Couch 28

it isn't silly at all healed . you are in the middle of making some major decisions. i would want to know my T is there also. so why can't you contact him .

My cool present for H hasn't arrived yet and I am getting nervous. It was the least expensive gift, but it's the one he'll like the most. It's a t shirt from Abbey Road Recording Studio in London. I ordered it early enough, and they promised it by Christmas, but....

Need to make more cookies, then go for radiation. I will glow in the dark soon.

Later folks...

i have decided that the whole state of florida should be a 50 or above community LOL everyone retires there

cool if you start to glow just imagine the money you can save on christmas lights.

on a more serious side take care of your skin ok .
((((hugs))))

I took the melatonin and couldn't sleep until about three, then up again at 6. Schools are closed here because of the snow, and we are having big winds up to 40 mph. I still have to go to work at some point though.

Hubby wanted to cuddle this morning. Really, H??? Really? You tell the MC that you were afraid to leave me alone with our children and insinuate I am an abuser or potentially an abuser at the last session. Tell me in between sessions that is NOT what you meant and you just meant you were afraid to leave me alone with the kids because you were afraid that they would overwhelm me because of the depression and swear you will tell MC that, and then at MC last night only sort of said that but were still all defensive and trying to blame me for changing the subject and not giving you a chance to fix it when that is NOT what happened. AND you ridicule me for caring what MC thinks and disparagingly say we are not there to make friends with him and I shouldn't care if you say something inaccurate or leave a mistaken impression because YOU wouldn't care if he disliked you. AND NOW you want to cuddle?

Okay, tirade at my H over. sorry guys. Needed to vent before the kids get up. I'm going to go start shredding potatoes for breakfast. Hope everyone has a great morning.

((( MKAC )))

UGH.....I can imagine how frustrated you feel.

Good luck with rad, Wiki!

Healed, go ahead and call your t. There's no need to feel bad for a whole day, if a few minutes on the phone will help. (Said the woman who spent her entire last session listening to her T trying to convince her to call him during the holiday break!)

cuddle????? he would be lucky if he wasn't sleeping on the couch if it were in my house.MKAC i kna bet at the same time you are also soaking in all that was said and want to remind you that you are an awsome mom. if you need proof just look at those amazing kids.they didn't make themselves. you do so much for them. maybe some couch time for him.

Making chocolate pretzels this morning.....I need to go back to the store AGAIN because I don't have enough supplies to make everything. My daughter mentioned last night that she volunteered to bring chocolate pretzels to school for her homeroom winter holiday party...and she wants to give chocolate pretzels to each of her teachers as gifts. I've already been to the same store 2x in the last 2 days - and now it will be three days in a row.

I always used to make sure I had plenty of everything on-hand, but since I will have no money coming in soon, I don't want to overdo it. Well, THAT plan backfired. LOL

My mom lent me "The Bodyguard" because she found out that I liked Kevin Costner and said it was a really good movie (and I've never seen it). So, I'm gonna watch that this morning and chillax on my couch with a nice blanket and neck pillow.

I see T today....I'm sure we'll be talking about migraine strategies. I followed through with calling my primary dr this morning to ask that checking for heavy metals be added to my bloodwork. My dr isn't in until tomorrow, but the receptionist said she didn't think it would be a problem but will let me know tomorrow. I'm sure my T will be pleased that I followed through on that, at least. Actually going and getting the bloodwork done? That's another story. I'm afraid to find out if something is wrong with me....especially knowing that I can't really afford to handle anything significant.

Luckily, I went to my daughter's grief counseling session with her. She asked me to come in with her because the sessions have morphed to kind of life coaching. In the session, she talked mainly about her father and how frustrated she is with him and how she doesn't feel "safe" with him, particularly if her brother is around and in a bad mood. She said she has "absolute faith" that I have her back and will always protect her, but she doesn't feel that her father EVER protects her or stands up for her. I also talked quite a bit with my son, without just asking him if he made the statements my husband claims he did. He says that he IS somewhat scared of me when I'm angry, but thinks that is largely because I do not back down in the face of his anger the way his father does and I am the only person who doesn't back down when he's really angry and gets going. He said part of his fear is that HE is going to lose control and hit me. Not so much that I will hit him.

get the blood work done please .hiding from health isues does not make them go away.trust me i know.you can do this.

my glucose is now consistantally under 200 yay me

MKAC you cant be to scarey to either of them if they are willing to talk to you on such personal level. oh and a heathy respectful fear isn't always a bad thing

Well MKAC.... it seems as though you are the one wearing the pants, so if he wants to cuddle tell him to do it with MT!

i will not eat junkfood all day,i will not eat junkfood all day etc.... did i say i hate salad lol. i'm hungry

Good morning. In a provider meeting. Bleh. At least T emailed back confirming my appt. This was good. I didn't stress over getting an answer and simply planned to call if she didn't answer.

So apparently I won't need to clarify emailing for appts. I don't think I want to email for anything else, unless it is something positive. I really do feel stronger. I also feel I have a purpose in life again at work. I really enjoy working with my clients.

Everyone have a great day!

any idea what i can have for lunch that is healthy

Chopin - I'm glad that you are enjoying your new position.

Granite....fish and NO JUNK FOOD
Chopin - I am glad you are finding some good in this situation with work ((((hug)))

Morning all.... afternoon Apt!

Healed-I'm here if you need me ((((HEALED))))))

Newsletter is done....so back to being bored at work..... LOL

Salmon or another lean protein and some steamed veggies. You can add pepper, garlic, or other seasonings (try to stay away from salt) that will add lots of flavor if you don't like plain veggies.

i love veggies and i accually have some steam veggies in my freezer great idea . i have noticed i am less hungry if i eat a lot of protien that is cool but i so miss my pasta and bread

Feel free to ignore me. I am going to whine about my day. Otherwise I might start punching people.

Today it snowed. I have a phobia of driving in the snow. I took an Ativan.

The car in front of me slammed on their brakes at a yellow light & I ended up over the curb on the median. Got down just fine, but ugh.

I got to work 10 mins late. I was supposed to start a meeting right at 8 AM. I had a handful of people waiting for me to log into the web site for the conference room.

I had to take my first full Zoloft today.

The highest ranking person in the company called me with an urgent project for the federal gov't. A drop everything else project. Which would probably be ok if my other project wasn't LEARNING PAYROLL to pay the whole damn building.

Whine whine whine. I want a nap. And a new job. And a condo in Hawaii.

PB - I am sorry you are having a crap start of a day. The ativan should help to calm you soon and I hope the zoloft will start working its magic too. At least you aren't injured, I remember driving in the snow and It made me nervous too. Glad you made it to work in one piece, you will do great with the payroll thing. (((PB)))

Glad you got to work okay, pbutton. There was a tow truck in front of me on my way to work and it started fishtailing and almost wiped out. AND then there were kids running across the road (school is out and it is a small town), and one of them slipped and fell in the middle of the road because the roads are truly just a thick sheet of ice. Luckily I had already slowed to a crawl and was able to stop because she had trouble getting up and getting off the road. So, not killing a child = a great day for me.

Granite - white beans braised with chard or kale.

PB - glad you made it in safely.

LC = feast or famine.

MKAC - always good not to kill a child. (I do encourage drugging them before letting them on airplanes I am riding in).

Yikes!!! Please stay safe, guys! Ice can be so lethal
I'm currently wishing for a white Christmas here, but I need it all gone by Thursday evening! Not very likely, hey?