My session last Tuesday

Actually, no I don't see that. But if it were true, it sounds like a super good thing to me. Not a negative.

sd, your "foggy" stmt clarified it somewhat for me. but I wouldn't rush to judgment, to say if it's good or bad. i'm just trying to see if that's what's going on? am I in my own little world?

Oh, I didn't take it as criticism and I'm not criticizing your experience. Trust me, going to work after T today...I'm a bit foggy and I know I won't remember as much as I normally do.

[quote=bamapsych;2691332]I agree with you that it's horribly wrong, in large part because she is telling you that it is about something related to s*x when that's not about it for you. Denotes for me a lack of listening. One of the things that makes me most upset in therapy is when I feel I'm not being heard.

But I'm not sure that I would assume it's about something personal related to her. To me it sounds like the influence of a T school that is very psychodynamic in nature. To a psychodynamically-trained person, one of the basic developmental tasks for girls is to transfer "desire" from the mother to a man. That is one reason why Freudian shrinks used to label lesbians as immature (and why being gay was considered a mental illness in the DSM until around 1970)-- it was thought to be a developmental delay that was pathological. So I think that she may be coming at this from a therapeutic perspective that is all wrapped up in the Freudian paradigm-- which can at times have a lot of value, but IMO misses the mark in lots of ways.

I've worked with a fair number of psychodynamically trained therapists professionally, and one of them described for me his issue with battered women that has always sort of stuck with me about the power of T training. He said that in school they were taught to believe that when women complained that their husbands were hurting them, that they were "mistaken" about any physical attacks, but the hurt was symbolic. In other words, they were taught to believe that no one ever really was beaten by her husband, she just *felt* abused. He was very clear about needing to reorient himself in the face of his training to understanding how to work with people who have been abused, so it all ended well.

your therapist needs a therapist, she has some serious issues with intimacy. Both sexual and platonic it sounds like... it sounds like you are uncomfortable seeing someone who is telling you you should feel how she feels instead of letting you feel how you feel?

Can you actually tell her that?

"I wasn't thinking of you right then. I was speaking more generally about touch."

And plenty of therapists hug their patients.

I do it mostly to get things straightened out in my own mind.

But good record-keeping helps in finding patterns. (Case in point: I was able to tell my T that I get ruptures in spring.)

And in times of trouble it's nice to have solid evidence that some sessions went well.

Yep. It really helps me process in the short-term, and in the long-term, I can go back and see the progress I have made.

[quote=Anne2.0;2691572][quote=bamapsych;2691332]

But I'm not sure that I would assume it's about something personal related to her. To me it sounds like the influence of a T school that is very psychodynamic in nature. To a psychodynamically-trained person, one of the basic developmental tasks for girls is to transfer "desire" from the mother to a man. That is one reason why Freudian shrinks used to label lesbians as immature (and why being gay was considered a mental illness in the DSM until around 1970)-- it was thought to be a developmental delay that was pathological. So I think that she may be coming at this from a therapeutic perspective that is all wrapped up in the Freudian paradigm-- which can at times have a lot of value, but IMO misses the mark in lots of ways.quote]

She did say that my emotions related to this mother issue are "immature" and "need to grow up."

She does have a therapist of her own. I do agree that she probably has intimacy issues herself. She is 40 and never been married so that is a red flag lol. She is heterosexual. I know she dates guys because she has mentioned it when it has related to our conversation. I'm not uncomfortable seeing her, but this one session was very uncomfortable and/or awkward. She's been awesome about all my other issues.

I can tell her anything lol. I just hate to bring it up again since it's been probably 6 months or so since this happened last. I try to avoid the subject now that I know the reaction I'll get since it happened on more than one occasion.

This turns out to be rarer than I assumed.