Engage.

Do you engage with T and what does engagement mean too you? What is your style of engagement? Easy? Awkward?

I had to look this up due to a moment of total brain malfunction. So I am going to take engagement to mean participation. Are you involved in your treatment. How etc.

My level of engagement varies. There are weeks where I go in not wanting to be there or with nothing planned. On the whole though, I am working to move forward. Sometimes I bring in lists of topics for th day. Sometimes it's all in my head. I am trying really hard to say things in the moment as they come to mind.

A lot of it is still very awkward for me especially when we're talking about the relationship

My level of engament varies, from not wanting anything to do with therapy to completely doing what is asked to do. I can attend a session and know exactly what I want to talk about to some sessions leaving it completely to,the T what we talk about

I would say it varies from easy to hard depending on what we are talking about.

I was describing my behaviour around a certain situation recently and T said "so you weren't engaging ". I thought about how that felt and wondered of T feels I engage with her . She said its complicated because I sometimes experience her as my mother but that I do engage alongside that though. She asked me if I felt I do? I said awkwardly so I guess. T replies "awkward is ok!!". That felt nice.

Yes I engage, but it is VERY awkward for me. I can't look him in the eyes, and I won't interject anything if he's on a rant. But I try to put things out there and answer questions.

I honestly have no idea. I can't even comprehend what it would be.