I'm going away with my T

Firstly I wondered how ethical it is - though it does appear the plan has gone through proper channels..

Then I too wondered about the fee..

Then I just thought how lovely it sounds, especially the part about T teaching you how to cook. I'd love that. (I'm 27 and I can't cook.. I guess most girls get taught by their mum?)

I hope this experience is healing for you!

..... .....

I hope it's a wonderful and healing time for you

An old online friend I had did something similar with her T years ago and it was a life changing experience for her and gave the breakthrough and help she desperately needed. I hope it's the same for you

"Kids" meaning more than one......

And I was wondering what country you live in, if not TMI.

with my therapist it would be over $14,000

no problem, this was at risk kids in Brooklyn, NY, USA, in the late 1980's. And yes, it was groups of kids.

I am totally baffled. What is DID? and how in the world could you get a therapist to do this with you?? I'm so confused!

DID is dissociative identity disorder formerly known as MPD or multiple personality disorder. as for the 2nd question,sorry we have no idea♥

It is challenging enough for me to spend the 1-2.5 hours a week I do spend with T! Usually I am rushing the session to end and he says "We still have some time" ....
I can't imagine being with him for days on end! That is totally my worst nightmare!!! Not because I don't like him... but because there is only so much of me being emotionally exposed I can take!!! I like to stay hidden in my turtle shell self.

I was thinking the same thing. I still get anxiety when I go to therapy. Plus, I am not a feel touch kind of person. But, we are all different and different things work for each other.

No judgment. Only terrible jealousy.

This still feels weird and I apologize if someone is offended. If it were a group setting I might be able to sleep. However..... I did do an " intensive" FOO" workshop that was 4 days that had 5 other people and a leader and a co- leader, which was my T. That was 4 days of HELL . I love my T but my T is not my friend. I do not want to spend one minute outside of the office with T. I have nothing in common outside of the therapeutic relationship with T, nor would I go somewhere alone with T for a few days. No way no how no way. But that is just me. Maybe with a group( but highly unlikely) . But otherwise no. Blurred boundaries and I would need to see the ethics code for the state or province involved. Sorry. Strong feelings.

I've read all the comments with interest. I live in the uk, it will cost £600 and that's including accommodation. We leave this Saturday. I got my T to do it by asking, rather often I must admit! As for ethics it's been through what seems like a million people. So that's ok. We have a full itinary and I imagine I might come back exhausted. Obviously we will have seperate bedrooms etc, there will be no funny business lol, that's just not right. Anyway, we are both female and I think of her as a mother.

I have my worries about it all though. I don't want to come back in a mess but it feels like all I need is in place.

I'm looking forward to learning to cook as part of. My problem is no one in me will take responsibility for food and as a result I spend a lot of time hungry.

I hope I've answered all the questions.

Many thanks for the replies. X

Wishing you all the best for your weekend - I'm sure it will be hard work but I bet it can be extremely rewarding, too. Good luck, and keep us posted!

I also wish the very best for you on this. It will be a great chance for powerful healing for you!

Hey there,

My first reaction was - very shocked that any therapist would do this as it seems to cross many boundaries of therapy, however it does seem to have gone through the appropriate channels and been a long process to sort out. I think most of us are shocked as it's something we know our therapists wouldnt do (I live in the uk also).

I also think secretly many of us (not all) would love the opportunity to do something like this...or maybe at least spend more time with our therapists. Heck I can't even get mine to have longer sessions than 50 minutes lol.

I also have noticed that therapists who work with DID tend to work in a more flexible nature with their clients or at least work differently.

I really hope you have a productive time, learn to cook and get something very positive out of it all

I would be content to do the dishes, the laundry or the gardening with her.

I thought I would come back and tell you about going away with my T. We went away for 4 days, 3 nights to a log cabin in Scotland. It was a difficult time but also very worthwhile. The aim was to experience having a mum, being cared for and also me learning how to control the others inside me. I felt I worked really hard and some days I felt exhausted when I went to bed. I practiced being in control, and I learned how to cook several different meals. That was a big step as I was neither cooking nor eating. My therapist put me to bed each night and showed me how to care for myself and be kind to myself. She tucked me in, made sure I was warm and showed me how to make going to bed a pleasant experience. Before people come back and go on about ethics I want to explain something. Since my return I have managed to incorporate food shopping and cooking into my life, I go to bed at night and snuggle into my cosy bed and sleep soundly. Before I went away I could hardly get to bed at night and my eating was erratic. I also could not do any food shopping. I have come back with a sense of worth having experienced what it is like to have a mum and that has allowed me to move on and care for myself. I actually look after myself now. My T sat with me in the evenings and wrapped me in a blanket and held me while we simply watched tv. It was a magical and difficult experience.

Nothing inappropriate went one, we are both females and had different bed rooms.

My T is on holiday at the moment and has been for 3 weeks and here I am managing fine. I'm coping alone and I would never have thought that possible. I have the keys to her house, which is where she sees me, and I go over and tend her plants in her greenhouse while she is away and then have a cup of tea and make my way home. All the time I'm quietly contented because I got the experience of being cared for and I am now able to do this for myself.

Welcome back! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

hey girls, thanks for reporting back. i'm understanding now what you mean about learning to take care of yourself. This has ben a difficulty and a mystery for me too, but i'm starting to take better care of myself, and not see myself as a burden, but to enjoy it. thanks again.

This was always a fantasy of mine with my older female T, looking for the missing mother experience... i read about it somewhere called, tweening or twinning...i wish i could remember what they called it. Either way i am glad it worked out for you!

Thank you all for these kind replies. It means a lot. I was nervous to come back and update this thread but I'm glad I did.

Best wishes to all xxxx

I am glad to hear that you've been able to make such helpful changes with the food & bedtime routine.

While wholly unconventional, it sounds like your therapist had incredible instincts about what you needed. I imagine that she takes a special joy in seeing the progress you`ve made unfold and stay in place.

Your experience sounds amazing, and my hat is off to your therapist for handling the whole thing with the utmost of ethics and compassion.