[~EnlightenMe~]

I need a shirt saying, I've been Terminated and Survived the first Day.

Granted, it was a mutual termination, a mutual understanding that the relationship had taken me as far as it could. But it is still sad.

[CantExplain]

I can't imagine ever "getting as far as I can".
I don't expect to exhaust my T relationship in my lifetime.

(((hugs))) you are the terminator so you need a t shirt saying I will be back! Haha, sorry I couldn't resist! Termination sucks, I was terminated last month and it was so hard, ours wasn't mutual, I wanted more as I thought we had loads more to do but she thought differently! But it's not the end, maybe you could find a new t, I did and it is working out better than previous t, by that I mean progress wise! I still miss her so much and think about her everyday but that was not helping of heal in fact Hayward making everything worse and I guess deep down t knew that!

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I can't imagine ever "getting as far as I can".
I don't expect to exhaust my T relationship in my lifetime.

Lucky for you that your therapist and you are a good fit. It doesn't always go that way, and some therapeutic relationships reach the end of their usefulness before the client has finished needing therapy... as in it has "taken me as far as it can," like Antimatter described the experience.

I don't even want to think about that day of termination for me.
It's strange though, I want to quit going, but I dread not
going.

It sounds like you are perhaps strong enough to go it alone.
You can always find another T, if need be.
Sorry for your loss, though.
Good luck.

Best Wishes,

[stopdog]

It is often a rough transition even when mutual. I hope you can be gentle with yourself as you process through the sadness.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Even though it was mutual, I am sure it must have been hard.

[WikidPissah]

Sorry you are going thru this difficult time. Termination is quite painful, even when mutual. I am probably doing the same thing today myself.

(((((((AntiMatter)))))))

I *know* how hard that has to be for you.

Please let us know how you're doing. PM if you want.

Lots of hugs to you

Originally Posted by Antimatter

I need a shirt saying, I've been Terminated and Survived the first Day.

Granted, it was a mutual termination, a mutual understanding that the relationship had taken me as far as it could. But it is still sad.

How about "Mutual , smutual... I've graduated to T2"

I know its hard honey...keep posting we will be here. I had a "mutual" termination, as in she fired me after I kept telling her I needed to quit. It gets better... the T's get better, we get better.

[pbutton]

It is VERY hard. I'm going on 3 weeks now and had a moment of complete despair this morning. Hang in there.

[sunrise]

That was very brave (and also healthy) of you to go to our session to terminate once you had decided it was over. With my first T, I never terminated, I just stopped going. (I was very emotionally avoidant.) So kudos to you for being very mature and going to end things in person. It is still painful for the person who does the terminating. You will have some grief...

FWIW, my 2nd and current T has been a real keeper. We have done things in therapy that my first T did not have the skills for. So if you still feel you can benefit from therapy, don't give up. Your second T may be the one who can really help.

[Chopin99]

I just wanted you to know that I know what you are going through is hard and I am lending my support. Feel free to PM if you need to talk.

[~EnlightenMe~]

It TRULY means ALOT that all of you have posted. I started out okay and am now just dead inside and agitated on the outside. I don't want to do anything or go anwhere and nothing good is on T.V. I can't find anything to occupy my mind, I can't find anything to fill the void/ungroundedness (tried stomping, visualization, etc.). I'm sitting here putting on a facade because people don't understand. I went to the dentist with my facade (yes, I'm an operational member of society). I took my daughter out to do things with my facade (yes, I'm an operational member of society). My husband and my facade watched T.V. Just going through the motions 'as if' I'm somebody.
Then I have to torture myself for some reason and go over what was said in the last session and now I'm obsessed with I must have done something horribly, terribly, unforgivably, reprehensibly wrong; or even worse that I am all of the above.

I'm trying to be mindful but it isn't working well. My T gave me one number to call which I haven't because I'm more interested in the other person and said he'd call me by Friday on that one but he might not be taking patients. Although I intellectually am at a bit of a better place, emotionally, I feel like a piece of trash he threw out and didn't even make sure I got into the trash can. I should call the police to charge him for littering I wish I didn't feel that way, but I do.

I don't know what comes next, no clue. I just hope I that this existence isn't my permanent existence. For those of you who went through it, are going through it, I feel for you. For those of you who can't imagine it/dread it, don't bother as it won't help you when the time comes.

I still feel like it is all my fault, and I'm trying to control my self-hatred. I'm so frustrated that I can't just be who I want to be, much less meet anyone else's standards. I agree with him in that I wouldn't want to be around me anymore and that I'm to be avoided. But that's how I feel. Come on, intellect, can you please help me? I can't even depend on myself.

I still have my sense of humor and I'm still SO looking forward to Breaking Bad on Sunday night. So, I'm trying. . . . . . . . . . . .. I wonder when trash day is?

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

How about "Mutual , smutual... I've graduated to T2"

I had a "mutual" termination, as in she fired me after I kept telling her I needed to quit. .

Funny, that is kind of the way it ended with me. I told him one time that the next session was the last, then I backed out. Then last time I said, the next session will be my last. He said, "I'll have two referrals for you.",

So, here comes the next session and he sits in his chair and tells me that he knows he told me it would be my decision to terminate, but that he was terminating ther relation ship. I said, I thought I had done that last week. He said, Oh, I forgot. lol????? I have NO idea, this is all just too painful. I guess I'll call some therapists tomorrow who I looked up on the internet. I don't know that I want to go through this again, but I wonder if I need help getting through the grief process of this end. Good grief, I'm over all this! TC