Do you thank your T?

Wren_ · Aug 17, 2012, 08:41 PM

the whole needs thing is so confusing

thanks for asking learning

that sounds like a good discussion you had back then ... although probably the same thing you asked me applied when you were also thinking of not so good times with him; seems like we both need to learn more about asserting needs?

velcro003 · Aug 17, 2012, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbutton

I've been pondering this. I can't think of anything in my past that would cause this type of transference. I was neglected, not belittled. It may be something I'd decided in my head - it was safer to avoid this "weakness". T1 told me many times I have a fear of intimacy & that he and I needed to have intimacy. I made faces at him every time he said it. Gross.

Somehow I have my wires crossed and have merged gratitude and desperation.

Oooh, maybe because my mom is a clingy anxious borderline. I have strong urges to NOT be like her. AT all. EVER.

I have said this SO MANY TIMES in therapy!! I also wasn't belittled either, maybe somewhat emotionally neglected.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crescent Moon

..or... after she sees you, she sees her own therapist, toward whom she probably expresses a lot of gratitude

lol

autumnleaves · Aug 18, 2012, 01:12 AM

As usual, Stopdog is an absolute breath of fresh air.

Speaking sincerely here. I loved reading everyone's interaction and discussion on this. Also, I tend to thank my therapist as I leave, but I think it's more out of habit. I have thanked group leaders for group therapy by telling them that I am grateful for people like them who go into helping professions and that I appreciate all of their hard work as well as their personalities.

Bill3 · Aug 18, 2012, 02:23 PM

Stopdog: What is your thinking about using or receiving the "Thanks for this!" icon that is available here on this forum?

TheWell · Aug 18, 2012, 02:54 PM

I specifically stop before I leave both group and my individual sessions (different Ts) and make sure that I look them in the eye and thank them by name. It's important to me even if it's been a difficult session or if they've called me out on something. Being appreciative of poeple is important even if it's their job. I take classes (working towards my masters) and I thank my teacher after every class. Not to be a kiss *** but because I am genuinely appreciative of their efforts.

stopdog · Aug 18, 2012, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

Stopdog: What is your thinking about using or receiving the "Thanks for this!" icon that is available here on this forum?

I don't think of anyone here as a paid professional doing their job when they interact with me.

CantExplain · Aug 18, 2012, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I don't think of anyone here as a paid professional doing their job when they interact with me.

PARANOID SPECULATION:

Maybe there are some paid professionals here. We know there are moderators. Maybe they take off their uniforms and circulate among us?

Anyone on PC might be a moderator in disguise.

stopdog · Aug 18, 2012, 04:41 PM

Oh good lord.

Crescent Moon · Aug 18, 2012, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I don't think of anyone here as a paid professional doing their job when they interact with me.

*whew* I am so relieved to find out that I am free to express my gratitude for the entertainment you provide me.

<---- (gratitude)

<------ (affirmation)

CantExplain · Aug 20, 2012, 12:39 AM

It turns out I didn't thank her today.
Maybe I don't thank her as often as I thought.

Aug 20, 2012, 01:26 AM

I don't thank my T every week. I do thank him when he does something that is above and beyond the ordinary. I stopped therapy for a while and then I really thanked him for all that he helped me with and for the work that we did together.

Simina · Aug 20, 2012, 03:35 PM

I used to thank my T after every session at the beginning, but then decided not to do it anymore, as I found it too formal. It was implied that I liked her work, since I've enjoyed and kept coming back, so a bye was enough. Afterwards, knowing that thank you can be used as polite tool, I've used it after the sessions which I didn't really enjoy or found helpful, more as a thanks for her time. Interesting, but that's how I felt

Bill3 · Aug 20, 2012, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

Stopdog: What is your thinking about using or receiving the "Thanks for this!" icon that is available here on this forum?

Quote:

Originally posted by stopdog:
I don't think of anyone here as a paid professional doing their job when they interact with me.

I am not surprised. However, in view of your #59,

Quote:

originally posted by stopdog:
but I don't feel particularly grateful to those with whom I am legitimately intimate nor do I want them to be grateful to me. I am serious when I say it feels condescending (and something else I have not quite narrowed down to be able to describe) to me both to have it expressed to me

your thinking appears to have more to it than a single, clearcut distinction between "paid" and "unpaid". Perhaps you would now be willing to share more of that thinking as it relates to the "Thanks!" icon on this forum.

learning1 · Aug 20, 2012, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigergirl

the whole needs thing is so confusing

thanks for asking learning

that sounds like a good discussion you had back then ... although probably the same thing you asked me applied when you were also thinking of not so good times with him; seems like we both need to learn more about asserting needs?

Yes, it sure is confusing and yes, I need to learn that too.

happysomeday · Aug 24, 2012, 05:08 AM

I thank her and tell her I appreciate her. She always tells me she appreciates me too.

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