things aren't going very well at the moment.. i'm not going to go into detail, but i need some advice or something..

my therapist is on leave for 3 weeks, then she's back for 3 weeks and then she's gone for good.

i'm meant to meet my new therapist tomorrow morning. but i'm terrified of going. i'm actually having nightmares about it and waking up crying. i know it will be harder to go and see her if i don't go tomorrow... i'm just not sure if i can make myself..

i don't know what to do..

[purplelephant]

I know how hard it can be to end the therapeutic relationship. Were you very attached?
Or are these feelings more directed to the new therapist? Why this fear of seeing her? Maybe she's really good! Maybe you could try to see this as an opportunity for a great new asset in your life.
I hope you feel better once you've met her

[BonnieJean]

TQOxx - losing your t like that must be so difficult. It seems like if there is anyway you can make yourself go, you should try to meet the new t tomorrow. If you don't go tomorrow and prolong not knowing what the new t will be like, you might continue to be anxious about it and have nightmares.

[Towanda]

I agree with PurpleElephant. This new T may be a wonderful person, and someone that may end up making a huge difference in your life. Take a leap of faith and go. What do you have to lose besides fifty minutes?

Good luck - my best wishes and prayers go with you

[roads]

Originally Posted by TheQuietOnexx

i know it will be harder to go and see her if i don't go tomorrow... i'm just not sure if i can make myself..

i don't know what to do..

You know what to do: You have to decide whether this is worth the risk and the effort of "making yourself" face what Chuck Palahniuk speaks of in the quote you use in your sig line ...

"You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be."

I hope you go. I really, really do.

Roadie

Yeah I was really attached to my old one.

I'm scared she'll either be mean and not care or she'll be mean and lock me in hospital. It doesn't help that the appt is at the inpatient unit when I saw my old T at the outpatient centre.

I know I have to go... I'm just terrified.

[PiperLeigh]

This must be difficult. Sending some ++ thoughts your way. Please do come back after and tell us how it goes. <3

[purplelephant]

What helps me through the process of leaving my T is thinking that I am leaving HER (which is partially true-it's complicated). I know that sounds a little random, and possibly a little like breaking up with a significant other, but it's helpful.
So just think. You like your old T. But you've decided it's best to move on and find someone new who can help you and that you'll like even more. And you and old T can part on good terms and both move on as equals.
That's what I like to think anyways.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Quiet one, I will be with you today in spirit.

thanks PiperLeigh.

and purplelephant, i'll try and think of it like that.. thanks..

I just found out my helpline counsellor is going away for 2 weeks.

I know I'm gunna seem really borderline but everyone keeps leaving.. What did I do wrong? The only person I can talk to is S and I only see her once every 2 weeks.

I just need things to stop getting harder.

[roads]

I know it's not the same, but you do have us here at PsychCentral. When you're on your way into your appointment, know that some of us will be thinking about you and will be with you in a mental/spiritual way. Try to "feel" this connection, almost as a friend's hand would slip into yours to give yours a quick squeeze, to say, "I believe in you, I know you can do this ... "



Roadie

[confuseduk]

does that mean you're borderline?

Thanks Roadie.

Yeah I am, why?

[roads]

Originally Posted by TheQuietOnexx

Thanks Roadie.

Yeah I am, why?

confuseduk asked whether you're borderline, not me. IDK why the question...

So ...
Deep breath ... slow, steady walk ... I hope the meeting goes well.
I'll be looking to hear how you're feeling about it all, okay?

Roadie

[confuseduk]

no sorry I meant does feeling that way mean you're borderline?

The feeling abandoned is a trait but just that doesn't mean you are.. If you think you are you should see a dr and they can make a diagnoses, no one here can tell you if you are or not.

[confuseduk]

ok sorry, was just curious. Hope the appointment went ok. You're in my thoughts

I had to walk through the main hospital, past emergency and now I'm waiting in reception of the psych inpatient. So anxious. I just want to run away.

No need to be sorry.

Appt went okay i guess.. I couldn't be honest, I don't trust her.

[confuseduk]

I'm sorry you didn't feel able to trust her, do you think that is because she is leaving? I think you did really well not running away when you were so anxious

I trust the T thTs leaving its my new one I saw today that I don't.

[Sannah]

You need time to build trust. Having your T leave has probably damaged your trust a bit?

[taylor43]

((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) it takes time to build trust especially when you are leaving old t. Know we are here for you anytime.

[roads]

I'm sorry, TheQuietOnexx. Are willing to put all the time in again on a relationship that may again desert you?