[wotchermuggle]

Do you ever spend the week trying to figure out how you're going to bring up, talk about, approach, or discuss the difficult topics, only to go to your session and either act like everything is fine, or say everything is fine?

[Dreamy01]

Oh yes. I've done this quite a lot. Usually it's a defence mechanism.

All the time- its such a waste of energy

[kiki86]

every time. exT said it took most of the session to get me to open up. i go in acting like i'm there for coffee and a chat. "oh i'm grand, how are you" etc. i don't know why i do it. i just can't seem to bring myself to talk about the important things. i think we both just need to force ourselves.

Yes... but now, while those things are spinning around my head, I write them down and email them to T... it means I don't have to try and remember what I wanted to say, it helps get the thoughts out and away from me, and I think she gets a clearer idea of what's going on - and a more 'in the moment' version, instead of what may be a more measured response given upon reflection...

Not so much. As soon as I see him in the reception area, I am all business

*Although, I do commence with the pleasantries when we sit down (I really am sincere; though, I know he won't tell me anything other than good or fine or meh).

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

Not so much. As soon as I see him in the reception area, I am all business

*Although, I do commence with the pleasantries when we sit down (I really am sincere; though, I know he won't tell me anything other than good or fine or meh).

Haha....I can relate. I always ask my T what is new, how was the weekend, and I never get anything, but I always ask

[Wren_]

not so much the acting fine; but i do end up talking about things other than what I'd wanted to a lot of the time
is the acting fine what you've been doing some (or a lot?) of lately?

[wotchermuggle]

I've been in therapy for a long time, but it's still hard to have the time focussed on me. It honestly feels selfish. I know that probably sounds backwards.

[trdleblue]

I really don't do much small talk, but whenever my T asks how I am, or how my week was I say fine. It doesn't matter how I actually feel. I am always fine. I am also the queen of waiting until the last few minutes to bring up anything big.

If i try to act like everything is fine, my T knows that something huge must be going on that i am trying to hide, and she works all the harder to dig it out of me.

[Victoria'smom]

I've been very up front of how I 'hide'. 7 page cheat sheet. Now I can't get away with anything! Saying 'I'm fine.' leads to a billion and one questions that I can't just shrug to. I do write notes and keep a detailed mood/event/thought chart w/ notes and hours slept. So she knows exact how bad/good I'm doing. I would at least take notes at the end of the day.

Originally Posted by trdleblue

I really don't do much small talk, but whenever my T asks how I am, or how my week was I say fine. It doesn't matter how I actually feel. I am always fine. I am also the queen of waiting until the last few minutes to bring up anything big.

Doesn't that always happen! Last 10 minutes, pure gold...

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

Do you ever spend the week trying to figure out how you're going to bring up, talk about, approach, or discuss the difficult topics, only to go to your session and either act like everything is fine, or say everything is fine?

on the contrary; I am spending my week trying to figure out how I am going to credibly act like everything is fine, when both of us know it isn't so.

what do you recommend?!

[autotelica]

Yes, I do lots of planning. I always have a bunch of questions stored in my head to ask her. I always think I'm just going to use the hour to pick her brain.

And then I get there and she starts the session off with something unexpected, and my "script" gets thrown out of the window.

One thing that I like about my therapist is that she NEVER asks how I'm doing. I don't know if this is intentional or not, but it is a huge relief not to have to hear it. It is way too easy to automatically say "I'm fine", if only because the truth is too complicated. Plus, I don't like starting the session with serious stuff. I need a little chit-chat to loosen me up, I think.