Its been a little over two weeks now since I last saw T and I am not sure when I will be seeing her again.
I made a conscious decision not to contact her this week and was adament that I would stick to this.
I thought about her every minute if every day. I thought about her so much it hurt. I said to myself I can do this- I am much stronger now then I was this time last year.
I had some minor setbacks this week that would have usually have sent me on a downward spiral but I coped without T and I am still here.
So yesterday T text me and I was so mad at her at first because I was doing ok but now she text me I think I need her again.
I was even considering quitting therapy because really I could do with the extra money.

[Miswimmy1]

Originally Posted by button30

I had some minor setbacks this week that would have usually have sent me on a downward spiral but I coped without T and I am still here.

I think you are strong enough to get through this. i know how offsetting that can be, to be feeling good about something, and then have someone mess it up. but I think you should try and see it as another "minor setback". and not dwell on it, as you will only make urself crazy. You can do it! you have done it for this long; you can't give up now. maybe send t a message asking her to not contact you unless you initiate the conversation? explain why, and see what she says. i am sure that she will be so ecstatic about the progress you have made, that she will be willing to do whatever she can to help you suceed.

Originally Posted by button30

Its been a little over two weeks now since I last saw T and I am not sure when I will be seeing her again.
I made a conscious decision not to contact her this week and was adament that I would stick to this.
I thought about her every minute if every day. I thought about her so much it hurt. I said to myself I can do this- I am much stronger now then I was this time last year.
I had some minor setbacks this week that would have usually have sent me on a downward spiral but I coped without T and I am still here.
So yesterday T text me and I was so mad at her at first because I was doing ok but now she text me I think I need her again.
I was even considering quitting therapy because really I could do with the extra money.

If you have to force yourself to not contact t maybe you still need her. And maybe that is not such a bad thing.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by button30

I had some minor setbacks this week that would have usually have sent me on a downward spiral but I coped without T and I am still here.

That's good news!

[0w6c379]

Originally Posted by button30

I made a conscious decision not to contact her this week and was adament that I would stick to this.

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Gee, you're doing great to make it to two weeks. I agree with Miswimmy. Maybe just take it one day at a time and see how you feel tomorrow. With every passing day it sounds like you get stronger. Remember that you can always pick up the phone and call her to go back if you really need to. She's just a phone call away, but you are doing good without her. Keep telling yourself that. Hang in there.

Thanks guys! I really am thinking lately that the reason I have been feeling so bad for so long is because I have been in therapy for to long and it just brings us all these bad feelings instead of moving into the future!

[CantExplain]

Maybe you need a change?

[SallyBrown]

Originally Posted by button30

Thanks guys! I really am thinking lately that the reason I have been feeling so bad for so long is because I have been in therapy for to long and it just brings us all these bad feelings instead of moving into the future!

Button, I keep meaning to go back to your old thread about identity, and then not doing it. But this reminds me about it.

I know it must be kind of terrifying to look inward and feel empty because it feels your ex had so much control over you that when she left it felt like "you" left too. But I think this gives you a really exciting opportunity to re-invent yourself. There must have been things you missed about your old self when you were with your ex -- and there must have been things about your life with her that you didn't like so much deep down. Now is your chance to do what YOU want, be who YOU want to be. I know it's easier said than done. It's kind of exciting though!

This feeling that therapy makes things worse because you talk about crappy stuff is pretty common. And I know you're still mourning your losses from that relationship, and that you're going to T for help with this. But maybe you can also try to talk to T about finding yourself and who you're going to be going forward. What do you miss about yourself pre-ex? What did being with your ex prevent you from doing that you really wanted?

Just a thought.