How to Think Abstractly

I'm doing schema therapy for my T. I have a lot of trouble with the "pretend you have different personalities inside you" part of it. Then when we do chair work, I have a lot of trouble talking from one personality to the other. Its like to me, I only have one personality and its very cohesive.. I am a very logical/rational type of person so I have a lot of trouble with abstract things like this. I find it hard to imagine the feelings as separate entities inside my own head, let alone separate PEOPLE!

With the chair work you are supposed to sit in your chair as one mode (or personality), and then talk to an invisible person in the other chair, who is supposed to be a different mode/personality of you. It is all a bit mind blowing. Then you are supposed to go into the other chair and be that personality, and then respond to the old you in the other chair, etc etc. You basically have a conversation with different parts of yourself and that is where the healing lies, I think. Like eg. You could have your vulnerable child self in one chair and the detatched protector mode in the other chair and you have some sort of conversation with yourself.

Now, being a numbersey/realistic/engineerey- type person, I have a bit of trouble with this. I cant get past the "omg, Im sitting here talking to myself" bit and I cannot get into character for each mode, as you are supposed to do. You are supposed to really get into each mode in these chair conversations, and really have an emotional thing going on with the other personalities of yourself. I find its a bit too "wayyyy out there" for me, lol. Anyone have any tips for this? Cuz i know its very important in this type of therapy so I'd like to be able to do it. I asked my T and she said "some people take years before they can do it" so although that makes me feel better (its not only me), I need to make some sort of effort to be able to do this.

is there a you for different situations?

If you are good with numbers, you should be no stranger to abstract thought.

Haha that is a good point, CantExplain, I didn't think of that. Well in that case I'm not a numbers person!!

I sort of meant that anything abstract like I described in my original post, I have a really hard time imagining. If its not something I can see and observe with my 5 senses in real life then I have a really hard time even comprehending it (eg. different personalities inside myself, invisible people in chairs, etc)

Anyone have any tips about how to get into the right frame of mind for this sort of thing?

Should I have a stiff drink before I go in there? haha
Joking :P I wouldnt do that.

I couldn't do like that. Felt to contrived.

[quote=KazzaX;2567977]I'm doing schema therapy for my T. I have a lot of trouble with the "pretend you have different personalities inside you" part of it/quote]
i just read what u put in italics and it struck me because i wondered why your T is trying to make to make u believe that u might have alternate personalities inside of urself

Sending you loads of hugs! I cold have written this post. Don´t have an answer but just to let you know you are not the only one with "chair work" difficulties.
Your T sounds great ... I never had that explanation....was just told to " jump around" between chairs...needless to say....

BUT theres a reason for everything AND it is suppose to work

I'm also doing schema therapy and I freaked out when I first read about the 'mode' work- it reminded me of all the scary stuff I'd read in the old days about multiple personalities and I thought it would be trying to fragment me when I'm not fragmented.

Is your T using the mode model rather than the schema model? Modes definitely aren't separate 'personalities', although it can sound like it at first. They are parts of ourselves which we shift into at times, like vulnerable child or healthy adult or detached protector. We *all* have some of these modes (even Ts!) and the aim is to slow down the mode flipping, and to strengthen the healthy adult to take charge.
http://www.schematherapy.com/id72.htm

It sounds like chairwork is too much too soon. It took me several months to wrap my head around the modes and recognise which applied to me and which didn't. We did this gradually, sometimes by T wondering out loud if I was feeling more in vulnerable child mode at the moment, and also by doing schema diaries. The first time I tried chairwork was one year in. You have to be familiar with the different modes within you, otherwise how are you supposed to know what they would say? I also found it helpful that it was ok if I was just in one mode during chairwork, and T 'played' the other mode.

The book which really changed my thinking and understanding about 'parts' of ourselves wasn't a schema therapy one, but an internal family systems one:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Therapy...7442685&sr=8-1

I would never be able to do that...so, good for you for trying. It isn't something I can wrap my mind around, and although I have heard several people talk about it and do well with that kind of thinking, it doesn't resonate with me.

I would not be good at that kind of therapy. Like someone else said: feels very contrived to me. I don't tend to buy into things that don't feel "real".

My T is gestalt-based, so the empty chair technique was something he encouraged me to do early on in therapy....and I couldn't bring myself to do it. My discomfort with the embarrassment of the idea was the main reason...but underlying that, it was an incredible fear. He initially suggested that I use the technique to talk to my dad who passed away a few years ago...and just the thought of my dad sitting there across from me created such a surge of emotions. So, it's likely a credible technique and I'd imagine that it'd be helpful to me - if I could get over the embarrassment of it.

That's exactly where I'd be. I can hardly speak as it is!

DO you actually get up and physically switch chairs? I have never done this, only heard about it.

Is there a reason why you have chosen schema therapy in particular? Do you think this technique will ultimately be helpful for you? Or do you think you would benefit more from another type of therapy (like traditional talk therapy)? I ask because not all types of therapy work for all people. Is it possible this is not the best therapeutic technique for you?

Thanks for the replies guys
Not sure how to do multi quotes so Ill just sort of summarise it all in a blob of text, lol.

Well I sort of used the wrong words there. It's not really different personalities but its like they use imagery to access parts of yourself that are hidden behind defences or subconscious. I was going to describe it but Minneymouse described it perfectly in her reply there. I think you just like imagine the modes as different people, but at the same time knowing its just different bits of you.

Minneymouse, you could be right. Ive been seeing this T for about 3 or 4 months now and she was doing chair work in about the 3rd session onwards hehe. Maybe that is too soon? Not sure.

Scorpiosis: I do believe if I can do this therapy right it will be beneficial to me. If you read what kinda target audience that schema therapy is for, it has a picture of me there, haha. I have chronic, long term depression and that is one of the things it is great for, they say. That, and BPD (which they are talking about in T again.. ive been dignosed with that twice, both times afterwards they changed their minds and said no, not BPD lol). But if it is BPD then this therapy is great for it they say.

Oh and yeah I actually get up and switch chairs hehe

kazza-i also am not able to tap into alternate selves. i do EMDR therapy, and it is SO HARD. she constantly asks "what does that part of self feel?" and i constantly think, "there are no parts! i'm just me!" i also can NOT "feel" things in my body. i know when i am really nervous, but subtle things, no clue. sooooo i have no advice, but i do know how you feel. it is so difficult.

for example i was describing a scene from childhood where my dad suddenly took my cat out of the house (he hated cats), and siad he was taking him back to the pound. of course i was upset, and ran after the car, crying. she asked what i felt in my body as i was saying that story...and (like always) i just sit uncomfortably for awhile and go "ummm. i don't know. i feel the same." that is awkward enough, but then she had me imagine an alternate scenario that would have ended differently. i couldn't imagine any different ending, because that is what happened! it was an epic failure, to say the least

I hear you, Velcro003!

YEah the feelings in the body one is tough too. I have trouble with that also. I also dont realise I've been triggered until about 30 minutes after ive been triggered and ive acted out already, lol. I don't notice the alleged "bodily signs" that are there.

I dunno. Maybe I should just not think about it, and leave it to the therapist? (the chair and modes and stuff). If she has other clients that take years to be able to do chair work, maybe I'm just one of those and I should just accept it and not worry about it. I have always read that you need to take control of your therapy session and put in 150% effort at all times if you want a good outcome - maybe I am taking it too far. My bf and T think i am trying to rush therapy but I am just trying to assure that its done right this time around. I dont want a wasted opportunity!