[AngelWolf3]

Ok. So I have noticed that I am starting to think about my therapist a lot. Not in a romantic way, but in a way that is yearning for her approval. Like she will think I am unworthy of her help or something like that. I think about how I dress when I go there, etc. I almost have caught myself wishing that she was my mom. Is this weird? Is this normal? I kind of feel like I am stupid for posting this, so even if no one replies that is ok. Thanks for listening.

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

Is this weird? Is this normal? I kind of feel like I am stupid for posting this, so even if no one replies that is ok.

Not weird and really normal. Keep reading posts, you will see a lot of us go thru that. You definitely aren't stupid for posting, we are glad to have you here.

Welcome to PC.

[likelife]

Not at all weird! In some ways it can signal a new phase of therapy...

[pbutton]

Totally normal, you'll see this theme a lot around here.

[yang0868]

My T admitted to me that she hopes I would see her as a "mother figure" so that it would be "healing." I don't know if I'm there yet. I view her more as a mentor/guardian. She said "that's a nice way to look at it." Have you talked to your T about this?

[AngelWolf3]

First off, thank you everyone for replies!

yang, I didn't even think of that! I will have to think about saying something,but I tend to embarrass easily and have the self-esteem/rejection issues, so of course even posting about it was huge. So to tell her, I would feel really really anxious about it...(but I'm sure you know that already, probably goes without saying ) Thank you for the suggestion!!!

[Snakebit]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

First off, thank you everyone for replies!

yang, I didn't even think of that! I will have to think about saying something,but I tend to embarrass easily and have the self-esteem/rejection issues, so of course even posting about it was huge. So to tell her, I would feel really really anxious about it...(but I'm sure you know that already, probably goes without saying ) Thank you for the suggestion!!!

Wolfin,

A similar feeling to yours is how I stumbled onto this board several years ago. I finally found my feeling - wishing my T would adopt me - listed in a psychology 101 book that I bought in a secondhand store.

It was like the weigh of the world came off my shoulders when I read those words.

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

First off, thank you everyone for replies!

yang, I didn't even think of that! I will have to think about saying something,but I tend to embarrass easily and have the self-esteem/rejection issues, so of course even posting about it was huge. So to tell her, I would feel really really anxious about it...(but I'm sure you know that already, probably goes without saying ) Thank you for the suggestion!!!

Wolfin: You're very welcome. It's important for your T to know this. When you feel this way for your T, it is actually a very good thing because it means that your whatever your T is doing, it's working for you. Talking about it will help you come to understand and know yourself much more. It is very hard to talk about it. You don't have to say it all to your T in one session. If it's too overwhelming, do it slowly. What I've learn is, it's best to say it right away at the beginning of sessions so that T and you have time to discuss it. Don't wait until the end of session or else you're left hanging and that's when it will really feel like you're being rejected. I understand the fear of being rejected. I guess one way you can look at this big revelation you have is a way to see if this is the T who can really work for and with you. I believe that a good T will use these feelings that you're having to help you heal. It's teamwork. Well, I wish you well and know that you can do it.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

Ok. So I have noticed that I am starting to think about my therapist a lot. Not in a romantic way, but in a way that is yearning for her approval. Like she will think I am unworthy of her help or something like that. I think about how I dress when I go there, etc. I almost have caught myself wishing that she was my mom. Is this weird? Is this normal? I kind of feel like I am stupid for posting this, so even if no one replies that is ok. Thanks for listening.

if you were here where I live and work no this is not weird and is normal. here doing that says you have a great client-therapist relationship.

From what I've read here, and from my own experience, I think this is pretty normal! I also think it's a good thing, and the therapeutic relationship is healing. I think my T encouraged me to see her this way, too.. I fought it for SOOOOO long, though.. (similar reasons to what you describe: fears of rejection and abandonment etc..) I don't think I managed to say much about it face to face, I just couldn't, so it went in email..

[SoupDragon]

Yep, think about him alot. Sometimes I see it as a positive thing, like if I am faced with a problem, I can imagine what he may say to me - other times it is really annoying - like I can't get him out of my head.

Welcome to PC BTW - Soup

[Chloe2]

Im struggling with this too. I see my t as a father figure/friend, I think about him a lot. I hate it. I think its normal, these relationships are so strange, mine feels very much like a friendship of some kind the way we interact.

[Hope-Full]

As the others have said - totally normal! I would imagine it's more typical for people to think this way about their T than not. I find that when I am really struggling, sometimes I do like Soup said - and try to imagine what T would say. Sometimes I go as far as calling Ts answering machine, just to listen to the recording. Ts voice has an instant calming effect on me, and has since about 5 months into our work together.

The T relationship is a very strange one, yet a very real one. It's totally one-sided, but it is within that one-sidedness that a mutual respect and understanding can develop, and the trust and safety - it is incomparable! (at least for me!)

[retro_chic]

I have the same sort of feelings towards my T too so you're not alone!

Also, is this classified as some sort of transference thing? I've been trying to think about where I could be transferring these feelings from and I can't figure it out. Can't it just be a simple case of "T is really nice so I like her a lot"?

[WikidPissah]

I wrote this on another thread, but I guess I will repeat it here.
For me:
Attachment is my desire to see and speak to T
Transference is thinking that T will use the attachment to hurt me. (like others in my life have done.)

[retro_chic]

So would a fear of T leaving me / therapy ending be transference? If so, I guess I am experiencing transference then. Fabulous. Another "issue" to deal with.