[geez]

I’m in therapy and ironically my therapist T1 and I (by accident) are signed up for the same spin class. I initially didn’t find this a problem (no feelings of transference) and I didn’t think it would be a problem as I don’t have anxiety about seeing my therapist in public anymore – I can say hi to her! (I live in a small town/same as my therapist – I was seeing my therapist before and took a break by trying another therapist – didn’t work out so I went back to my first therapist and I’m glad I did).

I’ve/we’ve been going to the same class for about 6 weeks now and I feel fine about going but now I’m feeling some transference (thankfully not as intense as before when I was seeing her in therapy the first go around). In class we converse as well as with other people about spinning/biking etc… My therapist and I have some things in common like biking, running, and yoga etc…

Is there anything wrong with this? Is there something I should be concerned about in seeing my therapist outside of therapy even if unintentional?

To any therapists out there: Have you ever experienced anything like this with a client and how did you handle it??

[Mike_J]

I don't think there is some magic answer that would fit every situation. I would make sure that you talk to your therapist about this, and that you are aware of your emotions.

But it would be sort of a shame if either of you had to adjust your life outside of therapy, because of your therapy.

[taylor43]

I personally do not see it as a problem unless it interferes in the therapy. I would think your t would have boundaries in friendships. I am interested to hear what other peoples thoughts are too!

[geez]

Originally Posted by Mike_J

I don't think there is some magic answer that would fit every situation. I would make sure that you talk to your therapist about this, and that you are aware of your emotions.

But it would be sort of a shame if either of you had to adjust your life outside of therapy, because of your therapy.

When we saw each other in the class the first time I was ok with it. We talked about it at my appt after the spin class. She asked me how I felt about seeing her in class. I told her it didn't bother me at all however I used to feel anxious about possibly seeing her in public. That anxiety isn't there anymore.....I also asked her how she felt seeing me and if I was invading her space. She said she had no problems with it and hasn't shown any behavior that says otherwise.

Since then I still don't feel anxious but I do look forward to seeing her. She does 'mother me' in some ways but she is that way to other people in general in the spin class as well. She has loaned me one of her towels to use during the class and is bringing some clip type shoes for me to try during class.

I certainly feel like my head is above water and I don't feel like my therapy is being effected. I had a lot of transference a year ago, left therapy with her and since I've been back seeing her I feel like I don't have transference (ok maybe just a little but nothing painfully strong etc..). I trust her and feel like I can tell her anything as hard as it may be to sometimes.

Just seeing if there's something I'm not thinking about...

[bamapsych]

As long as both of you are cool with it then I dont think it's a problem. It seems you're both comfortable around each other in T and in public. My T recently invited me to her church and I went one time. It was okay, but I was on high alert since I knew she was probably there somewhere. I've not been back since. It wasn't a bad experience, but it wasn't great either. I fantasize about T being in my real life, but when it happened it wasn't a big deal. Sort of ruins the fantasy for me. If you can both handle it then I think it is appropriate.

[autotelica]

At first it felt weird being in the same yoga class as my therapist, but now it doesn't seem that way. In fact, it gives us something to talk about. My struggles in yoga have become a microcosm of my struggles in "real life", and it is good for my therapist to be witness to it and for me to see how she handles herself. Now that everyone at the studio knows that I have issues and that my therapist is my "special friend", I have another thing to work through--my feelings about being identified as handicapped.

I don't live in a small town, but my therapist and I have a habit of bumping into each other since we live close to each other. Every time I see her, I do feel some excitement, but not "weirdness" or a need to run away. Honestly, it makes me feel relaxed about our relationship. I like that she doesn't ignore me. If she's with someone, she even introduces me as a friend. That's cool.

[geez]

Originally Posted by autotelica

At first it felt weird being in the same yoga class as my therapist, but now it doesn't seem that way. In fact, it gives us something to talk about. My struggles in yoga have become a microcosm of my struggles in "real life", and it is good for my therapist to be witness to it and for me to see how she handles herself. Now that everyone at the studio knows that I have issues and that my therapist is my "special friend", I have another thing to work through--my feelings about being identified as handicapped.

I don't live in a small town, but my therapist and I have a habit of bumping into each other since we live close to each other. Every time I see her, I do feel some excitement, but not "weirdness" or a need to run away. Honestly, it makes me feel relaxed about our relationship. I like that she doesn't ignore me. If she's with someone, she even introduces me as a friend. That's cool.

Very good experience you have had. Sounds great! Ironically a few people in the class my T is friends with already but our conversation has been more like a group conversation so there's no one that suspects I am a client of hers. In the very beginning I was a little bit nervous about seeing her in the same class but she acknowledged me and we chatted briefly initially so that 'broke the ice' and I feel fine about it. Similar to what you have experienced it has actually helped me therapeutically to have T in my class. There was an interaction I had in class that I felt uncomfortable with and she was there and made note of what it was and we talked about it during my appointment with her. It certainly has its benefits and I'm going to miss seeing her in spin when the class ends.

[likelife]

I think it's great that you're so relaxed about the whole thing. I'd love to be able to see my T as human (rumor has it she is), but I seem to really struggle with that idea.

This past summer, my T and I had coincidentally signed our kids up for the same park and rec week-long camp. I saw my T a couple of times at drop off and pick up, and it kind of weirded me out, especially seeing her kids.

[geez]

Originally Posted by likelife

I think it's great that you're so relaxed about the whole thing. I'd love to be able to see my T as human (rumor has it she is), but I seem to really struggle with that idea.

This past summer, my T and I had coincidentally signed our kids up for the same park and rec week-long camp. I saw my T a couple of times at drop off and pick up, and it kind of weirded me out, especially seeing her kids.

I have seen my T in public with her daughter/s too and it used to weird me out but it doesn't any more. In some ways I do feel a tiny bit jealous. For example she was talking in class about her daughter going on a trip with a friend and some of the activities she did. I felt jealous not of her daughter per se but the fact that my T is such a good mom to her kids. I never in a million years would have had that type off opportunity growing up. I could tell my T was beaming and proud of her daughter. In some small way I wish I had that growing up. My mother wasn't of the supportive loving hug type.

[WikidPissah]

It looks like your head is still intact!

Don't look for problems where there is none. As long as it is feeling okay, and you're steady, let it go. I think it will be fine. And if something does fester, you can always talk with t about it.

[keepingalice]

Really great topic. I hope you don't mind my jumping in with my experiences. After 4 years I am finally getting to the really meaty stuff in my talking therapy. I hate hearing what I say and write, because I have a hard time saying it aloud, I mostly write it. I would have a difficult time seeing my therapist outside in the world. It would trigger alot for me. In the beginning he invited me to his church but I said no. He says if we were neighbors we would talk every day. Ugh! I am not anti-social, I am paranoid, and if you can be "normal" when you see your therapist I would say "YEAH!" for you.

[likelife]

Originally Posted by geez

I have seen my T in public with her daughter/s too and it used to weird me out but it doesn't any more. In some ways I do feel a tiny bit jealous. For example she was talking in class about her daughter going on a trip with a friend and some of the activities she did. I felt jealous not of her daughter per se but the fact that my T is such a good mom to her kids. I never in a million years would have had that type off opportunity growing up. I could tell my T was beaming and proud of her daughter. In some small way I wish I had that growing up. My mother wasn't of the supportive loving hug type.

Yeah, this. I have this idea that my T is the perfect mother, when of course, she isn't. I hold my own parenting up to what I imagine to be her perfect parenting and obviously fall short. Not to mention wishing that I could have had a mom who is as emotionally attuned as she usually is.

She has told me that she's different with her kids - that she gets angry and frustrated just like every other parent. I believe her, but it's hard to picture. At the same time, there have almost been times when I wish she would get angry with me (weird, I know), because in some way that would mean that she was actually invested and able to be influenced by me.