...maybe I can squeeze out a T copay. It ain't going to be easy though. I am so bad, my big "break from T" lasted one week. I am so embarrassed.
Here's a Swedish proverb for you:
Förmågan att idag tänka annorlunda än igår skiljer den vise från den envise.

Which means:
The ability to change your thinking fom yesterday to today separates the wise person from the stubborn one.

ETA: I said it's Swedish, and I thought it was cos it is kind of a play on words in Swedish, but when I look it up I find it's attributed to John Steinbeck. Go figure
  #850  
Old Jun 08, 2012, 04:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Apteryx View Post
Here's a Swedish proverb for you:
Förmågan att idag tänka annorlunda än igår skiljer den vise från den envise.

Which means:
The ability to change your thinking fom yesterday to today separates the wise person from the stubborn one.

ETA: I said it's Swedish, and I thought it was cos it is kind of a play on words in Swedish, but when I look it up I find it's attributed to John Steinbeck. Go figure
Grapes of Wrath wasn't a Swedish Novel??

Thank you...that quote dubs me to be very wise because I change my mind daily.
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