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#1
May 25, 2012, 02:13 PM
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!!!Trigger!!!
One of my son's co workers killed himself last week.  When my son would drop by he was upset. I know I have been on both sides of the fence. So today was the funeral. I didn't know the guy, but it seems as if he was 'well-known' in town. The obituary said he was this and that... and made him seem so special.I feel bad for his family... My problem... if this had been a no body then it would have not been a big deal and a huge obit in the paper. There are many, many no bodies who die every day like this. We don't 'honor' them. Just a vent.... PS on one note I don't know why I am feeling like this...
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 TinaL |
 Anonymous43209, autumnleaves, FourRedheads, likelife, SpiritRunner
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 autumnleaves
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#2
May 25, 2012, 02:46 PM
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******TRIGGER!!!*******
I've felt similarly before. When I was in high school, there was a boy a few years younger than me who I saw in the hallways but did not know who killed himself. Although I think it's perfectly appropriate to be sad, it was very bizarre to witness the range of reactions that people had to the boy's death. It was well known after the suicide that he had been mercilessly teased. I can say that my personal reaction was to feel regretful that I could not have protected him... I didn't even know his name before he died and certainly didn't know or witness that he was being teased. Other students responded by expressing that he deserved to be made fun of and they were glad he was gone (I think a reaction to actual guilt, internally). Most responded by putting the boy on a pedestal and pledging never to forget him. I find this noble, but why not help someone while they are alive?!?
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"Just as a jewel that has been buried in the earth for a million years is not discolored or harmed, in the same way this noble heart is not affected by all of our kicking and screaming. The jewel can be brought out into the light at any time, and it will glow as brilliantly as if nothing had ever happened. No matter how committed we are to unkindness, selfishness, or greed, the genuine heart of bodhichitta cannot be lost. It is here in all that lives, never marred and completely whole."
Pema Chodron |
| TinaL
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#3
May 25, 2012, 03:20 PM
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I agree Autumn. I don't know the whole story and prolly the only people who do are him and his wife. My son said, she wanted a divorce. He lost it. I always wonder how many people actually care when a person is alive that their having problems. And then this happens, and ppl say why? I'm not blaming anyone.
I know how it feels not to have anyone to turn to.. and I am one of those 'no bodies.'
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TinaL |
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#4
May 25, 2012, 04:11 PM
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Quote:
Is there someone in your life you fear would not be missed? Yourself, perhaps?
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Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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#5
May 25, 2012, 04:19 PM
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You ARE somebody. I get what you're saying though. It's how you feel and it feels pretty bad. But you're not a nobody.
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| TinaL
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#6
May 25, 2012, 06:45 PM
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Quote:
No one would have known until it was to late.
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TinaL |
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#7
May 25, 2012, 07:15 PM
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Quote:
No one and I mean no one knew my cousin was having problems. He hid it very well. He was a well-liked and well-known local surfer. Everyone from his mother to his sister to his best friend to his girlfriend said they had no idea he was going through anything. A neighbor found him in his yard and he had managed to blow his own head off with a shotgun. He was 40. My cousin was "somebody" so he got the huge funeral, obit, etc. He was a surfer, so they did a "memorial surf" for him. In contrast, I am also nobody except for a select few. I would be mourned, but not by many.
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Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau |
| TinaL
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#8
May 25, 2012, 07:51 PM
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I am sorry for you're loss, Chopin. That is one thing I told my son, sometimes people hide it and it's the depression, it's not that they mean too.
That is the deception of depression. Good job, nice home, ect. Means nothing if you are on the edge.
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TinaL |
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#9
May 25, 2012, 10:29 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
| TinaL
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| TinaL
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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