[InTherapy]

Well,

I think I lost my T.

I had promised to have 4 sessions with her and this was my 4th. She asked me, do you want to continue?

I couldn't answer.

This feels like a power struggle to me. Like she wants me to say "I need your help." I was already coming every week, on time, paying. Why did she have to make me make a decision?

I couldn't do it. I wouldn't let her force me. She gave me her card and said to call IF I want another appointment.

I want to cut my arm into bloody ribbons. I'm sitting here with wallet in hand ready to go the the pharmacy and something made me sit and write this.

I really don't think I cn get better ever, I feel sl bad and I just watn it to stop.

((((((((((((((((IT))))))))))))))))) many many huge safe hugs to you

[purplelephant]

InTherapy
Ts can't MAKE you continue and therapy won't be effective unless it's your choice and you can acknowledge that it is your choice. For a while my parents made me get therapy and after a month or so for me to adjust, the T offered to tell my parents she thought I didn't need to continue if I wanted. But I chose to stay. I don't think your T was trying to force you into anything, she just wanted to you to own your needs. I could be completely wrong though

sorry you're feeling upset, I hope you overcome the urges to SI.

I'm not sure I understand.. My T always asks me at the end of each session - 'do you want to make another appointment?'... I think your T was perhaps trying not to have a power struggle with you, but give you the power. It is your decision if you want to attend therapy each week. Maybe she thought it presumptuous to assume you are going to keep showing up? Wouldn't that be more like forcing you? By asking you, she's making it clear the choice is always yours...

[sittingatwatersedge]

dear (((((((((((((( jsg )))))))))))))

it's said that wounds that are done to us in relationships can only be healed in relationship. It's hard work, but a damn sight better than hurting yourself. Others have done that, time for the healing to begin and you can be your own champion.

Please see what you can do to be brave, maybe a non-shaming friend or pastor can help you there, or whatever support network you have. Come back and let us know how you go. you have my prayers, anyway!!

SAWE

[gma45]

Oh dear! I don't think your T was trying to force you into anything. I am so glad you reached out and posted here. If it were me I would call and make an appointment if you think meeting with her was helping you. Don't feel bad because you didn't have an answer for her when she asked, you just needed time to think and that is ok. I wish you the best. Sending positive vibes and safe cyber hugs!

[WePow]

Sending you very big hugs. Sometimes I think the T wants us to realize when we do need help... and then to ask for that help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help or needing help. And it takes courage to ask for what we need. If you need to see T, you have to find the strength to ask for that connection and state your need.
Doing that was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn in therapy. But it is a valuable lesson. And when we learn how to ask for what we need, many things can change for us.

Originally Posted by InTherapy

Well,

I think I lost my T.

I had promised to have 4 sessions with her and this was my 4th. She asked me, do you want to continue?

I couldn't answer.

This feels like a power struggle to me. Like she wants me to say "I need your help." I was already coming every week, on time, paying. Why did she have to make me make a decision?

I couldn't do it. I wouldn't let her force me. She gave me her card and said to call IF I want another appointment.

I want to cut my arm into bloody ribbons. I'm sitting here with wallet in hand ready to go the the pharmacy and something made me sit and write this.

I really don't think I cn get better ever, I feel sl bad and I just watn it to stop.

I don't see how asking if you want to continue is forcing you into anything. She is leaving the decision up to you. The 4 sessions you promised were done. The natural thing to ask is if you want another session, or whether you are done.

Have you thought about what other possible responses she might have had that would have made you feel better? What did you want to hear from her? If she had said, "I hope you continue" that could have been construed as urging, or pressuring you to continue. See if you can figure out what you wanted to hear from her. That may make you feel better.

Anyway, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about this. Lots of safe hugs to you .....

[InTherapy]

I didn't end up cutting (yet anyway) but I just cant think or write about it anymore right now.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by InTherapy

Well,

I think I lost my T.

I had promised to have 4 sessions with her and this was my 4th. She asked me, do you want to continue?

I couldn't answer.

This feels like a power struggle to me. Like she wants me to say "I need your help." I was already coming every week, on time, paying. Why did she have to make me make a decision?

I couldn't do it. I wouldn't let her force me. She gave me her card and said to call IF I want another appointment.

I want to cut my arm into bloody ribbons. I'm sitting here with wallet in hand ready to go the the pharmacy and something made me sit and write this.

I really don't think I cn get better ever, I feel sl bad and I just watn it to stop.

She was giving you the power.. the autonomous ability to choose. That can, indeed, be scary.

[WikidPissah]

(((IT))) I am sorry you felt confronted. It really does have to be your decision though. Was she helpful at all? Did you feel like you could connect with her? There is nothing wrong with thinking about it for a little while before making a commitment. And remember that commitment is only for one week..it isn't for months or years or life. It is just ONE appointment. You can stop when ever you want or need to.