[Kacey2]

I am so hurting. I won't have an apt with t in over a month. Everything has turned to crap lately. I went on a vacation and I had an appointment the morning I was going to fly out. Well, I woke up with pink eye so that didn't work, I had to go to the Dr. instead. Then my therapist cancelled the appointment I had when I returned the following week. He went on vacation this week.

Then on this last Thursday I received a call from the receptionist that I didn't have any appointments in September. I always schedule months in advance because only a certain day and time work for me since I work in another town and have a half hour commute.

I had scheduled back in May according to their system and t had thought about changing his schedule so he had the office manager take out those appointments. Which no one informed me about. I just thought he was stilll just thinking about it. I had told him that those were the only times that worked for me so in the end he kept it open.

Side note** He had just switched his schedule two months earlier and I had been at that time for years. So this was the only other time that worked for me with my work schedule.**

Jump forward to now. I did not have any clue that my times had been removed and then opened back up for anyone to take and now they are gone. Oh and the kicker is that he doesn't have any other openings for the whole month of September. So actually it will be about 7 weeks with no appointment.

Oh and t was gone when all of this was going down on Thursday. He saw I had no apt in September and told it to the secretary as he was in the parking lot to leave. I guess calling me would have been too much work. His wife was there and they told her what the problem was and she just said, "Well, things happen. She can call the crisis line if she needs in the mean time." Are you Effin kidding me? Ouch.

The only times that were open were Thursdays at 0830 which really sucks because I have group in the afternoon that day. It is my only day off for the week and it is t's last work day of the week so if we tear into a bunch of stuff he is not available for another 4 days. Well I don't know why that matters, he really isn't available at all anymore besides apt times. If I call him say on Monday morning after waiting out the long weekend he will call me after 7 pm at night which is excruiciating because I have already been pushed to my limit of waiting for help by Monday morning. So I just don't even call anymore.

Anyways, I sucked it up and mustered all of the "big girl" bones in my body and said I would take the 0830s on Thursdays. I will just choose which one ,individual or group, I want to do for the week and cancel out of the other. I do not want to go there twice in one day it really ruins my only day off. Plus I am in school full time and work full time.

I have been crying for the last week pretty much. I feel like just a number. Just a time slot in his week that can be so easily replaced. I feel like I have zero connection with him and I really want to just cut my losses and quit at this time. I also feel not cared about and really insignificant in his life. I miss the time where I was naive and thought I really mattered. Sob sob.
I am really looking for support right now.

That flat-out sucks. Sorry Kasey
But well done for mustering all the 'big girl bones' and taking those Thursday evening slots.

Kacey, that does suck and ...his wife doesn't seem very nice, don't let her comment bother you...what does she know. We are here for you.... Can you get on a cancellation list?

Originally Posted by Kacey2

I am so hurting. I won't have an apt with t in over a month. Everything has turned to crap lately. I went on a vacation and I had an appointment the morning I was going to fly out. Well, I woke up with pink eye so that didn't work, I had to go to the Dr. instead. Then my therapist cancelled the appointment I had when I returned the following week. He went on vacation this week.

Then on this last Thursday I received a call from the receptionist that I didn't have any appointments in September. I always schedule months in advance because only a certain day and time work for me since I work in another town and have a half hour commute.

I had scheduled back in May according to their system and t had thought about changing his schedule so he had the office manager take out those appointments. Which no one informed me about. I just thought he was stilll just thinking about it. I had told him that those were the only times that worked for me so in the end he kept it open.

Side note** He had just switched his schedule two months earlier and I had been at that time for years. So this was the only other time that worked for me with my work schedule.**

Jump forward to now. I did not have any clue that my times had been removed and then opened back up for anyone to take and now they are gone. Oh and the kicker is that he doesn't have any other openings for the whole month of September. So actually it will be about 7 weeks with no appointment.

Oh and t was gone when all of this was going down on Thursday. He saw I had no apt in September and told it to the secretary as he was in the parking lot to leave. I guess calling me would have been too much work. His wife was there and they told her what the problem was and she just said, "Well, things happen. She can call the crisis line if she needs in the mean time." Are you Effin kidding me? Ouch.

The only times that were open were Thursdays at 0830 which really sucks because I have group in the afternoon that day. It is my only day off for the week and it is t's last work day of the week so if we tear into a bunch of stuff he is not available for another 4 days. Well I don't know why that matters, he really isn't available at all anymore besides apt times. If I call him say on Monday morning after waiting out the long weekend he will call me after 7 pm at night which is excruiciating because I have already been pushed to my limit of waiting for help by Monday morning. So I just don't even call anymore.

Anyways, I sucked it up and mustered all of the "big girl" bones in my body and said I would take the 0830s on Thursdays. I will just choose which one ,individual or group, I want to do for the week and cancel out of the other. I do not want to go there twice in one day it really ruins my only day off. Plus I am in school full time and work full time.

I have been crying for the last week pretty much. I feel like just a number. Just a time slot in his week that can be so easily replaced. I feel like I have zero connection with him and I really want to just cut my losses and quit at this time. I also feel not cared about and really insignificant in his life. I miss the time where I was naive and thought I really mattered. Sob sob.
I am really looking for support right now.

this would infuriate me enough to find a new t. or at least to file a complaint, bc you are being left without support for too long. that is bs.

[unaluna]

that's just it, his wife DOES know. "big girl stuff." one time I was on the bus passing RIGHT IN FRONT of T's bldg when my phone buzzed, and it was him, cancelling my appt. I was like, sure, no problem, but inside I was RU SERIOUS? I AM LITERALLY OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW! WAVE TO ME! it was just one session but it was a turning point - I could either be all defeated, my life is a joke, I can't win for losing, or I could say, no biggie, isn't that funny, and just move on. sounds like you are seeing that big picture perspective. sounding all mature n stuff. I hate when that happens!

[adel34]

Hi Kasy,
This totally sucks! And the thing about his wife? That's none of her business! She doesn't sound nice at all.
I would certainly discuss this with t next time you see him, if you can. Otherwise, I would try and find another t, because it's kind of useless if you're trying to work with someone who you're not connected to at all, who doesn't even have the consideration to let you know when he had all the appointments taken out of his schedule for Sept. And for him to realize this as he's leaving, kind of not professional.
Please keep us posted.

[lostmyway21]

Hey Kacey... I'm soo sorry this is happening.

First off I can NOT believe what T's wife said. You should definitly bring it up with T! Okay I can't remember, I know you have strong attachment, but is it with this particular T or your previous? I'm just thinking if it's not with this T maybe you should start looking for a new T at least until your schedules can match up on a consistent basis again. I think it was beyond rude that he cleared his schedule for a month and didn't give you a heads up that you wouldn't have an appt. Really how hard is it to give somebody a phone call?

What comes down to it now is can you substitute indivual for group for a while? Or just until your normal sessions are worked out? Or do you consistantly need to go to this group? Can you talk to T about your situation on the phone and see if maybe he's willing to move another client around? I mean why can't he meet you halfway here? I know my T moves his schedule all over the place when ours conflict. Is HE not concerned you won't see him for this long? Waiting the length of time you have to wait is totally unfair. I'm sorry kacey.

I am so sorry Kasey . His wife sounds like a pice of work! Have you considered maybe finding a new T who could be more available to you? It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and that is too long to go without support.

If you wait can't you talk with your T about his wife? She was extraordinarily callous to you and I think at the very least it warrants discussion.

Hang in there.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Wow - I am so sorry!!! Does your T have a backup T that you can see or can you try to see someone just while he is gone? I don't like the idea of your T not having someone you can see while he is gone...

[scorpiosis37]

I'm so sorry that this happened, Kacey. If you made those appointments first-- and the T office cleared them from the calendar without informing you-- it would seem to me that T/T's office should have rescheduled the OTHER clients who were given those times. Since you scheduled them first, they should go to you-- even if they took you off the calendar (you didn't do it!). Given your particularly difficult schedule, it would also be more likely that the other clients could have found alternative days/times with less hardship. (I know my T takes that into account when there's a scheduling issue- since my schedule is more flexible than most, I've allowed her to reschedule me to accomodate a client with a schedule more like yours). Are you able to talk to T about any of this before your next session? If I were in your shoes, how T handles this situation would tell me a lot about our therapy relationship and whether T is the right therapist for me. If he expressed being upset with the T office for the mistake, took ownership of the situation, and attempted to find a remedy to the situation-- that would make me feel cared about. If he said something dismissive, minimized the situation, or said something about the crisis line like his wife did-- that would be a huge red flag for me. I really hope that you can talk to your T about this and that he handles the situation much, much better than his wife and the T office did! I'm just so sorry this happened to you-- not having T for that long, when you did everything right and THEY messed up, really sucks! Keep us informed!