[fishsandwich]

I have been in therapy, on and off, for six years now. The most recent round has been three years of psychoanalysis, but in the past I had over a two years of CBT also. Both have done **** all, i.e., they have given me no insights that I didn't already have.

Current T is a nice man and he does keep me going, but I don't want to be just dragged along through my life. I'm tired of that, and I'm tired of being in terrible pain all the time.

Thing is, the way I think about the world is so incredibly different from the norm that I just don't know where to go for different help. All the self-help books I read seem *nice*, but they also seem like they're written for a completely different species. I just can't access the way they work/view the world, somehow. It has been the same for therapy thus far.

It's just . . . I don't know what else to do. I'm beginning to believe there are so few people who experience the world the way I do that there is no help out there for me.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I have been in therapy, on and off, for six years now. The most recent round has been three years of psychoanalysis, but in the past I had over a two years of CBT also. Both have done **** all, i.e., they have given me no insights that I didn't already have.

Current T is a nice man and he does keep me going, but I don't want to be just dragged along through my life. I'm tired of that, and I'm tired of being in terrible pain all the time.

Thing is, the way I think about the world is so incredibly different from the norm that I just don't know where to go for different help. All the self-help books I read seem *nice*, but they also seem like they're written for a completely different species. I just can't access the way they work/view the world, somehow. It has been the same for therapy thus far.

It's just . . . I don't know what else to do. I'm beginning to believe there are so few people who experience the world the way I do that there is no help out there for me.

Have you tried medication?

What do you think about taking a break from therapy and see how things go on your own?

Or maybe consider a radically different type of therapy?

[fishsandwich]

I will absolutely never go near a medication again in my life. I was lied to about the efficacy of psychiatric drugs, labelled a completely unfounded and unscientific diagnosis that obliterated my life, then assaulted and forcibly drugged when I refused to drug myself. What those "doctors" did to me is the main reason I'm in therapy.

I have taken breaks from therapy, but it doesn't go well. I'm better when I've got someone around, and therapy seems to be the way to do that. I live on my own in a foreign country, so highly supportive people are pretty hard to come by.

I'm not really sure what other radical kinds of therapy are out there. I'm looking into bodywork, but honestly it's very difficult to find a therapist that doesn't require access to medical records (which I won't allow) and who will agree not to report me to psychiatrists in the event that they assume I will harm myself. (Not that it matters, but I can accept a duty to report a threat of harm to others--just not to myself.)

So, Fishsandwich... If I'm reading this right, you were diagnosed with something you don't agree with. Why not approach it from that angle. Like, Hey I was labelled once and I disagree...maybe T can help you find a better reason for your different take on life. As far as hurting yourself and a T not reporting it, sorry but If I were T Id feel obligated- morally, legally and ethically. I mean would you want someone doing that to themselves on your watch? Can you give a few examples of how you see things so differently.

BTW love the name

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I have been in therapy, on and off, for six years now. The most recent round has been three years of psychoanalysis, but in the past I had over a two years of CBT also. Both have done **** all, i.e., they have given me no insights that I didn't already have.

Current T is a nice man and he does keep me going, but I don't want to be just dragged along through my life. I'm tired of that, and I'm tired of being in terrible pain all the time.

Thing is, the way I think about the world is so incredibly different from the norm that I just don't know where to go for different help. All the self-help books I read seem *nice*, but they also seem like they're written for a completely different species. I just can't access the way they work/view the world, somehow. It has been the same for therapy thus far.

It's just . . . I don't know what else to do. I'm beginning to believe there are so few people who experience the world the way I do that there is no help out there for me.

My analyst encourages me to look for signals or clues when these times happen. Where did it start, what is it about, what keeps you from being able to do what you want to do about it. Your post sounds like you are on the precipice of something, maybe taking more control in some or in different ways, etc. Like a new part of your voice is being heard.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

So, Fishsandwich... If I'm reading this right, you were diagnosed with something you don't agree with. Why not approach it from that angle. Like, Hey I was labelled once and I disagree...maybe T can help you find a better reason for your different take on life. As far as hurting yourself and a T not reporting it, sorry but If I were T Id feel obligated- morally, legally and ethically. I mean would you want someone doing that to themselves on your watch? Can you give a few examples of how you see things so differently.

BTW love the name

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia . . . right after I was sectioned (that is a UK word for compulsory treatment, not sure what the US equivalent is) because I was hearing voices and refused to take drugs for it (sectioning for which is contrary to UK law, but eh), but then I was raped by two nurses. That seems to have sparked off years of sections, being in and out of hospitals, drugs and electoshocks against my will . . . the whole shebang, really.
I have a whole different thread on this in the schizophrenia forum, but I recently filed suit against the docs who labelled and treated me, for clinical negligence. I got ahold of my medical records as part of the suit and they were NOT pretty . . . I have a very strong case against them, both in the opinion of the solicitor advising me and in my own professional judgment. (I'm a barrister now, whee.)

I believe that harming myself is my own prerogative, frankly. There are lots of things that people do that can potentially cause harm (or indeed, are known harms) -- drinking, illicit drugs, tobacco use, poor dietary habits, lack of exercise, extreme sport, etc. . . . but none of that ends you up in psychiatric facilities (except possibly the illicit drugs). It's highly imbalanced and illogical. I don't actually harm myself, I just won't accept a therapist who would be willing to report me to the people who so callously abused me and quite honestly obliterated the life I had for myself.

Hrm, as for how I see the world so differently . . . I'm not sure how to explain. Perhaps how I view "self-harm" is one of them, I don't know. In law school I was always the lady with these crazy ideas that were extremely creative and actually made sense legally, but that nobody had ever really thought of before. I got published a lot because I was so good at coming up with extremely new ideas about the law, but I actually didn't do well on the degree because I just could NOT understand the bog standard analysis I was meant to regurgitate on the examinations. It actually confused me; I'd sit in the lecturer's offices near to tears trying so hard to understand what to everybody else was blindingly obvious.

I have spiritual beliefs that the psychiatrists called "bizarre" and "psychotic", like I can feel other people's energies and intuit how they are feeling. (I don't claim to be able to read minds or anything! I can just tell when people are frazzled or ill or unwell.) I hear voices and they just don't bother me at all, which I guess is pretty different. I also don't let ANYTHING go; it's not that I don't want to, I just can't . . . or have not been able so far. I remember everything (except the memories the electroshocks wiped out), often to extreme and bizarre levels. It really prevents me moving on from a lot of the trauma, the memory, I guess.

Anyway, sorry. I didn't mean to write quite so much!

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

My analyst encourages me to look for signals or clues when these times happen. Where did it start, what is it about, what keeps you from being able to do what you want to do about it. Your post sounds like you are on the precipice of something, maybe taking more control in some or in different ways, etc. Like a new part of your voice is being heard.

I don't know, there's a lot of big stuff happening in my life right now. I have to fight down a few more barriers that were put in my way by psychiatry, and I am completely worn out by that. Tired of panic attacks from the trauma, too.

I'm not really sure what you mean about "signals" and "clues". Signals and clues to what?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

Tired of panic attacks from the trauma, too.

Have you done any work on this ^ in therapy?

[geez]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I will absolutely never go near a medication again in my life. I was lied to about the efficacy of psychiatric drugs, labelled a completely unfounded and unscientific diagnosis that obliterated my life, then assaulted and forcibly drugged when I refused to drug myself. What those "doctors" did to me is the main reason I'm in therapy.

I have taken breaks from therapy, but it doesn't go well. I'm better when I've got someone around, and therapy seems to be the way to do that. I live on my own in a foreign country, so highly supportive people are pretty hard to come by.

I'm not really sure what other radical kinds of therapy are out there. I'm looking into bodywork, but honestly it's very difficult to find a therapist that doesn't require access to medical records (which I won't allow) and who will agree not to report me to psychiatrists in the event that they assume I will harm myself. (Not that it matters, but I can accept a duty to report a threat of harm to others--just not to myself.)

I'm not sure why you were drugged against your will unless you were out of sorts and brought to the hospital? It sounds like you are not in a hospital situation so how about talking to a Psychiatrist and trying a drug? One at a low dose and see how it goes? My husband is/was anti drug for years and I along with our children suffered from his anxiety 'episodes'. Thankfully after him losing 20lbs and not eating he decided he would try some anti anxiety drugs and it's made all the difference in the world. Drugs aren't the full answer but have helped tremendously. Now if I could convince my husband to go to therapy that would help even more.

I hope you can find a T you can trust and connect with and you allow yourself the opportunity to try a different approach and take a leap of faith even though it's probably the last thing you feel like doing.

Wishing you wellness.


PS - have you looked into a T that specializes in trauma? I have a new T that specializes in that. I have also read about attachment when it comes to people in therapy that have dealt with trauma. People with trauma and attachment issues are difficult to treat from the therapist perspective....http://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Avoidan.../ref=pd_ybh_15
From what I have read (and what my current T has told me) it's a long road - not something my husband was happy to hear about as therapy isn't cheap.

JUST READ MORE OF WHAT YOU POSTED.... SEE NEXT POSTING

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Have you done any work on this ^ in therapy?

Yep, it doesn't seem to change much. All the Ts I have seen have stressed removing myself from the danger . . . except that doesn't really work when the danger is psychiatry, a large, well-accepted and institutionalised system.

[geez]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia . . .

Many hugs ((fishsandwich))

My brother has schizophrenia (paranoid schizophrenic) and is among the 10% of that population that never will appear 'normal' even on drugs. Even with medication he still hears voices but it's not as bad as it was without him being on meds (he was completely out of touch with reality 24/7 - think of an acid trip that never ends). There were some scary moments growing up in my house before he received treatment (he thought my younger brother was possessed by the devil and thought my brother was evil and out to get him hence his tenancies for physical aggression). My parents took him to a psychiatrist and they were told if he doesn't go to a hospital on a scale from 1 - 10 he was a 10 for causing physical harm to himself or someone else. He was hospitalized for 6 weeks and thankfully didn't have the experience you wrote about. Unfortunately the drugs he is on are always being changed. It's basically a 'drug cocktail'. A little bit of this leads to that etc.... because there is so little that they do know and everyone responds to meds differently.

Schizophrenia runs in my family... my grandmother had it and a few distant cousins. Typically (statistically) most people know of maybe one out of a hundred people with the disease. My family/ancestry was studied by a NY university surrounding the subject of Schizophrenia. I know of 5 in my family with the disease so I am worried for my boys.

Schizophrenia is such an awful disease that today they are still trying to figure it out. And then for you to have trauma layered on top of that?!
I hope you can find a place of healing and someone you can learn to trust. Trust takes time.

[Sannah]

Have you ever talked in detail in session about the traumas so that you could release your feelings from it? This diffuses the panic attacks.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by geez

I'm not sure why you were drugged against your will unless you were out of sorts and brought to the hospital?

There is no reason in law, that's why I filed a clinical negligence suit. Once I prove clinical negligence, I can press criminal charges for assault and wrongful imprisonment, which I fully intend to do.

Originally Posted by geez

It sounds like you are not in a hospital situation so how about talking to a Psychiatrist and trying a drug? One at a low dose and see how it goes? My husband is/was anti drug for years and I along with our children suffered from his anxiety 'episodes'.

I'm not sure how much more clear I can make myself. I will not have anything to do with psychiatry. I am anti-psychiatry in every sense of the term -- will never go to them for help; will never drug myself. Since I got out of that system, I have spent my life fighting them, even to the extent that I qualified as a lawyer so I can help people get off their "medications". I was assaulted and tortured by psychiatry and I will not be inviting that back into my life, certainly not just for the alleged pleasure of drugging myself.

Originally Posted by geez

I hope you can find a T you can trust and connect with and you allow yourself the opportunity to try a different approach and take a leap of faith even though it's probably the last thing you feel like doing.

It's not that I don't connect with the Ts, it's that they do nothing to help and have no real insights. I'm not really sure how to describe that. I feel perfectly fine with my current T, trust him, can tell him anything . . . it's just that nothing in his system seems to make things feel better.

Originally Posted by geez

Wishing you wellness.

Thanks

Originally Posted by geez

PS - have you looked into a T that specializes in trauma? I have a new T that specializes in that. I have also read about attachment when it comes to people in therapy that have dealt with trauma. People with trauma and attachment issues are difficult to treat from the therapist perspective....http://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Avoidan.../ref=pd_ybh_15
From what I have read (and what my current T has told me) it's a long road - not something my husband was happy to hear about as therapy isn't cheap.

Current T specialises in trauma, yes. He's part of a circle of academic psychologists that specialise in people who have suffered medical/professional abuse.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by geez

Many hugs ((fishsandwich))

My brother has schizophrenia (paranoid schizophrenic) and is among the 10% of that population that never will appear 'normal' even on drugs. Even with medication he still hears voices but it's not as bad as it was without him being on meds (he was completely out of touch with reality 24/7 - think of an acid trip that never ends). There were some scary moments growing up in my house before he received treatment. My parents took him to a psychiatrist and they were told if he doesn't go to a hospital on a scale from 1 - 10 he was a 10 for causing physical harm to himself or someone else. He was hospitalized for 6 weeks and thankfully didn't have the experience you wrote about. Unfortunately the drugs he is on are always being changed. It's basically a 'drug cocktail'. A little bit of this leads to that etc.... because there is so little that they do know and everyone responds to meds differently.

Schizophrenia runs in my family... my grandmother had it and a few distant cousins. Typically (statistically) most people know of maybe one out of a hundred people with the disease. My family/ancestry was studied by a NY university surrounding the subject of Schizophrenia. I know of 5 in my family with the disease so I am worried for my boys.

Schizophrenia is such an awful disease that today they are still trying to figure it out. And then for you to have trauma layered on top of that?!
I hope you can find a place of healing and someone you can learn to trust. Trust takes time.
:

I don't have schizophrenia though, that's the thing. I hear voices and was raped by nurses during the diagnostic process. I know I sound like a paranoid schizophrenic when I say I don't have schizophrenia, but . . . yeah. Not much more I can say to that, really.
Hearing voices on its own doesn't amount to a sz diagnosis. I am fully functional without drugs and show no signs of what they call "schizophrenia", I'm just not happy or achieving at the levels I was before the psychiatric assaults and the rapes.

[wotchermuggle]

Wow, this is so seriously complicated. It sounds like the therapist you have is a good person for you to be with therapeutically since they are familiar with the road you're treading.

Not that I subscribe to it, but what about some CBT or meditation techniques?

What is your therapy like? You said you can tell your T anything, but is it because you're so detached from it and feel no emotion other than possibly anger?

I was just thinking that maybe you haven't fully opened yourself up about everything on a deeper emotional level? Not that crying in therapy is the be all and end all or anything.

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. So terrible.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

Wow, this is so seriously complicated.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
I imagine it's part of the reason I find it so hard to find therapy that works. I see a lot of therapists for an assessment and just end up freaking them out -- they want me to go right back on the drugs and can't see beyond that.

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

It sounds like the therapist you have is a good person for you to be with therapeutically since they are familiar with the road you're treading.

Not that I subscribe to it, but what about some CBT or meditation techniques?

I've done CBT in the past and was heavily involved in mediation for a few years. Need to get back into the latter, though the former just doesn't work for me. I feel like I am hitting a brick wall every time I try it, it just works so radically different from how I do.

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

What is your therapy like? You said you can tell your T anything, but is it because you're so detached from it and feel no emotion other than possibly anger?

Honestly, it's come to a point where I just go and rant for an hour and then he makes some small talk and I leave. This is why I don't feel like it's helping. It feels like (and he has admitted this) he has totally exhausted all the ideas he has and nothing has been of much use.

I don't really know "how" to be vulnerable, but I certainly have cried a lot and told him all about the horrible things I've done in my life and how hurt I am. It certainly hasn't got me anywhere.

ETA: I thought of an illustration. I'm asexual and had wanted to be celibate for my whole life. The rapes had a devastating impact on me because I valued being a virgin so highly. I should also add that while fluent, English isn't my first language and I have trouble expressing some of the nuance I want to convey. I went to him for a year telling him that I wouldn't be OK unless I was a virgin again . . . which I know is impossible and not the right way to describe what I feel, I just don't have another way to put it. I used up a good year of biweekly sessions describing to him exactly what I wanted "healing" to feel like as best I could, but he still had nothing. I spent a year describing to him what goal I had -- not working to finding a way there, or even to finding alternatives. He didn't even respond, he just sat there staring out the window for most of those sessions. So I gave up talking to him about the rapes.

[fishsandwich]

Another thing.

The T I see is trained/qualified, but is currently in academia and not clinical practice. He does a lot of things that really push the boundary of therapist/client. We meet in coffee shops several times a week (he doesn't have a consulting room except for one day each week), he tells me about his life, introduced me to some of his friends, waited with me before my bar exams, etc. I don't mind it -- in a lot of ways it's actually more helpful than traditional therapy -- it just means that I feel obliged to continue seeing him as he's given me so much free time.

ETA: He's got grandchildren my age and has never done anything even remotely untoward. It's not some kind of twisted thing, I just think he's highly unconventional.

[geez]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

I don't have schizophrenia though, that's the thing. I hear voices and was raped by nurses during the diagnostic process. I know I sound like a paranoid schizophrenic when I say I don't have schizophrenia, but . . . yeah. Not much more I can say to that, really.
Hearing voices on its own doesn't amount to a sz diagnosis. I am fully functional without drugs and show no signs of what they call "schizophrenia", I'm just not happy or achieving at the levels I was before the psychiatric assaults and the rapes.

!!Thank goodness!!
Is there another type of psychological issue/diagnosis for hearing voices outside of schizophrenia? (I'm not versed in all the diseases etc...) My husband when dealing with anxiety would hear things. Not voices but sounds.

ALSO

Have you been evaluated by a neurologist? Perhaps there is something physically going on with your brain that no one is aware of?

It sounds like you are 'detached' - things can get lost in translation online so if I'm reading your statement wrong sorry. So sorry you are going through this.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by geez

Is there another type of psychological issue/diagnosis for hearing voices outside of schizophrenia? (I'm not versed in all the diseases etc...) My husband when dealing with anxiety would hear things. Not voices but sounds.

ALSO

Have you been evaluated by a neurologist? Perhaps there is something physically going on with your brain that no one is aware of?

So sorry you are going through this.

I don't even mind the voices. I've always heard them, probably always will (even the druggings did not make them go away), and they're not frightening or dangerous. There is probably a diagnosis for hearing voices that is not sz -- there's a diagnosis for everything, as far as I can tell -- I'm just really not bothered.
I don't even go to medical doctors now, eh. I don't think I've ever seen a neurologist, but I honestly don't care to seek out the cause of the voices/other psychotic symptoms I have. I never have! The first time I was sectioned, I had actually gone into normal hospital with a tropical disease I picked up in Morocco (a non-hallucinatory one). I got transferred to the psych ward against my consent.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by fishsandwich

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
I imagine it's part of the reason I find it so hard to find therapy that works. I see a lot of therapists for an assessment and just end up freaking them out -- they want me to go right back on the drugs and can't see beyond that.


I've done CBT in the past and was heavily involved in mediation for a few years. Need to get back into the latter, though the former just doesn't work for me. I feel like I am hitting a brick wall every time I try it, it just works so radically different from how I do.


Honestly, it's come to a point where I just go and rant for an hour and then he makes some small talk and I leave. This is why I don't feel like it's helping. It feels like (and he has admitted this) he has totally exhausted all the ideas he has and nothing has been of much use.

I don't really know "how" to be vulnerable, but I certainly have cried a lot and told him all about the horrible things I've done in my life and how hurt I am. It certainly hasn't got me anywhere.

ETA: I thought of an illustration. I'm asexual and had wanted to be celibate for my whole life. The rapes had a devastating impact on me because I valued being a virgin so highly. I should also add that while fluent, English isn't my first language and I have trouble expressing some of the nuance I want to convey. I went to him for a year telling him that I wouldn't be OK unless I was a virgin again . . . which I know is impossible and not the right way to describe what I feel, I just don't have another way to put it. I used up a good year of biweekly sessions describing to him exactly what I wanted "healing" to feel like as best I could, but he still had nothing. I spent a year describing to him what goal I had -- not working to finding a way there, or even to finding alternatives. He didn't even respond, he just sat there staring out the window for most of those sessions. So I gave up talking to him about the rapes.

Maybe this is a bit backwards but have you ever considered being the therapist that you need, to others? Would that help you on your path to healing more?

I say this is backwards because I wouldn't want a therapist to "use" me to help themselves get better, but maybe the training/study would be something to help work your way through what you're going through?

I am seriously at a loss as to what to suggest, but I want to find your some way of getting on the path to healing.

I hear you about the virginity issue. I was saving myself for my husband. It was based on a Christian values, but also my own person feelings of saving that part of myself for whomever I'd be spending my life with. Mine was taking from me too and it literally leaves you feeling like you have this gaping hole that you can't fill. You can't fix or take back what happened but it's hard to move on too.

I would find the relationship you have with your therapist very difficult because the lines of the therapeutic relationship are so blurred.

What about seeing a different therapist but not laying down your full history on day one? I've had some of the issues you've described (when I get really depressed, I hear music, not voices) and I'm not concerned about it at all. It wasn't something I disclosed to my therapist until later on though because I know what it looks like from the other side.

[fishsandwich]

Hrm, that's a very interesting idea! I may start by just reading therapy textbooks as I really can't afford (or tolerate!) any more schooling right now. But thank you, that is very interesting.

[anilam]

First let me say that I'm really sorry you'd been mistreated and abused by the ppl who were supposed to take care of you.
I pay for my T, there's no way he has access to my medical papers, address... Come to think of it he doesn't even know whether or not I'd told him my real name (yeah I did).
So no, there's no way he can report me when I'm suicidal. He just had to deal with that- not anymore but there were times when he simply didn't know if I would come back for a next session. I really appreciate that and know that many T would not be able to do this for their clients (I wouldn't for sure). Yet I've needed that, I need to know that my body is under my sole control and that sharing my thoughts/feelings with someone else doesn't mean I'd have to share that control too.
I live in Germany but I think once you'll pay for your therapy there's no need for authorities/insurance/whatever to know about it.

[WikidPissah]

Hey FishSandwich, you and I have spoken in detail about this before. I don't know why the world has to label and medicate every person who does not fall into their predetermined category of normal. I hope that you win your law suits, and that the hospitals and docs pay for the damage they have done. They tried to put that same label on me too.

I am not managing my anxiety well at all, and I most likely will be trying to find a t who is an anxiety specialist who doesn't believe in drugs. "Trauma therapy" doesn't work for me, and I am not willing to spend hours and hours revisiting crap that happened a million years ago.

I know you are tight with your t, but I think that you are realizing that you need a different approach. I really hope you find something that fits better.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by anilam

First let me say that I'm really sorry you'd been mistreated and abused by the ppl who were supposed to take care of you.
I pay for my T, there's no way he has access to my medical papers, address... Come to think of it he doesn't even know whether or not I'd told him my real name (yeah I did).
So no, there's no way he can report me when I'm suicidal. He just had to deal with that- not anymore but there were times when he simply didn't know if I would come back for a next session. I really appreciate that and know that many T would not be able to do this for their clients (I wouldn't for sure). Yet I've needed that, I need to know that my body is under my sole control and that sharing my thoughts/feelings with someone else doesn't mean I'd have to share that control too.
I live in Germany but I think once you'll pay for your therapy there's no need for authorities/insurance/whatever to know about it.

Thanks I do pay for my therapy, though many paid therapists here still require you to give permission for them to access your medical records and will still report threats of harm to doctors. It's made life really tough.

[fishsandwich]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

Hey FishSandwich, you and I have spoken in detail about this before. I don't know why the world has to label and medicate every person who does not fall into their predetermined category of normal. I hope that you win your law suits, and that the hospitals and docs pay for the damage they have done. They tried to put that same label on me too.

The suit is wearing me out! I'm also kind of resenting the world right now. Why do I get to sue? It's just because I'm a lawyer myself and have the connections and the knowledge. So many people have been so much more hurt and abused by psychiatry -- had their entire lives wasted on these drugs -- and they can't do anything about it.

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

I am not managing my anxiety well at all, and I most likely will be trying to find a t who is an anxiety specialist who doesn't believe in drugs. "Trauma therapy" doesn't work for me, and I am not willing to spend hours and hours revisiting crap that happened a million years ago.

I know you are tight with your t, but I think that you are realizing that you need a different approach. I really hope you find something that fits better.

I don't really think any therapy works for me, honestly :-/ I don't really spend the sessions going through what happened ages ago, but really I don't spend the sessions doing anything! I really hope I can find a bodywork therapist that can do something more for me; I'd really like to try that out.