My T just dumped me in stages.

Hey,
Well i just got back from my T expecting to do EMDR and instead got hit with such a huge horrid bombshell! He won't do anymore EMDR with me for 2 years as he wants me to attend some group for a year to regulate my emotions. I see where he's coming from but how are my emotions going to be stable when i'm flooded with PTSD symptoms. Then he said he probably wouldn't do the treatment with me, it would be someone else. It took a year to trust him enough to tell him this stuff now he expects me to do it all over again, no way i'd rather die. I'm in such a mess, he promised he'd help me but how is this helping me. He wants to keep seeing me until the group is ready to start but i don't even see the point he's took away any hope i had, i don't see the point in going every week to see him and talk about the week, let him in a bit more just so he can ditch me in 6 months. I dunno what to do, any advice?

ugh (((crazylife))) This emotion regulation stuff is huge for some T's. Look at how many on here have been referred off to DBT and such. Not that it's bad...so many people are so glad for it after the fact.

Do you trust your T? If so, then maybe follow him in the direction he is leading you. There is always time in the future to say "wait a minute, this isn't working for me".

Oh, this sounds extremely difficult.

Can you tell him these things? Could you perhaps send him these exact words in writing beforehand, in an email or a letter?

If I remember correctly, you had some scary symptoms after your EMDR... is that why he wants you to wait before doing it again?

My spontaneous reaction, which maybe has no relevance at all for you (if so, pay no attention to it) is that it sounds rather unfair to expect you to open up to a group of people if you have had a lot of trouble opening up to your T in the past. This might just be the fact that I would never do group therapy in a hundred years, though.

we are very sorry that he did that to you♥♥♥ groups have always been very hard for us and we hope you will reconsider going as once the initial fear is over they actually do end up being helpful

Sorry to hear that..

Wow. I am so sorry for the pain. It sounds like you have a lot of trauma pain that needs to be worked through. In my opinion, a trauma T specialist may be worth researching. I don't like how he is treating you this way. Be sure you give yourself a voice and let him know how this impacts you.

Yeah, I agree, this is kind of shabby treatment, although he may be doing it to help you stay safe after EMDR. Your response may have prompted his decision.

However, I strongly believe these decisions should not be unilateral. There should be some discussion of the path ahead don't you think?

I would try try try to talk to him about this.

Wow that is unbelievably ******! I know exactly how you feel. So frustrating that this seems to happen to so many people. I though my case was unique but apparently not. Same thing happened to me. Want me to kick your T in shins for you? I will you know!!

No seriously. I'm so sorry. It's a bad situation. If you trust your T though maybe its a good thing even if it doesn't feel like that right now.

i did find out what i did wrong ... i've had a few episodes of cutting myself un-related to EMDR and due to that i'm to unstable even though i did it 4 times, nothing major and have control over it. I'm done with them for the moment i'll have more look sorting myself than speaking in a group of strangers. Thanks guys this will be a support for a while. Plus a kick in the shins wouldn't go a miss.

@crazylife wait, did you really just say you only cut 4 times and you have control over it? ummm....

Yep because i chose to do it to relieve the emotional pain and to feel something physically, it's not something i do out of impulse anymore.

I hate to tell you, but cutting is not an action of truly being in contol. It is very much out of control. You may not be doing it "impulsively" by your standards, but it isn't an action of someone who is handling things well.

^^^^^ so true, so true, but damn if it doesn't work for the short term!!^^^^

I would hate that, who he thinks he is to make that decission for you?
Screw him. I would so not keep going back for more.
Sorry for being so angry but I just hate when Ts make decission for us, they can only help us making them. For Godsake it's OUR life.

I actually disagree. Cutting is simply a coping mechanism. It isn't really all that different from popping an Ativan, smoking a cigarette, having a drink...etc. (probably a bit safer too) It takes a lot of will power and white knuckling to go from impulsive cutting to a controlled less frequent slice.

Good for you for working on it CrazyLife...I know first hand how difficult that is. I know that eventually you will be able to replace those controlled cuts with a more accepted form of coping.