Another to call or not to call quandry

Mostly, I just need to type this out so I can decide what to do...

I've gone to every other week sessions, rather than weekly. Last week was the first session after the change, and now I don't have a session this week. However, I'm really struggling today! I had to do something very triggering for me yesterday, and I got through it, and I thought I was fine. Now, it's hitting me and I'm "not so fine." T knew about this thing, and she asked me to text her and let her know how I was doing afterwards. So, yesterday I texted her that I was fine...and I really thought I was.

I know T is still available for me to call or email. I know that just because we've gone to every other week, she's not abandoning me. At the same time, I feel like I'm supposed to be able to handle this on my own now. I feel like I told her I was fine, and she thinks I can manage this, so I should be okay and not freaking out. But - I'm NOT fine...I'm dissociating quite a bit. I want to call T for help, but feel like I should be able to get grounded again on my own. I know T would tell me to stop thinking of all the "shoulds" and just do what I need to do for myself. I'm really not sure what I need, though. Do I need T's support right now or do I need to work through this on my own?

Soooooo frustrating!!!

I find that when I call, I almost invariably feel better. If you are trying to limit or quit therapy, try working through it in on your own or with us. If termination isn't your goal, is there a reason to deny yourself the help that your therapist could give you?

Thanks MKAC! That actually helped a ton. Termination is not the goal right now...I was just finding that with weekly sessions, I didn't have much to talk about so my T and I decided that I could try every other week. She's happy to keep me on every other week for as long as I need to...we haven't talked termination at all. I really don't have a good reason to deny myself the help, other than all these "should's" that are floating around in my brain.

call t, you need t and t is there for you, call

Sounds like she would want you to call. She will completely understand how spacing out sessions may require some additional contact in between.

Thanks all. I called and left a message. Hopefully she will call me back fairly soon. I know she'll call back before the end of the day, just not sure when. I know her Weds are super busy.