Sorry about all the new threads lately everyone...I don't mean to be a thread hogger its just that things haven't been going great lately.
So as some of you might know. I am seeing this new T, well two new t's not sure which one I will continue to see yet but the one I seen this week is young, well a little older than me and a lot younger than other T.
WE have been emailing a lot, which I find is really helping but when I see her, it doesn't help.
She never asks how I am or whats happening just sits there and waits for me to talk, which I can't with her.
Well one of the reasons she agreed to see me was if she was allowed to contact my doctor because I was SUi, I agreed eventually, well since then, four sessions later, she never asks how my anti deppressants are going or if I still feel sui, well today I went dramatically backwards...I feel into a bad hole today and all the old thoughts came back, I haven't felt this bad in months.
See this girl I have been seeing very briefly decided today that she needed some space because she felt her feelings were too overwhelming so all the feelings of being abandoned and rejected came back and nearly destroyed me...I stayed inside all day and cried and cried and found myself thinking I can't do this anymore, constantly getting hurt but I don't want to be alone forever and ever. I hate being gay. I wish I could just go asleep and never wake up. But when I sleep I dream about my ex, I am stuck in this hell on earth and it feels neverending.
I don't want to bother T at the weekend, it when I have emailed her in the past she has been great, really good advice and genuinely caring but in real life I am left feeling worse. I don't want to email her in case she contacts my doctor.

[healed84]

Button- if you are allowed to e-mail her on the weekend, I would suggest you could. If you know that you are just having the bad thoughts and feel safe enough to ensure your T that you aren't going to hurt yourself tonight or in the near future.. Then tell her that. She will understand that. Most Ts will even say, if you are having suicidal thoughts that they will make a contract that you won't hurt yourself from then to the time of your next appointment. I hope things get better for you!

[adel34]

Hi Button30,
Don't worry about all the threads. That's what we're here for.
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I would e-mail t and let her know this. It sounds like you guys are fairly coonnected over e-mail, but it's harder at the in person sessions. I've been there. Hopefully over time the connection you have over e-mail will translate into the actual sessions.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Button,
The good thing about PC is that you can create as many/few threads as you feel you need, no need to worry! I am sending positive thoughts your way and hope you find your way out of this seemingly hell on earth, and if you do, send me the directions TC

[mixedup_emotions]

(((( button ))))

It's completely understandable to be feeling the way you do - it's a hard thing, to be told by your partner that they need space. It hurts. So, try not to be so hard on yourself for feeling hurt.

My T also sits there and expects me to do the talking....and I find it to be incredibly difficult at times. It would be worthwhile for you to talk to your T about this - and your fear of your doctor being contacted - as it could lead to some important discoveries.

(( HUGS ))

[Miswimmy1]

I would go ahead and email her... Just reassure u that you aren't a danger to yourself or others. That is the only reason she would contact your dr...

Originally Posted by button30

Sorry about all the new threads lately everyone...I don't mean to be a thread hogger its just that things haven't been going great lately.

There is no limit on posts...


I don't want to bother T at the weekend, it when I have emailed her in the past she has been great, really good advice and genuinely caring but in real life I am left feeling worse. I don't want to email her in case she contacts my doctor.

Don't deny yourself support when you really need it, it may help you of how you're feeling. Sorry Button...

Thank you everyone for your replies They mean a lot to me xxxxx.
I didn't email T because it was the weekend, I cried myself to sleep and had horrible nightmares all night. I don't want to email her today because I don't want to get attached to her. If I was still with my old T I would have rang her and she would have made everything ok.

Button break ups suck and you know this is what's causing the SI feelings, so try to get out of your head today, hang out with some friends...or keep posting. You can PM me if you ever need to chat.

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Button break ups suck and you know this is what's causing the SI feelings, so try to get out of your head today, hang out with some friends...or keep posting. You can PM me if you ever need to chat.

Thank you Lola, I appreciate it (((hugs))). Breakups really do suck, I don't think I can get into another relationship because I am attracting all the wrong people and always have.

[Butterflies Are Free]

I am so sorry you are going through all of this... I would email your T and remember, we all care about you!

Originally Posted by Butterflies Are Free

I am so sorry you are going through all of this... I would email your T and remember, we all care about you!

Thank you butterflies, I wish I had a T like yours who I could ring and they would always be there for me.