[lostmyway21]

Idk what sparked this but I just emailed this to T.

"Why should I trust you with my deepest most intimate secrets? What makes you so special? Why in the world do I make promises to you that I refuse to break? Why do I constantly seek your approval? Why do I care so much about what you think about me? Why did I give you so much influence over my thoughts? Why do I care if you give up on me so much? Why would I be devastated if you abandoned me? Why am I so attached to you? Why do I value our relationship so damn much? Why should I care what you think? Why should I love you like a parent if you cant love me like a kid? Why should I keep coming back if this only gets harder? Why should I believe in you?"

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

Idk what sparked this but I just emailed this to T.

"Why should I trust you with my deepest most intimate secrets? What
makes you so special? Why in the world do I make promises to you that
I refuse to break? Why do I constantly seek your approval? Why do I
care so much about what you think about me? Why did I give you so much
influence over my thoughts? Why do I care if you give up on me so
much? Why would I be devastated if you abandoned me? Why am I so
attached to you? Why do I value our relationship so damn much? Why
should I care what you think? Why should I love you like a parent if
you cant love me like a kid? Why should I keep coming back if this
only gets harder? Why should I believe in you?"

I think it's brilliant! Hopefully your therapist is skilled enough to sort through it with you in a way that has you walking out of there feeling therapeutically secure.

Very great questions that deserve time and attention from T. Thank you for writing and sharing with us.

[lostmyway21]

I just hope he responds. I sent him a second email telling him I NEED a response to this and it could affect our theraputic relationship. BUT he does strategically chose to not answer certain things.

[Wren_]

I hope he will respond ... or talk about it in session with you since theres a lot too it .. but also all really good questions and ones I have as well

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

I just hope he responds. I sent him a second email telling him I NEED a response to this and it could affect our theraputic relationship. BUT he does strategically chose to not answer certain things.

I hope he at least acknowledges it.. but a thorough response might not even be possible. Your email deserves a face to face, you and he genuinely engaged. But it would be nice if he would say something like "You've asked a lot of important questions, and I want us to talk about it when I see you next."

[Out_of_denial]

Thats a lot how I felt with my last T. She ended up abandoning me and I was beyond devastated. Turns out the whole relationship was screwed up (1 year) and in the end, she really had nothing to give. She has issues that she wasn't dealing with and I needed her to be well and wasn't falling for her calm demenor. In the end, she was completly frazzled (her words) and just lost control of things and I was collaterol damage. I've never heard from her again. I feel a million times better, all the depression that got worse the longer I saw her is gone. I see a new T that actually knows her and gives me hints that I wasn't wrong about what was happening in her professional life and her non social characteristics out side of therapy. and I have NONE of those feelings anymore. Therapy shouldn't make you feel worse.

[lostmyway21]

Um I beyond sure he wouldn't abandon me. I'm misdirecting my anger at him right now. He's an awesome T. I just want these questions answered. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

I don't see how he could possibly respond to these important questions via email. It would, IMO, be dumb to try. But then again, I don't want my T to do therapy with me via email. I am okay talking on the phone if I need to between sessions.

But these are questions that need interaction, IMO. He needs to say something and then you need to respond and then he needs to respond to that. These things need to be discussed, not just written up like an answer to a test.

Is it a test? Are you setting him up to fail by trying to address this via email, where you can pick apart his every word and show how he doesn't measure up?

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by ListenMoreTalkLess

I don't see how he could possibly respond to these important questions via email. It would, IMO, be dumb to try. But then again, I don't want my T to do therapy with me via email. I am okay talking on the phone if I need to between sessions.

But these are questions that need interaction, IMO. He needs to say something and then you need to respond and then he needs to respond to that. These things need to be discussed, not just written up like an answer to a test.

Is it a test? Are you setting him up to fail by trying to address this via email, where you can pick apart his every word and show how he doesn't measure up?

I guess I can save it for session. He's always been good at responding to difficult questions via email, so it's not a test.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by ListenMoreTalkLess

I don't see how he could possibly respond to these important questions via email... Is it a test?

Good points, LMTL. I'd almost say each of these are essay questions for the OP to answer. They are what therapy is all about, "What Therapy Means To Me", How I Did Therapy On My Summer Vacation. I mean, it's Lost's feelings, her answers, that matter here.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

Um I beyond sure he wouldn't abandon me. I'm misdirecting my anger at him right now. He's an awesome T. I just want these questions answered. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Is it possible that the bold line is an issue that is more important than the questions that you asked him?

[WikidPissah]

It is a bit much to answer in email, but I hope he responds at least briefly. They are very good questions to explore with him, maybe on your walk tomorrow?

[karebear1]

Have you heard from T regarding you email yet??

[lostmyway21]

No he's ignoring me.

[karebear1]

UGH!!! What good does ingnoring do?? It only infuriates me more.

Are you doing ok today?

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by karebear1

UGH!!! What good does ingnoring do?? It only infuriates me more.

Are you doing ok today?

I'm about to get mad and impulsive and yell at him.

[lostmyway21]

Yup I yelled at him. whatever.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

"Why should I trust you with my deepest most intimate secrets? What makes you so special? Why in the world do I make promises to you that I refuse to break? Why do I constantly seek your approval? Why do I care so much about what you think about me? Why did I give you so much influence over my thoughts? Why do I care if you give up on me so much? Why would I be devastated if you abandoned me? Why am I so attached to you? Why do I value our relationship so damn much? Why should I care what you think? Why should I love you like a parent if you cant love me like a kid? Why should I keep coming back if this only gets harder? Why should I believe in you?"

Those are all really great questions and deserve a session or three. Definitely fodder for the face to face sessions. Email would not be the right way to discuss these important concerns, IMO. Good luck at your next session with this.

I'm misdirecting my anger at him right now.

Can you say more about what you meant about misdirecting your anger at your T? Was your email and its questions supposed to be angry? It didn't come off as angry to me. That is the problem with email--if you are angry and want your T to know it, that emotion may not even come through in the written word. I hope you can work on whatever it is that is making you angry in session.

I NEED a response to this and it could affect our theraputic relationship. B

Only if you let it. That is within your control.

[WikidPissah]

you yelled at him? over the phone or thru email? yikes!

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by sunrise

Those are all really great questions and deserve a session or three. Definitely fodder for the face to face sessions. Email would not be the right way to discuss these important concerns, IMO. Good luck at your next session with this.

Can you say more about what you meant about misdirecting your anger at your T? Was your email and its questions supposed to be angry? It didn't come off as angry to me. That is the problem with email--if you are angry and want your T to know it, that emotion may not even come through in the written word. I hope you can work on whatever it is that is making you angry in session.

Only if you let it. That is within your control.

Yeah my anger only came through in the emails following that one, and then the one today yelling at him for ignoring me. He replied, that he didn't mean to ignore me. He told me he will answer all my questions in session tomorrow. My anger made me foret he had a family emergency this weekend, and that he deoesnt get home until 930 and he's pretty much just busy, which he explained.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

you yelled at him? over the phone or thru email? yikes!

Email ofc.

[pbutton]

Are you still within your 2 emails per day rule that he set for you? Maybe he's trying to stick to the plan?

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by pbutton

Are you still within your 2 emails per day rule that he set for you? Maybe he's trying to stick to the plan?

I haven't stuck to the plan since he left for vacation. Bleh I suck. He gave me a break this weekend... I just haven't went back to it, cause I'm a failure.

[pbutton]

You can never be a failure, as long as you are trying.