[SoupDragon]

How common is it for us to experience counter transference as a result of T's stuff?

I am thinking of quitting T - maybe this is my stuff, but what if it is T not wanting to work with me that I am picking up on? So it seems like something I want (to quit) but in fact it is T that wants to quit.

Just wondered.

[mixedup_emotions]

Unfortunately, the only way to truly know the answer is by talking through it with T. I find that I jump to so many conclusions that I believe are totally obvious - and have been off the mark (even though many times I don't trust the response I get from the other party, *sigh*).....

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

Unfortunately, the only way to truly know the answer is by talking through it with T. I find that I jump to so many conclusions that I believe are totally obvious - and have been off the mark (even though many times I don't trust the response I get from the other party, *sigh*).....

Yes I guess it is the impossible question really - a suspicious mind like mine right now, is not going to trust the answer.

Thanks for your reply.

Soup

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

How common is it for us to experience counter transference as a result of T's stuff?

I am thinking of quitting T - maybe this is my stuff, but what if it is T not wanting to work with me that I am picking up on? So it seems like something I want (to quit) but in fact it is T that wants to quit.

Just wondered.

I think that our T's get sick of us from time to time, just like we get sick of them, but in general if they really cant stand us, they refer us out.

So if your t has not referred you out or suggested you need a different therapy, its probably you who wants to quit.

I know I have been accumulating a list of things my t has done or said that theoretically support the idea that she doesn't want to work with me.

But I know it isn't true and she is being very patient with me and my smart mouth and me flinging pillows at her head. I still want to leave therapy. But I know if I leave it will be because I wanted to and not because she pushed me out.

As you know we all have some skewed perceptions, Its like a pre-requisition for being here... lol Perhaps if you explain the situation to someone you trust and see if you are thinking clearly, if you are not wanting to talk to T.

I think if a T genuinly wants to quit with you or can't work with you anymore they will tell you straight out that they can't help you and refer you, so like someone else said its likely you wanting to quit.

[SoupDragon]

So is there a difference between T's being frustrated with us and wanting to quit with us? Is there the same difference with us? Does a rising of negative emotions mean we want to quit?

How do we know if they are useful emotions to work through or if they are telling us to get out as we are done with that T?

Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else, Soup, but don't you go through a wanting to quit therapy phase every few months or so? If so, why does this seem to happen with some regularity? What is going on with you that you want to cut and run?

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

So is there a difference between T's being frustrated with us and wanting to quit with us? Is there the same difference with us? Does a rising of negative emotions mean we want to quit?

How do we know if they are useful emotions to work through or if they are telling us to get out as we are done with that T?

They generally tell you how they feel, I mean has your T gave you any reason to have these feelings or suspiscions? Are these feelings just what you perceive that T is thinking or is it fact?
Ts get frustrated- they are only human. I know my t1 told me she couldn't help me anymore and suggested we had a six month break and we did and when I came back we worked through this phase and she could help me again. But I changed and I wanted to change, I started to want to help myself and get through this.

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

So is there a difference between T's being frustrated with us and wanting to quit with us? Is there the same difference with us? Does a rising of negative emotions mean we want to quit?

How do we know if they are useful emotions to work through or if they are telling us to get out as we are done with that T?

Let's just rely on T to say "Hey I think we are done working together, here's a list of other T's in the area" to determine if they don't want to work with you anymore.

The negative emotions are probably a result of your feeling close to your T and not liking it so the emotions are your defense (at least they are for me) to keep t away from me.

My T says I need to work through it and allow the attachment to develop bc that is where the healing is.

It is hard. I want to flee on practically a weekly basis.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else, Soup, but don't you go through a wanting to quit therapy phase every few months or so? If so, why does this seem to happen with some regularity? What is going on with you that you want to cut and run?

Yep I think that describes me pretty well farmer girl - although maybe it is the other way round - that I am always ready to blot, with some brief episodes of feeling more settled

It is a good point for me though - maybe I should stop focusing on what goes on for me when I want to quit and instead try to identify what is happening when I am more comfortable staying with T.

[Anne2.0]

For me, feeling like I want to quit when I am not where I want to be is mostly about distracting myself from the real issues I need to be working on in therapy itself. Because the only thing that matters in the question of is it me or is it T is what the outcomes has to be upon answering the question. If it's me, then I have to work. If it's T, then I get a way out.

There's been a couple times I've wanted to quit. The last time, I came THIS close to cancelling my appt, but I went anyway and sat there pouting and saying it's not worth it, why do i bother trying, blah blah blah ad nauseum negative crud. She just sat there quietly listening, and let me get over myself, then said would you like to come back on Thursday, I meekly said "um yes please" and went back on Thursday and had a really good session I remember her saying that I did really good work that day. Sometimes I think maybe it's just something we have to go through on this journey we are on. Learning how to expunge the negativity and continue forward. Or something.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

Unfortunately, the only way to truly know the answer is by talking through it with T. I find that I jump to so many conclusions that I believe are totally obvious - and have been off the mark (even though many times I don't trust the response I get from the other party, *sigh*).....

this is what my T and i are experiancing now

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

How common is it for us to experience counter transference as a result of T's stuff?

I am thinking of quitting T - maybe this is my stuff, but what if it is T not wanting to work with me that I am picking up on? So it seems like something I want (to quit) but in fact it is T that wants to quit.

Just wondered.

Before we had a bit of a rupture i was sensing that T was p'offed with me, that she was being impatient and everytime i asked her if that was the case she denied it. Yet i felt a change, which i interpreted as annoyance and her moving away from me. During the rupture it transpired that she was very worried for me and worried that she wasn't doing a good enough job with me and that's what i was picking up.

I think you need to speak to her about what you are picking up from her and get her to be honest about how she is feeling about what's going on cos chances are it's not what you think.