Called T

If claiming replys are reactions to a trigger because they are not replys one hoPed for then yes it is disrespectful. I don't see any replys to be trigger responses do you?

Perhaps you should consider that those who are triggered aren't responding.

Also, if you read in Sky's post that the responses she got weren't the ones she hoped for, then that is all on you. It's just not written there. She explicitly stated, however, that she feared PC was too public.

I think you are reading too much into intent rather than content.

I would hope that you would give my thoughts some consideration.

I also hope that you would join me in wishing Skye peace and wisdom rather than critiquing what wasn't even written.

Nightsky

Give yourself some grace.

I can relate to many things you wrote in your OP. Trust me, I know "INCREDIBLY complex". Take a deep breath.

During the height of my "incredibly compex" situation, there were multiple T's involved. All of them knew each other on a professional level, a couple were personal friends. It all felt unsafe (and also unfair).

I won't get into the specifics here but I would gently encourage you to see a T who is not referred by your recent one. Consulting the one who T referred is an excellent idea. She will be able to help you find someone who has some distance to the situation. As someone has mentioned, just because she does not accept your insurance does not mean it cannot be filed. In many cases, the T can fill out a superbill and YOU can file it and get reimbursed.

Like you, after therapy ended, I reached out to T. He knew me. We had history, it made sense. T reached back because he cared. He also had regrets (terminating me). It became (EVEN) more painful and hard.

I'm sorry this happened. Whatever you decide, I trust you will know what is best for you.

"...you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think..."-Winnie the Pooh

This is me and I feel a bit ashamed. Thank you for dragging me out of the shadows, elliemay.

nightsky, I'm so sorry all this has happened to you. It's ok to be feeling any and all of the things that you are feeling. It's ok to feel like you need to call him. It's ok if this turns out not to be as final as you thought it was. It's ok if it is final.

Thinking of you often and sending you love

((((((((nightsky))))))))

It's not that I'm triggered, just very surprised because you had what I thought was the best T-relationship I've ever read about, here or anywhere. I still believe that! What this proves is that we are all human, and we make mistakes. But I don't think T purposely meant to destroy your relationship with him; they were just unfortunate circumstances.

I quit my first T abruptly without any kind of closure. She didn't do anything to me but I felt like I had to quit. I wasn't ready to end therapy and the next T I saw helped me process what my first therapy was all about.

I think, because your therapy was so good, so special, so intimate, that in spite of the satisfactory ending you had, that it would be beneficial to process it all with a different T, because I think it's about trust. T sort of betrayed your trust, and that's going to hurt for a while. You're such a special person! You deserve to have this straightened out so you can move forward. I know you're looking for another T. I just want to support you in your search and to say you're not going to replace T. Someone else will be different, and it's okay to miss T for all the good in your therapy with him.

Thinking of you, Dear One.

i agree with what rainbow and we pow said...

thank you to you both!

(((((((((nightsky)))))))))))

Has T called back?
How are you doing hun??