[struggling2]

im curious in what ways your T's have "showed up" for you during difficult times when you were really really leaning on them. what is that like?

im about to confront/question my dad about CSA and even though ive been seeing her for about 1.5yrs ive never really reallllllyyyyy let her in. ive never called her in desperation because im falling apart or ive never allowed myself to need her outside of sessions and I think i'm about to as I venture into this difficult area with my parents. i think she's the only person im going to be able to turn to....the only person whose going to be able to comprehend, handle, and guide me through it.

i guess what im asking is......what does total falling apart in the middle of a crisis look like? for those of you that have been there.....how has your T "showed up" for you during those times? i think im trying to keep my morale high by asking for "comforting stories"?

[kiki86]

hard to say really. i started phoning my T outside of sessions when i had a really difficult time. he was always just really kind and gentle on the phone with me. never made me feel like i was bothering, would tell me to call whenever i needed to. and when i took a (small) overdose he said he'd feel better if i went to a&e just to check my bloods and he called ahead to make sure i wouldn't have any trouble with the doctor there. then he phoned me the next day to see how i was doing.

i mean i dunno, it's hard for them to do much more than that. at least with my t anyway. from what other people have said the T's at my service are much stricter than some others.

[Hope-Full]

My T is just a rock for me. I'm not sure how to describe it. We don't do email, and texts are only initiated by T, and usually only for schedule changes.

But on the rare occasion that I have been in crisis and I actually reach out to T, T has responded wonderfully - sending a simple text that says a million supportive things in just a few words. T knows I cherish these texts and T strictly limits them for crisis times (or scheduling, which are no big deal to me,) which over the past nearly two years, I've gotten 3 of these special texts.

There was one occasion where T was so concerned with how I was doing when I left my appointment, that T called and we scheduled an additional time to meet because T did not want me to go the usual time between appointments.

There are times, especially crisis times, where I wish T would email, but that is not something T allows with any clients. Then I remind myself of all that I've read from those waiting for an email reply from their T, and I am reminded how it is probably better for me that T not email.

I guess just by Ts action and stability, I know that if there is a true crisis, and I were to call and leave T a message asking for a call back, or anything, really, T would be there.

My T (and my pdoc for that matter) has been my rock during my frequent depressive episodes and hospitalizations. He makes room in his schedule to see me more frequently when I'm unwell and he simplifies the decision-making process for me when I'm overwhelmed about what I need to do. We don't email or text (I wouldn't want to), but he is available at all times via phone if I need his help.

[Towanda]

I dissociated once at home - totally unresponsive, frozen - he spent half an hour on the phone with my husband and daughter - helping them bring me back to being able to talk, move again, then gave hubby his cell phone # and told him to call any hour day/night if it happened again.

Another time I SI in my car in his parking lot after a session. He noticed my car was still there, came out, asked me if I needed to be hospitalized, walked me back inside and cancelled his next client so he could talk with me until the ambulance got there. He was calm, warm and caring when I was frightened and so upset I could barely talk.

I've been with him six years. In the early years, I threatened suicide/self harm several times, and he was always available by phone to talk me through the crisis. He was comforting, soft spoken, never judgmental and always managed to talk me down.

There have been more instances like this - he's never let me down. He's ALWAYS been available when I've reached out in a crisis. And in letting me be dependent in the early years, I learned what it felt like to trust, to be vulnerable. This led to opening up my past, and eventual healing. And yes, I also dealt with CSA - he was my rock, my safe place during this entire journey. I knew he would be because of the way he dealt with these other situations - with tact, caring and compassion.

[healed84]

Well, for me crisis always involved panick attacks.. when started getting to be multiple times a day is when I started calling T outside of sessions. He would ask me what is going on and then give me ideas of ways to calm down and then make sure I was scheduled soon to see him.

he shows me by telling me to come once a week, and then takes the time to make the appt for me every week; (he has a receptionist and a office manager) i hate the office window and he knows this so he gets his appt book and brings it into his office so i don't have to go to the window.

"i have faith in you" he told me this once when i was feeling sui.

"you can always call me" no texts or emails

and then two weeks ago, i literally ran out of a session~ i got triggered really bad and when i got home he had called asking me to come back again the next night because he thought it was important for us to talk again. i did and rupture repaired!