Two therapists at once?

I'm positive this has been addressed before, but my take on it may be a little different.

I have been seeing my therapist for almost two years. For about six months, I saw him weekly, but for most of the time, I have only been seeing him 1-2 times a month. He is excellent at his job, and his evening appointments fill up several months in advance.

I tried to take a break from seeing him this summer (for about four months), and while I WANTED to be able to let him go, I'm just not there yet. I'm really struggling to get through the days, and he's a bright spot for me.

I'm currently scheduled to see my T once a month, but I'm at a point where I should probably be seeing someone weekly. Do I try someone else who has more availability and continue to see him monthly, or do I just try to be content with one time a month?

I am not comfortable asking my T for more appointments - I'm already too attached to him as it is, but that attachment is helping me cope in a huge way.

If this is at all helpful, this is what I'm trying to cope with: I fell in love with my husband mainly over email, and we've been struggling in our marriage for many years now. He was recently diagnosed with Asperger's, and we have a bunch of little kids (some with ASD-like qualities), and I don't have any family members who can be an emotional support for me.

Hi winter girl, sorry you are going through this right now, it must be very hard to deal with!
I saw two different ts at once this summer and I found it brilliant because they both helped me in many different ways and noticed things the other t didn't! It helps lo have some fresh eyes, especially if you have been seeing. The same therapist for a while! It didn't interfere with each other only helped.

From personal experience, two therapists can make things very difficult. I'd suggest you ask your T, who you already have a good relationship with, for more sessions. Why look outside for another relationship when you already have one?

I have two.

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate, wintergirl

As someone who stopped with her T before she got established with a new one... I have to tell you, I sincerely wish I had continued to see T while looking for a new therapist. So I think if you can swing it, seeing two therapists through the transition may not be such a bad thing.

Have you considered marriage counseling, to help with the communication issues between you and your H? Do you think that maybe if you guys could communicate better and empathize better, things might generally be better?

Also, it is extremely stressful to have kids on the autism spectrum. Are there any kind of support groups for moms near you? It can be nice to hang out with people who know exactly what you're talking about, and what you're struggling with at home, and with school (if your kids are old enough).

Stay strong!

I totally agree with Sally on this one. I didn't have the option to keep seeing my xT while I was looking for a new therapist, but now that I've seen a new therapist for two sessions, I realize how much I needed someone to process termination/changing therapists. I could have saved myself a lot of agony. So, I would as your current T if you could see him more often, but if he can't, stay with him until you find a new one. I'm sure he can give you referrals. I wish you the best of luck!

It is generally frowned upon to have two Therapists at once. You need to be released from the care of one therapist in order to take up with another. If they know about each other.

Just ask the first t for weekly sessions. If he says no then find a new t.

around here where I live and work its pretty common place for people to have more than one mental health treatment provider.

example here at the crisis center we deal with some issues but not others, so many of our clients see us for those issues we do deal with and we refer them to someone outside the agency for the issues we dont have time nor funds to address.

I have two therapists, a psychiatrist and a medical doctor, and my neurologist all working together. its worked out great for me.

will it work for you, only you and your treatment providers can say.

Have you tried talking to the therapist about how you may need more than he can provide? I would not just settle for once a month if I thought I needed more. There may be other options if you discussed it with him or you could even get his help to transition to another one.

I don't consider myself "under" anyone's "care" - let alone needing their permission or release to do anything. That whole paternalistic approach of some therapists is not something I will be a part of.

I would slowly transition if you have that option but if you like your T ask even if it's in writing.

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses! I'm glad some of you have personal experience with this.

Hi Sally,

Thank you for your kind words! I hope your search for a new T is going better than mine. I had a session on Wednesday with a potential new T, and it was not a 'good fit' at all. She was condescending and reminded me of my mother. Fail.

My dh and I tried two different marriage counselors prior to learning of his diagnosis. After we had a better understanding of what was actually going on, my T referred me to a specialist in adult Asperger's, and we've been going to her monthly couples support group (which has been somewhat helpful), but she is 45 minutes away from us, and it's difficult to find the time/babysitters needed to see her more often.

I have not talked directly to my T about how I'd like to see him more often, although we've had this conversation before:

T: "Well, you can talk to me as often as you find it helpful."

Me: "That doesn't work for me."

T (confused): "What do you mean?"

Me (mumbling and staring at the carpet): "I said that doesn't work for me. My insurance won't pay for me to see you Monday through Wednesday each week."

Awkward silence.
*******************
Anyway, like I said before, he's booked months in advance, and I can't know what's going on with my kids' activities/dh's work schedule/my classes that far in advance.

Part of me wishes I didn't like him so freaking much, but the truth is that not a lot of Ts are going to work for me. I am stubborn, I have trust issues, and I don't like Ts who are overly sensitive and emotional.

I see a potential new/supplemental T on Wednesday, so wish me luck!

I would make sure seeing two t's is okay with your insurance company (unless you are paying at least one out of pocket.) My sister was seeing one T for individual and one for couples therapy, and they wouldn't cover both because they considered it some sort of "double treatment." Doesn't make sense to me, but then again, insurance companies rarely do.

Best,
EJ

P.S. She was able to just switch couple's T to her husband's name. Just in case anyone was worried about having that specific issue.

I didn't even consider that part of it, EJ. Thank you!