[hezaa82]

I had a session with my T today, and leaving the building I felt angry and like I wanted to cry. That's pretty common for me actually. I've been seeing this T for almost 4 years. The feeling goes away when I get on the train home and distract myself with looking at my phone or whatever. (having to take a crowded Tokyo train home is the last thing I need after T!)

Today in T we mainly talked about my family and about me wanting to resolve the repressed anger I have against my family. My family is dysfunctional and no one ever talks about feelings. I live in Japan and family lives in the US so I only see them once a year. My T suggested I interact with them based on the here and now, not based on the past. That makes sense to me and I said that. But I said I felt I needed to express some grievances too, like tell my dad that it hurt that he said he would start calling me on Skype but never did. I guess I wanted T to validate my feelings. T said as long as I was doing it for myself and not having expectations for how my family members will respond then it's ok.

Is it normal to feel angry and like crying after a session?

On the bright side I did notice that I'm able to have less unrealistic expectations for my T and think about T more objectively now that I have other outlets for talking about my problems, such as forums like this one, and other sources of advice like self help books.

[Iamhealingme]

Of course it is! You are releasing your soul and tears are a good sign...you are normal.

I think I would struggle with a therapist who was so dismissive of my past pain as well. Do you have other options for a therapist?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by hezaa82

I've been seeing this T for almost 4 years.

we mainly talked about my family and about me wanting to resolve the repressed anger I have against my family. My family is dysfunctional and no one ever talks about feelings.

My T suggested I interact with them based on the here and now, not based on the past.

I said I felt I needed to express some grievances too, like tell my dad that it hurt that he said he would start calling me on Skype but never did.

I guess I wanted T to validate my feelings.

T said as long as I was doing it for myself and not having expectations for how my family members will respond then it's ok.

Do you feel that you have made progress in the 4 yrs you have been seeing this T? Are you learning to express your feelings now? Have you made progress on your anger?

Maybe you feel like crying because you are frustrated with the progress that is being made?

[Miswimmy1]

i leave and cry a lot. i think its normal. so much is brought up in t, and it hasn't really had sufficient time to be processed. i feel like by the time it sinks in, that isn't until I am alone. which makes me insane.

[KazzaX]

I have been told by many, many people (especially on this site) that if you come out of therapy happy, then you just wasted a session. When you come out feeling like crap it means therapy has taken place and thus it was a good session.

[hezaa82]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Do you feel that you have made progress in the 4 yrs you have been seeing this T? Are you learning to express your feelings now? Have you made progress on your anger?

She tells me I've made progress. In the beginning I made a lot of progress right away, but in recent years I became complacent and just saw it as maintenance. But then about 5 weeks ago my life started falling apart so I realized that I need to get more serious about making progress.

Anger is a new thing for me. I've never really been able to express anger. So maybe that's progress too.

Also maybe it has to do with the fact that the T relationship is kind of reminiscent of a mother/daughter relationship in some ways (age difference, mentoring etc) and maybe it's hard for me to feel warm towards someone that reminds me of my mother.

Anyway it's good to know I'm not the only one.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by KazzaX

I have been told by many, many people (especially on this site) that if you come out of therapy happy, then you just wasted a session. When you come out feeling like crap it means therapy has taken place and thus it was a good session.

I read this and feel really uncomfortable, not because I don't believe you, but because I don't think it's my experience so I'm concerned someone would continue with something that was bad for them because they thought bad meant good. I don't think it's true for me. It might be true for me sometimes. Other times it wasn't true for me. I realize it might be true for others. Or perhaps I have misunderstood you..

[Syra]

Originally Posted by hezaa82

I had a session with my T today, and leaving the building I felt angry and like I wanted to cry. That's pretty common for me actually. I've been seeing this T for almost 4 years. The feeling goes away when I get on the train home and distract myself with looking at my phone or whatever. (having to take a crowded Tokyo train home is the last thing I need after T!)

Today in T we mainly talked about my family and about me wanting to resolve the repressed anger I have against my family. My family is dysfunctional and no one ever talks about feelings. I live in Japan and family lives in the US so I only see them once a year. My T suggested I interact with them based on the here and now, not based on the past. That makes sense to me and I said that. But I said I felt I needed to express some grievances too, like tell my dad that it hurt that he said he would start calling me on Skype but never did. I guess I wanted T to validate my feelings. T said as long as I was doing it for myself and not having expectations for how my family members will respond then it's ok.

Is it normal to feel angry and like crying after a session?

On the bright side I did notice that I'm able to have less unrealistic expectations for my T and think about T more objectively now that I have other outlets for talking about my problems, such as forums like this one, and other sources of advice like self help books.

Sometimes I left t crying and it was good. Sometimes it was because bad things were going on.

I once saw a T who I'm still very fond of. He helped me a lot. He was very skilled with CBT, and I found that very helpful at the time. 20 years later I had another issue and went back to him. CBT wasn't what I needed this time, and he wasn't helpful. I left and went to someone more into what I call "archeology" (probably similar to insight therapy). I'm glad I made the switch. If I had a problem that CBT was helpful for, I'd go back to the first guy.
Sometimes it isn't just finding a good T, it's finding a good T for the presenting issue.

[0w6c379]

[quote=hezaa82;2754846]
Is it normal to feel angry and like crying after a session?

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I have often wondered if crying afterward was a sign of somthing good or bad. The first year of therapy I did not cry so much. Now that we are into the heavy stuff, I leave in tears most of the time. Then, I go to my car and cry for another 20 minutes or so. Sometimes I feel it the next day.

When the issues are deep, I think it is just natural and O.K. to cry. Some people don't express their emotions in that way, which is fine too. I can relate to what Kazzax said. I think crying may be helpful in the long run.