Please help me think this through....

As I have been leaning more on my psychiatrist and my husband for support, my relationship with my t is changing. It sounds so petty, but it revolves around email. She used to always respond - even if not in great detail - to almost all my emails. Within the past few months, however, she may or may not respond. It makes me feel like she is pulling away from me. She has assured me over and over that if I am emailing too much or relying on her too much that she would let me know - and she hasn't said anything at all about the email.

So, I emailed her yesterday about not responding to emails and how that is hurtful, etc. and how I feel like that is contributing to the change I feel in our relationship......and she didn't reply! I don't know what to think. I really, really don't. I mean, the email was about not replying to my emails, and she didn't reply.

I don't expect her to do therapy over email and I realize she has a lot of other clients and a family, etc., but it has really hurt my feelings. Please help me think through this and gain some insight.

Thanks.
Doogie

Maybe she hasn't seen it or had time to write back yet?

I know how you feel. Mine did not answer an email that I felt was important & it really hurt my feelings. He wanted to talk about the email in session though. By that time I was too upset & nothing he said sank in. It took me about a month to work through it enough to email him again. He did write back that time.

Have you brought this up in session? Cos whenever I asked my T, he was always, "I didn't see it, it must have gone to my spam box for some reason." So nothing counts until you bring it up in session, that's their ace in the hole! So - no use getting upset until then, either. They aren't accountable for what happens in email - and really, they shouldn't be. They ARE accountable for what happens in session, face to face - and that is a pretty good deal, really. Who else in your life is THAT accountable?

i think you're jumping to the conclusion that this is personal somehow when there could be any number of reasons she doesn't reply as much, like maybe her workload has increased or she has family issues and simply doesn't have time to check and respond to email as much.

Thanks for the thoughts. It helps. I think it's not the emails per se, but rather her change in behavior. I'm so hypersensitive about the behavior of other people it makes me feel like I've done something wrong or something. Yes, needs to be discussed in session - which I will do tomorrow.

I get that. that's how my mother kept me in line. but I ended up overreacting to her (which she didn't mind, as long as it kept me quiet and out of her way and not asking for stuff and totally afraid of her) - but it doesn't work so good in real life with real people who had absolutely no idea why I was jumping thru invisible hoops, saying sorry all the time, and assuming stuff from their facial expression when they weren't even thinking about me.