[Victoria'smom]

So T called, and left a message to call. T got an e-mail that I haven't been to the fitness class in three weeks. I really, really got freaked out that she called. T has never called. I did not want to have to explain my reasoning to her. So, I waited to leave her a message to know she wouldn't be there. Well her voice mail doesn't answer after 5 pm on Friday. So now I have to wait until Monday and risk her answering.

I curled up in bed crying because I was so freaked out. My husband decided this was the best time to express that he feels he's losing me and I look at him as a friend. So I try to apologize to him and I freak him out because "It was creepy". Hind sight it was but less creepy then my original idea.

I don't want to talk to T about what's going on. I don't want her to answer Monday. What if she wants me to come in? I'm still very freaked out that she called. I only expect T to call in an emergency. Why would not going to fitness class be an emergency? T has never called in over a year of therapy. I've only called once and she wanted me to go to the crisis center. Can I make a boundary that T only calls in emergency? Why would T feel this is an emergency? Do T's only call in emergencies? She doesn't even cancel her own appointments.

Help!! I'm scared that she called. Do T's call for smaller reasons too? Can / Should I just wait until my appointment on the 15th to acknowledge her call? Do I tell T how much panic I had/have because t called?

[Miswimmy1]

take a deep breath.

Now, my t calls me just to chat. she calls me if she thinks something was left unsaid in session. she calls to just check in. so t's do call for small things. I wouldn't freak out too much.

I think you should definatley tell her how much this has shaken you. Im sure she didnt mean to. i think if it was urgent, she would have left a more detailed message. but she left it up to you wehther to call back or not. so I think that lets you know that its not too bad. She may have just wanted to see if you were ok because you hadn't been working out. maybe she thinks you are slipping into depression or somethinhg?

anything is possible.

[anilam]

Who sent the mail? Someone at your gym knows your T? Gee its none of her business...
BTW I thought that for a personal suffering from Ana would not working out be regarded as a progress. My T would be please to know that Ive skipped gym because I didnt feel like working out.

Hey..I don't get who from your fitness center would send your T a message tell her you haven't been working out. Unless you had to fill out some forms or get "special permission" or what have you. Anyway, I agree with the others that its worth talking about how freaked you are about her calling you. I've been seeing my T for 2 years and she called twice in 2 years to just check on me after very difficult sessions. We talk more than that outside of session, but that's because I initiate a text message to her. If you want that boundary with your T, then it starts with you going in and talking to her about it. You don't have to return her call if you don't want to.

[stopdog]

I would her her not to call you and that she can wait to talk to you at the appointment. But I too am confused as to why a fitness place would have the phone number for a therapist and why the fitness center is calling anyone.

That does seem weird that the fitness center would call her? Or anyone for that matter other than you. My t has called me exactly twice - the first time, when I left a message requesting to make an initial appointment. And the 2nd time, because she realized she forgot to give me my receipt and to call back if I needed it sooner than the next appointment. And that was it. (I don't call her between sessions either unless I need to cancel/change an appointment.)

[sunrise]

I bet your T is just concerned about you and wants to check in. A brief message from you that you are OK and you can talk more at your next appointment should be enough to reassure her. You don't have to go into details of why you have not been going to fitness, etc. Just that you are OK, more later. If she answers the phone, same answer.

I too would be concerned about the fitness class people contacting my T. That is strange!

[autotelica]

My therapist called me last week because the yoga studio called her. It was a little weird, but then again, I do have her as my emergency contact. The weirdness was that I hadn't been in an emergency. And now I'm embarrassed to go back to the studio because now "everyone" knows that I'm crazy. Maybe I'll get over it and go back.

Relax and just let your therapist know that you appreciate her concern, but that it freaked you out that she would call over something that is not that important. What is troubling you exactly? The fact that she would care enough to call you? Or that she was informed of your private business? The latter would be more bothersome to me than the former. The former is an act of caring, though I don't know why she just couldn't wait till next session to talk about it.

[Victoria'smom]

The fitness classes are through the Dr office. Which is in the MH center but not part of the center. I didn't know they could talk to her much less email her. The only thing I can think of is that if it was put in my treatment plan which T controls.
It's been 3 weeks since I've shown up which is 9 classes, 3 weigh-ins / measurements, and 3 dietitian appointments. It's still none of her business unless it's in my treatment plan. I know it probably worries her but I'm not the one to say anything.

I think Monday I'll call during a time that I know T's busy, yeah I can see that backfiring. Telling her that I'm no longer attending the program and will see her on ______ at _:__. At my next appointment she'll probably want to talk about it. I'll tell her how freaked out I was and to only call if she feels I need a sooner appointment. If I would have answered T probably would have wanted to have a conversation or a sooner appointment. T's probably a little freaked out too.

[Victoria'smom]

What is troubling you exactly?

T cares enough to call. T's worried about me. T was contacted at all. That T may change the time / date we meet. T is easily worried. Whatever questions she may ask and my answers to those questions. T feels she can call. T feels I'm dependable. That T isn't going to let this go easily.