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Young Butterfly
Member Since Jan 2012
Posts: 7,574
12 1,475 hugs
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#1
Okay..I am going back to work in the fall. I will be working at a small private school, where T happens to send one of his kids to (only for two classes).. He knows that I will be working there but haven't really talked about interactions between his son and I or what if they go to a school function (I don't know that they do b/c he only goes there for two classes) and how all that should be handled. I am kind of afraid to bring that part up to him. My husband asked me if that meant I couldn't have him as my T anymore and it freaked me out. Is this just too weird of a situation? Anybody deal with something like this?
__________________ "You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2011
Posts: 1,468
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#2
I've never dealt with anything like this Healed, but I'll betcha anything you and your T will work through this and come up with something that will make you both feel ok with it.
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#3
I would encourage you to speak with you T and let him know how you are feeling and also to share your concerns.
Best wishes Rose |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 892
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#4
I think it might help you feel better if you could talk to your T about it. Good luck with this!
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 458
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#5
i think you should ask your T but i don't think it'll be a big deal. i mean will you actually be teaching his kids? if you do meet at a school function it's not that different than if you met in the supermarket right? you say hello and avoid each other the rest of the time i don't think you will have to stop seeing him as a t.
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#6
It really shouldn't be a problem unless they were actually your students. Unless you go up to them and say, "Hi. I'm your dad's therapy client", they aren't going to know or really care who you are. Is it going to bother you to see them? If so, why? You also mentioned school functions. Again, how bothered are you going to be by seeing your therapist in his dad role?
One of my therapists happened to be my pastor years ago. I saw him constantly outside our sessions in his pastor role and we just kind of had two different modes with each other: the pastor/parishioner relationship and the therapist/client relationship. It really didn't seem to be any big deal. Probably helped that he was my pastor long before he was ever my therapist. We all have to shift roles from environment to environment. I'm teacher in my school, but as soon as I step foot on my sons' campuses I take off my teacher hat and put on my mom hat. Your T needs to be able to do the same. He needs to be able to completely be dad at his kid's school. Will you be able to let him just be dad without feeling jealous or slighted in any way? Last edited by Anonymous32910; Jul 22, 2012 at 07:59 AM.. |
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
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#7
I've had a slightly similar situation and when T showed up at a function I was helping run, I hid and had a friend tell me what she was doing :-)
If his child is part-time and you are not directly in contact (in his class, for example) with the child, then I would not worry about possible contact until it happens. People run into their T's all the time in regular life, at stores, for example. I remember my girlfriend was a teacher and her students would run into her (similar situation as they are teens/children) and I ran into one of my high school teachers when I was in college, he was taking some courses there too! That was awkward It may be awkward but probably won't affect your therapy. Once the interaction is over and you are "safe" again :-) it will actually be kind of nice, like T was actually in your actual life and a "real" person. __________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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Young Butterfly
Member Since Jan 2012
Posts: 7,574
12 1,475 hugs
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#8
I am planning on talking to T next time we have an appointment... There is a possiblity that I will interact with with his child on a limited basis..but not regularly. I am not as worried about seeing T interact with his kids, or anything like that. I think the weirdness of him being my T and saying hi to each other. I am sure it will be fine, just something I need to talk about and get it all on the table on what to expect.
__________________ "You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,489
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#9
I am with you, I would feel most comfortable in interactions if we had pre-arranged what our roles would be. That way you can just "stick to your lines," so to speak. I think most T's will put it in your court to handle as you see fit, so it might be helpful to think ahead of time of how you want to structure the interactions. I hope you feel better about it after the session!
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,340
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#10
I see my T pretty regularly in social situations, we like the same sort of music, and have a mutual friend who is a professional harpist, so we go to a lot of the same concerts. She leaves it up to me to initiate contact or not. I usually do and we just talk about the music, like we were just acquaintances. The first time was a bit awkward, as she introduced me to her partner. She didn't say I was a client, just introduced me. But since that first time, it's been fine.
But I agree with everyone else, have a chat with your T, about how to handle it if you do run into each other at school functions. splitimage |
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