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  #26  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 05:44 PM
Anonymous32765
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emptty View Post
Thanks button(and everyone else).

Even though I recognize I'm not in a very good situation, I'm happy to say this hasn't been that bad. Leaving will be bad but the relationship and sexual involvement doesn't seem to have bothered/hurt too much.

Calling it abuse makes me cringe because it really wasn't "bad"... I guess it wasn't/isn't good either
I don't mean abuse as in sexual I mean he abused his power more than anything as you were both consenting adults but its your situation, so you can call it what you like
Is there anyone in your life you could talk to about this in RL? It might help until you found a new T.

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  #27  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 05:50 PM
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Emptty Emptty is offline
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Gonna be hard to leave
  #28  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 05:53 PM
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Mike_J Mike_J is offline
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Never had to leave a therapist (only had one) but I know I will have to sometime soon, and it hurts so much I don't like to even think about it.

One thing you could look into is peer support groups, both DBSA and NAMI have groups all around the county (and there are other groups) they are free and at least for me have been very helpful.
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“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi
  #29  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 05:58 PM
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Emptty Emptty is offline
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There's no one in RL I can talk to. I'm basically alone without T. I've been working overtime to pay for college books so I haven't really met anyone new, except the men I'm involved with and they don't give a **** about my problems. I don't have many 'good' friends. At my age everyones dumb and on drugs... the 'friends' I have are useless so I guess they're not real friends. They couldn't help me. I do wish I had someone... might make it easier
  #30  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 08:56 PM
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critterlady critterlady is offline
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**** trigger warning for mention of CSA and r*** ****

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emptty View Post
Even though I recognize I'm not in a very good situation, I'm happy to say this hasn't been that bad. Leaving will be bad but the relationship and sexual involvement doesn't seem to have bothered/hurt too much.

Calling it abuse makes me cringe because it really wasn't "bad"... I guess it wasn't/isn't good either

Emptty, one of the most common reactions of abuse survivors is to minimize their experience and its effects. I did it for almost 40 years after my abuse ended. I was abused (my therapist calls it rape) from 13 to 14 by a man in his 30s. At the time, I thought of it as an "affair." I thought it did me no harm and that I was responsible for it. I continued to think that until about a year ago.

When I realized how my defenses were failing and how much they'd kept me from having in my life, I decided I needed to learn more about how what happened affected me. I started therapy. Until very recently, I continued to believe that it wasn't that bad and that it didn't hurt me too much.

It was a classic case of minimizing. I told my whole story to T and then spent the next 3 sessions telling him it wasn't that bad and that I was just being a drama queen. He looked me in the eye and said "This is how serious I think this was. You were raped. That's how bad it was." That hit me right between the eyes.

So, I know how it feels to have to change how you've thought about something for a long time. It's awful. It changes everything. But it doesn't make it less true to not face the reality.

Last edited by critterlady; Aug 12, 2012 at 09:08 PM. Reason: ETA trigger warning
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Thanks for this!
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