[learning1]

The lifers thread partly encouraged me to post this. I always notice that a few people on PC say that they do therapy more as a choice for self exploration and growth than as a need to be able to function. Or something like that.

That's mostly how I see therapy for myself. I deal with depression but it is not preventing me from what therapists might consider basic functioning. I have a job that I've been able to keep for years, I don't have trouble getting there when I'm supposed to, I don't have any addictions, etc. My depression doesn't cause problems for others, at least not directly, as I don't go around telling people I'm depressed or anything, and I don't have close family. I thought it was okay to do therapy just to improve these things, even though I don't have any crises.

However, I think my last therapist didn't think my issues were worth doing therapy for. He consistently encouraged me to schedule less often (two weeks, then once a month), and then after a year, he became even more dismissive and suggested I take a break or not come back. He said this in an indifferent tone, not a mean tone, although I'm sure he knew it was hurtful. He pointed out that most his clients decide to come back after a break if they're having a crisis.

I wondered if anyone else has on here reading this has ever had this happen? I know some other people have been terminated, but I don't know if anyone has been terminated without the suggestion that they see another therapist. Has anyone else felt their therapist didn't think they should do therapy?

[CantExplain]

Bad attitude, that T!

[roads]

I haven't. My last T got tired of my wanting to discuss a recurring dream that I felt had significance & said that if that's all I needed to work on at our sessions our work was done, but that's because he knew nothing about dream work so couldn't help me with it. Totally different.

Or maybe not. Could be your T's run out of material. I wouldn't be satisfied with the attitude.

[bamapsych]

My T and I are phasing out right now. This was mainly her decision. I try to avoid any disagreements. I do feel better, but I too would like to be able to go to therapy once per week even if it's just for support. I don't have much support in real life so it would be nice for T to be there for me. It's tough to see people here on PC that have been in therapy for years. I almost get jealous. Ethically your T is required to give you referrals if you tell him you still need therapy but he feels the need to terminate anyways.

[feralkittymom]

This never really came up for me, though I suspect it would have had my T not needed to retire. I went to him in crisis, and realized more stuff after that. But we were reaching a point when there wasn't much to revisit, and while there might have been an issue or two left unexamined, they weren't things I wanted to deal with at that time. And I had not too long before taken an 8 month break. But this was after almost 11 years.

I think we both came to realize in the last year or so of therapy that what I really wanted going forward in my life was a Father more than a therapist, and he was comfortable with that.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by learning1

I always notice that a few people on PC say that they do therapy more as a choice for self exploration and growth than as a need to be able to function. Or something like that.

If that is what you are looking for, I think the theoretical orientation of the T can make a big difference as to whether they might offer that. Ts who come from the humanist tradition and human potential movement might be a good starting point in locating a T who would provide this. I think some orientations of Ts are set up to provide short term therapy with a definite goal and they don't like to stray too far from that, so when the goal is reached, they are done. If you read descriptions of Ts before you choose, the humanist ones would use words like growth, journey, discovery, potential, healing, exploration, transformation, etc. Other styles of therapists can also provide longer term therapy, but choosing the humanist type might increase your odds of finding this.

When I first went to see my T, he said he doesn't do long term therapy, which he defined as longer than 3 years. However, we are now at the 6 year mark and he has never mentioned that 3 year thing since our first meeting. So I lucked out and found someone willing to keep going as long as I am benefiting. (I don't go every week, though.)

[Dreamy01]

Originally Posted by learning1

The lifers thread partly encouraged me to post this. I always notice that a few people on PC say that they do therapy more as a choice for self exploration and growth than as a need to be able to function. Or something like that.

That's mostly how I see therapy for myself. I deal with depression but it is not preventing me from what therapists might consider basic functioning. I have a job that I've been able to keep for years, I don't have trouble getting there when I'm supposed to, I don't have any addictions, etc. My depression doesn't cause problems for others, at least not directly, as I don't go around telling people I'm depressed or anything, and I don't have close family. I thought it was okay to do therapy just to improve these things, even though I don't have any crises.

However, I think my last therapist didn't think my issues were worth doing therapy for. He consistently encouraged me to schedule less often (two weeks, then once a month), and then after a year, he became even more dismissive and suggested I take a break or not come back. He said this in an indifferent tone, not a mean tone, although I'm sure he knew it was hurtful. He pointed out that most his clients decide to come back after a break if they're having a crisis.

I wondered if anyone else has on here reading this has ever had this happen? I know some other people have been terminated, but I don't know if anyone has been terminated without the suggestion that they see another therapist. Has anyone else felt their therapist didn't think they should do therapy?

As others have said, I think it depends on the therapist's attitude but it's really about what you want/need out of therapy. For me personally the need for therapy changes depending on where I am. I do have past and current issues but I have been able to manage without therapy before and suspect I could again if it came down to it, but I also use it as personal development and my T is fine with this. I once voiced concerns about going to see her if I was 'okay' and she said she has seen many functioning individuals who simply want to explore what else is important to their lives or how to grow.

I don't like the sound of a T saying you shouldn't need therapy any longer. It's one thing if you both agree the work is finished but another for him to make judgements without knowing how you feel and see your work together. It might be that he has his ideas about what therapy does and what issues require it but it doesn't mean you feel the same.

I don't think a therapist can say whether we NEED therapy or not. All they can say with certainty is if THEY can provide it at a benefit to us. I went to my first T in crisis and when I'm not in crisis , I feel like my problems are not worthy and find my self questioning my participation in therapy. However, I am having less moments of crisis the longer I am in therapy, so even though each session is not earth shattering, it is making a positive difference in my life. Your needs are your needs, they can't tell you what they are.

[learning1]

thanks everyone. It's helpful to know people on here think it's acceptable, even though my t seemed to change his mind on my after a year.

I dont know if this counts, but....

In january 2008 My old t dumped me ut of nowhere and it devastated me. I was a wreck. Then a couple months later two friends died of cancer. Then my favorite student who had been in my class for three years died unexpectedly. Then my dad got badly hurt.

I tried to get into a grief support group. I had no other support, my heart was broken, and i was non functional.
But i got turned down by the group. The leaders said my grief wasnt "big enough".
They felt it wouldnt be fair to the people in the group who had lost a family member

I guess. But i was completely devastated.My heart was broken over so many losses.

[learning1]

I'm sorry Starry Night, that's awful that all that happened