[rainboots87]

In about 6 weeks or so, I'll be moving across the country and away from my T. I've worked with her over a year and a half- at first in a small process group in Oct.-Dec. 2010, then individual since Jan. 2011. I am quite attached to her, and leaving makes me feel very sad. I've already cried about it a couple of times.

I've seen a bunch of therapists here and there, but I had a similar reaction to the therapist I saw July 2007-Aug. 2008 in individual and group. The transition was very difficult for me, and I'm even more attached to my current T. Old T was actually someone who put me off at first and I wasn't crazy about her, though I grew to really like her. With my current T, I felt like I clicked with her immediately and my feelings have only grown stronger.

I am really really really sad about this relationship ending, because I know she can't be my friend and it hurts. I shared that with her on Monday in a short note/letter I wrote her, and I felt sooo embarrassed about it. She said there was nothing to be embarrassed about and thanked me for holding her in such high esteem. Which was as good a reaction as I could have hoped for, but it still isn't us becoming wonderful friends.

Due to attachment issues that have been popping up, we cut back down to once a week sessions because the weeks I saw her twice have been "activating" for me lately. I know it's for the best, but it means fewer sessions with her are left. I only let myself be vulnerable with so few people that I have a really tough time with those rships ending versus other rships I don't get invested in and don't give a second thought when they end. Which makes it all the more harder to open up to people when I know how it affects me.

Well, I'll stop rambling now. Basically, I'm gonna miss my T a lot and I feel very sad about leaving.

[purplelephant]

rainboots, you can ramble to us anytime. We get what it's like to feel this way and not really have anywhere else to talk about it.
It's so good that you managed to share this with your T. Otherwise, you might regret not letting her know. Her positive reaction was also very genuine.
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish I could make it better for you.
Could give her a little something (inexpensive or handmade if you knit or something) so that a little piece of you will still be with her?

Oh, rainboots, I've been where you are and it hurts like hell. Enjoy the remaining sessions and remember that she'll always be a part of you. Did you ask about occasional emails (a few times a year perhaps)? One previous T and I do this and though it's not the same, it does help to feel still connected to one of the few people whom I've really let in. Take care of yourself.

[rainboots87]

Thanks guys for the hugs and words of support. I am planning to give her a handmade gift (a certain artsy crafty thing I do sometimes, but too specific to list w/o possibly identifying myself). I gave her something like it just before she went on maternity leave last summer. And I haven't asked yet about emails, though I think (hope!) she'll say yes. That's what I do with my old T and old dietitian- update emails about once a year, sometimes with a picture (like when I finally ran and completed my first half marathon). And you're right that she'll always be a part of me. She and I talked about that, and she said we don't have to talk to have a connection and that she hopes I take her with me when I move. That I pack her up and keep her in my pocket and take her out when I need her, lol. Thanks again

[rainboots87]

I don't need a reply, just a place to unload these emotions and thoughts right now.

I am sad and worried and scared about moving. And I will be okay. Man, sitting with my negative emotions is really uncomfortable :/ Just trying to talk myself calm. Breathe!

[Wren_]

these days with more and more T's offering alternatives like skype therapy; email therapy; phone therapy etc. have you looked at any of those as a way for continuing with your therapist? even if it was just until you are established in your new home and can find someone locally (or it could be longer term). Either way I know this is hard

[rainboots87]

Really missing her right now and it's only been a few days since I last saw her. And less than 2 full days since she texted an encouraging response to one of my texts. And I'll see her on Monday afternoon, so just a few days from now. I miss her, but I'm scared to tell her how much because I don't want her to pull away from me right now. Stupid attachment...

[rainbow_rose]

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