For me it is an easy question, I have so much more respect for myself now and realised that I am not the bad person I thought I was.
I have personal boundaries in place now and will never let myself get into an unhealthy relationship again.
It took me a whole year to admit that I was in an unhealthy relationship...poor T was relentless and we spent hours goign over healthy and unhealthy and at one stage when I said I was getting back with my ex she refused to treat me and said it was unethical as I was just going around in circles. Now of course I see that she was right even though it hurt.
I feel now I am able to cope better with the overwhelming emotions better and as my last session with t is coming up next week I have wrote a long detailed letter for her as to how she helped me and how we didnt always see eye to eye but everything she did was for the greater good

[elliemay]

What love is.

[CantExplain]

No to be angry all the time.

[autotelica]

That I'm capable of emotions and genuine interaction. That it is alright to express my wants and opinions. That I'm lovable and capable of loving. That being eccentric isn't necessarily a bad thing, and that there are few absolute rules of how to be a good human being.

[Dreamy01]

That I have choices and can be empowered to find my own way rather than take the path set out by others.

[WikidPissah]

That I am not icky, repulsive and gross.

That no matter what happened in my past, I can see and embrace the beauty and joy that is here, now.

If I knew that I wouldn't have to go to therapy

No, that's not true of course - but I honestly have no idea.

[dismantle.repair]

The person I am is NOT the person I believe myself to be.

Originally Posted by Apteryx

If I knew that I wouldn't have to go to therapy

No, that's not true of course - but I honestly have no idea.

hahaha, lol

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Apteryx

If I knew that I wouldn't have to go to therapy

No, that's not true of course - but I honestly have no idea.

I have no idea either. I hope there is something.

[athena.agathon]

Where do I even start?

With my previous therapist I learned that I'm not bad, that I deserve to be happy as much as anybody else, and that taking care of myself is not selfish. I stopped defaulting to suicidal thoughts every time I felt really terrible. Edited to add "feelings do not mean you have to act."

Now I think the big thing I'm working on is "love"--how it feels, how to show it, and how to accept it from other people...a while back my therapist stopped me and said something like "That's not love, that's fear. Love is not pain--you do know that, right?" And I kind of nodded awkwardly (like, what kind of idiot doesn't know that?), but later I went, "hmmm."

I can totally relate to that! I used to think I know what love is until I started therapy and then I was like, oh that wasn'tove it was fear! Fear

[pbutton]

That I am in charge of my behavior. That I can redirect my thoughts.

Love is not pain

What???

[unaluna]

That i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and dammit people like me.

(thank you stuart smiley)

Originally Posted by pbutton

That I am in charge of my behavior. That I can redirect my thoughts.

This one.

[taylor43]

It's ok to cry!

That I am a good person deserving of love and care.

[Mike_J]

That I'm a good person that deserves to be treated with respect..

Just because my parents abused me and my husband neglected me does not mean that I deserve that... it doesn't mean I am unloveable... I can be sad about it but I do not need to let those feelings change my thoughts about myself.

its not my fault and I can get better.

[Perna]

It (and I) will be okay.

THat someone can know me inside and out....the worst secrets i have... And love me anyway. That is pretty amazing.

That how things have been does not mean it's always going to be that way.

I might have been treated badly, made to feel worthless, convinced that I'm a terrible unlovable person because I'm never good enough...but it does not mean it's true. I've believed that so strongly that I've essentially completely isolated myself assuming that this is it, but my therapist is slowly bringing me out of that mindset by being the most consistently accepting, patient and understanding person I've ever had in my life. And I know it isn't just because he has to be...so if he can be that way, who is to say I can't find that in others, too?