Possible First Hospitalization

I just can't deal anymore. I'm not suicidal, but all of these emotions are coming out of nowhere and I can't control them. I have never done this before and this is terrifying.

i know those damn emotions are so hard to deal with i hope everything goes well for u keep in touch

I have done this before ( multiple occasions throughout my life) and you will be ok. I have checked myself into "behavioral units of hospitals" for 48 hours evaluations. I needed a break from ME and , I needed to stabaliize myself. If you cant trust yourself or handle your emotions, I suggest you find a facility. It will be ok, you are having a rough go of things. There are people and places that can help you. PM me if you like. Have you heard back from Pdoc? Can you take some vacation time from work?

Pdoc asked if I wanted to go to the hospital, and I said I wasn't suicidal, which is a condition for admission. I asked about outpatient and she said that I could call another location. She told me that my T said that we both mutually agreed on terminating. I have posted that I had planned to terminate, so I guess my xT told me he wanted to terminate so it could be a mutual termination. Whatever. What I said went on went on, I don't need validation from anyone else. It is frustrating and I called my xT and asked how much it would be to copy my latest file therapy notes so I can see for myself. I'm going to start a different thread on my future plans because I don't want to post it here.