Well its been a rough couple of weeks. I quit T on Sept 6th. I really do miss my T but I had to take a hard look at my progress with him and my ability to process things with him... and I'm not convinced I should go back to him. Therapy with him is 100% psychodynamic and it really did do a good job of getting me to let down the walls of my fortress.... but there was no skill building, no "advice" not much feed back... and that itsn't working for me... Its all grace and no truth...

On top of that there was a lot of personal chit chat and I know a lot about him and we started to relate more as friends (nothing inappropriate) and some of the things he said about non T things made me change how I saw him as a T....

Tonight 6:30pm eastern time, I go to see a new T. I picked a woman this time. I don't feel at all comfortable with women. Actually I realized all my doctors and even my dentist is a man. When she asked what I was looking for in a T, I said that I wanted someone who will listen and empathize but who is going to call me out on my BS, to give feedback, to help set up boundaries. Her philosophy is more eclectic... IFS, CBT, Psychodynamic.

But I'm anxious about it so I could use some support.

[Dreamy01]

Good luck!

And very well done for trying to find a therapist who is right for you at this time. There's no 'shoulds' in therapy. I think I understand what you mean about psychodynamics actually - I think it works well for a time, but eventually there can be a need for something more gritty. My first t worked in that field and she was lovely, but I don't think I could have got to where I am had I continued with her. I really needed something more.

It's okay and natural to be anxious but hopefully the T will put you at ease especially if you feel more anxious with women. This is about you and your needs. Well done for doing what is right for you!

[pbutton]

Good luck! My first appt with T2 was not that long ago. I know too well how you feel. I hope it works out for you.

Very Happy for you ready and we will be here to support you. Sending warm fuzzy vibes your way.

[roads]

Kudos on moving on quickly when you knew you weren't/couldn't get what you needed from T1. It sounds like you need to give T2 constant feedback (inc questions inc "why are we doing this?") initially, & perhaps keep any uneasiness you are aware of working with a woman on the table for awhile ... so a longer breaking period ...

But after that, no reason you shouldn't do your best work yet with her. What are your main concerns at this point?

[granite1]

good luck ready ill be here tonight .i hope you let us know how things went and if you think she is worth another visit ok.jumping in your pocket

One of the things that attracted me to her was that on her Psychology Today bio listed boundary work and helping relationships heal as some of her specialties.. right now my marriage is in shambles because I found something out about my H and I haven't been able to move past it and he is in his own T and his T said he isn't ready for marriage counseling... and I have a whole lot of issues on my own...from abusive FOO so I need help separating what is me now... me past...and what is H...

[granite1]

wow thats awsome i don't thnk i have ever see a T list that .it would have interested me also. i hope it goes well

Good luck with the new T and please keep up updated on how it's going!

[adel34]

Hi Ready,
Good luck with new t! Can't wait to hear how it goes.

Hope its going well.

Good luck read and congratulations for taking the first step to better therapy, her specialties sound perfect for your situation right now. Sorry about your marriage and I hope you and your H can work things out.

[skysblue]

It seems like trying out a new T is kinda like dating. You check each other out to see if you're a good fit. Although I have only had one therapist, I DID go see a 'substitute' T while she was on vacation a couple of times. Although the sub was a nice person and there wasn't anything obviously wrong with her, I just KNEW she could not be my T. It's all about connection, in my opinion. Good luck.