[newyorkcity82]

Hi I am new to this forum and I am seeking therapy since a while now-

last session was a bit stressful for me and it left me with really sad feelings afterwards which I can´t indentify.

I asked my Therapist if it is normal to driffed off in sessions, to become quite and I dont hear anymore what she said and she repeated this 3 times to me.

This happened one time so far and I asked her if this is normal and she didn´t gave me an answer and asked me why I was feeling this way and what i was thinking when I was driffting off- when i was not ok with her answer she said are you angry and do you pick a fight with me ? me : WTF ...I am not fighting with you....her: well i think you do What do you want from me ?

So i am sitting here and wondering what do i wanted from her was I really picking a fight or did I just wanted to hear it is ok to drift off and this is absolutly normal, it can happen and Therapy can be stressful.

Has anyone has similar experience ...any idea´s what she was trying to get out of me ?

Thank you

[newyorkcity82]

Hello i am new here and wanted to share some experience of mine.

Being at Therapy makes me sometimes a bit stressed and last sessions left me extremly upset and i dont know what to think of it.

I asked my Theraist if it is normal to driffed of in a session to think about something else - it happened one time where she had to repeat it 3 times to me to actually hear what she said.

I asked if it normal that this can happen- she didn´t answer me and said it is important to talk about why I asked and then I said i just want an answer and then

she : Are you angry and why do you want to fight with me

me : wtf I dont want to fight at all

she_ what do you want

and then the session was over

what do you think of this and does someone has similar experince to this ?

[ECHOES]

In her experience, some people who drift off are angry, and they don't want to acknowledge that anger, so she asked you about that.

She also asked where you were when you drifted off, as a way of understanding what you were feeling and thinking, what it was that made staying present and communicating seem like not a good idea.

She asked what you want from her also as a way of understanding where your thoughts were when you were drifted off. She wanted to know if you had any ideas about it and about what she could do for you when that happens. (I asked my therapist to ask my point blank why I felt like I needed to stop communicating - my choice of words and my request to her about what she could do.)

Something was there and she was interested in what that was.

All that you posted would be really good to go in and talk about with her next session. "_

[unaluna]

there could be a lot of reasons you "drift off", physical or emotional. I would worry less about trying to read the therapist's mind - especially since they are trying to read your mind at the same time! or at least trying to get a "feel" for what you are experiencing by how it makes THEM feel - so the more you can just concentrate on and SAY whatever you are feeling or thinking - even if it's, "I'm drifting off now" - the better and faster therapy will work.

[KazzaX]

I think your question to the T was fine and reasonable. I'm not sure how she lept (sp?) to the conclusion that you were picking a fight with her just because you pointed out her answer was not sufficient. Maybe she is just a defensive person.

[WikidPissah]

Dang. I hate it when they answer a question with a question. I think the best response from you would be "what I want is for you to tell me whether or not it's normal".
BTW - it pretty much is normal, I drift a bit too. It's important to figure out why you drift, if it's a trigger or if you are simply having difficulty concentrating.

((((((((NYC))))))))))

I've had so many times in therapy when I needed to hear one thing (yes, it's normal, let's talk about why it might be happening) and instead heard another (are you trying to pick a fight?!). Those moments were so frustrating to me...because I *knew* what I needed and didn't know how to get it and it felt like T and I were just missing each other and it felt bad.

For me, it's really hard in the moment to respond in that situation. When I leave, I realize I could have said "no, I'm really not picking a fight, I honestly just wanted to know if it was normal because it's scary" (or whatever)...but in the moment, I used to freeze.

Over time, I got better at saying what I needed to say in the moment, but until then, I would write things down and take them to my next session.

I remember early in my therapy, my T and just TOTALLY missed each other in a moment like that and I felt really upset and wrote to him that weekend about how I felt, what i needed, etc. And when I saw him the next week I read it to him, and he HEARD me, and it was a turning point in my therapy. I realized that I needed to really tell him what I needed, and that if I did, he would hear me, and not be mad. It was huge.

Can you talk to her about it when you see her next time?

one thing I learned FOR SURE over the years is that it was never worth it to try to read his mind. It was impossible for me to not project all of my bad thoughts right into his head and assume he was thinking them about me. And I was pretty much always wrong.

Therapy is hard!!!
to you