[mixedup_emotions]

The co-facilitator of my group T, who I really like and value, is leaving the group after two more sessions. I shared on our group blog that I felt sad, expressed my appreciation of her, and said that I realized that over the year she has been with us that I've shared so little about myself that she didn't get a chance to really know me.

She responded saying that we still have two weeks left for me to share with her....

I was like...

On a professional psychological level, I'm curious to know if her experience of me over the last year would be better understood if she had some knowledge of my history. But I have no idea what to share!

Do I share the trauma history? Would that be helpful?
Do I share what I'm like now and what my current struggles are?
Do I share my experiences over the years that stand out to me?
Do I not bother, because it really is just too late?

Whatever I share would need to be shared with the group as a whole, so I'm not quite sure I want to go there.....As you may know, I haven't disclosed much of my past trauma in group T for fear of being judged, viewed differently or feeling less than and shameful. My goal has been to create safety in the room to be able to explore these types of things...but I'm not yet there.

Is this an opportunity take that plunge? What am I waiting for? Or, am I going to hold onto this stuff forever and never let people IRL in?

ACK! The pressure!

[Chopin99]

If it were me and I felt comfortable doing it, I would go over the aspects of my life that were most important to me. Things that formed my current personality and affect the life choices I've made. That may or may not include trauma. You could mention that there was a traumatic experience, but not go into any details if you are not comfortable doing so. However, that could open the door to being more comfortable in sharing it later.

I think you are courageous just being in group therapy. The thought of sharing with a lot of other people is frightening. Since I started this round of therapy, I am more comfortable sharing portions of my life, but one-on-one with other people. For months, my T kept telling me that I was going to share my story in a "public setting". I'm not so sure about that.

[Miswimmy1]

I think you suck in a big breath and take the plunge. No one is going to judge you... you area all there for your own reasons, and they understand that. They also understand how dificult to open up, and you doing so may assist them in getting their own courage...

as for what to tell them, i would answer all of the questions you just listed. those all sound like something that could assist in your therapy.

[wotchermuggle]

If it was me, I'd want to share, but I wouldn't. She isn't going to be there to help facilitate your healing within the group setting. Do you want to take a leap knowing you will be without her personal support?

I think at some point, we all have to decide to take a leap, but I think there may be a better time to do it for your own recovery.

JMO though.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I agree with wotchermuggle. When you disclose things that are of such a personal nature, often people feel vulnerable and need their therapist more than ever to help them feel safe again. I would hate for you to do this and regret it. Maybe you could do this with a T one-on-one? Wishing the best for you, no matter what you decide.)

[mixedup_emotions]

Thanks for the feedback!

It makes me wonder if part of the reason I feel somewhat compelled to share with this T is because she's leaving...and there will be no chance for her to react to what I'm sharing.

I'd actually prefer to have an individual session with this T to gain her professional perspective - one of not knowing my history. I mean, how often do we have an opportunity to have a T experience our interactions with people for a whole year without knowing much about them - and then explore what sense they have based on that experience?

That also tells me that I have the ability to trust this T...but that I don't yet feel trusting in the group.

My T - who also runs the group T - knows about my history, etc. So, perhaps it would be worthwhile for me to just talk to him in an individual session to get his feedback.

[WikidPissah]

with two weeks left, I don't think I would say anything. I wouldn't trust someone who is leaving anyways. (that's just me) I do think it's a good positive idea to meet with her and ask her opinion though.