T wants to go deeper

Firstly, I want to apologise for not being around to support anyone lately but have been trying to sort myself out before being there for anyone else.
The meds seem to be kicking in and I am feeling so much better than I was two weeks ago.

T asked me the other day what would I like to work on and I told her I ddin't know because if I did I wouldn't have to go to therapy because I would know how to help myself.
She said she wanted to go deeper into things and find out why I am so hurt over my breakup.
She is encouraging me to start dating again as I have to stop giving my ex so much energy and focus my energy on someone or something else.
She wants to go deeper into my emotions towards her and why I love her so much when she treated me so bad and lied about everything.

I am afraid to go deeper as it might bring up all those emotions again of love for her and might make my depression worse.
I am not sure if this is what I need but I suppose I have to trust t.

T used the following analogy; She asked me what food I like best? I said chocolate. Well she said imagine ther doctor told you chocolate would kill you, would you still eat it? i said, no.
She said exactly, thinking about your ex is killing you and making you sic, so why do it?
She said when I start dating or eating other foods it won't be the same but it will help you get over the other.

This analogy really helped me see how I am hurting myself.

That's an awesome analogy. I think I needed to hear that right now too. Thanks for sharing, Buttons!!!

My pleasure, it REALLY helped me too. I will tell T that this week.

So happy to hear you are doing better and still with your T!

I can understand your concern about going deeper and how it dredges up some painful emotions. My T told me that it's important to have certain things in place before going that route - including supportive people IRL to turn to when needed, an outlet to manage excess surges of emotional energy (for example, exercise), and if possible, some stability in life.

This past Aug is when T and I decided I needed to go "deeper"... I am not gonna lie, it hurts at times. However, in the end, getting to those deeper things maybe the key to getting better. Like MUE said, have people ready to be there for you when it gets hard, be sure to ask Ts rules for calling, texting, e-mailing, extra sessions in case you are feeling like you need extra help. You can do this!

thanks guys. I am not sure I am ready. I don't really have that much support in real life so I will be depending on t. Like healed said I will have to check with her about calling but before she was encouraging me to ring all the time.

(((button))) that's really encouraging that the meds are helping and that you know you don't want to be doing the things that keep hurting you. I hope she continues giving you the support you need

(((Button)))
Thanks for sharing the analogy, that makes so much sense! Keep us posted

thank you Tigergirl..i trust t but i don't trust my feelings about all of this.

Its a great analogy...T is very wise. I love the way she knows exactly what to say. I will keep you posted anti matter

i'm learning that often my feelings can't be trusted ... but that i also need to consider them and what is going on then try and find a balance between the feelings and logic and mixed up thoughts and ... seems like a lot of ands doesn't it! (((button)))