I'm ready to share the "end"

I want to thank everyone for the support, thoughts and wishes for me during one of the biggest events of my life...ending long term therapy which included massive trauma work.

I saw my therapist for the last time last evening. Whew, that was hard! I've tried to put into words what his presence in my life has meant to me. I really can't. I couldn't compare him to a parent for sure, or any family member for that matter. I guess he would represent what a good therapist should be...a mentor, guide, inspiration and friend.

I'd known for quite some time that we would be ending. I'd wanted to end about a year ago, but am so glad I didn't! So much healing took place in this last time. Anyhow, I had good time to prepare for ending therapy, well as much as one can prepare for that.

When I found out the final date a few months ago, I went through a very difficult time. It felt too huge for me. I felt that I could "lose" therapy or therapist, but not both at the same time. I called other therapists and spoke with several (some very good). Something about doing that instilled in me that I DO HAVE CHOICES. I always try to see that I have choices in my world. I might not be able to choose what happens to me, but I can choose how I respond to it. Knowing that allowed me to continue on with my plan...graduation from therapy altogether.

To make a long story short, it was a very meaningful time of sharing, giving and ending. In feeling such a peace with this, I'm more confident than ever before that my therapy was truly successful in the ways that it needed to be for me.

I'm a survivor of long term childhood trauma and abuse. I will always have issues that I'm going to deal with and yes, most of those I didn't ask for. Therapy helped me so much to name those issues through awareness and understanding, then to learn coping skills that I never learned. Therapy didn't obliterate what happened to me so I will always have that to "deal" with. I know if I would've waited for everything to be perfect, I would've been waiting and in therapy for forever. My therapist and I feel that I've learned what I need to know to continue on with my life in a functional, giving way...a way that doesn't come close to resembling where I was when I walked through that door. A shattered shell of a person entered the world of therapy. Now a survivor walks out.

I've been many places in my life, alot of them I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but I'm so glad that committed therapy was one of them. I've made a few good choices in my life; beginning, continuing AND ending therapy being of them.

I don't think that I could've done HALF as well in my healing and in ending therapy if it weren't for PC and the wonderful people who care about me and don't hesitate to show it.

THANK YOU.

KD

PS - I think this represents good therapy, but also represents how much PC can help and influence a person in growth in the journey. I've never been alone, not once, since I found PC and y'all.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{KD}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} You sound HEALTHY, girl!

I'm glad your last session went well. It's a nice feeling to know that you've done all you can and are ready to face the world by yourself.



Candy

Hi KimmyDawn,

I'm so glad you were able to have a good final session with your T, and that it feels like it was a good end to therapy. I'm glad you can look back and see the growth and positive aspects! When I had my last meeting with my counselor, we were able to look back and see the positive aspects that occured while we were working together, and that was encouraging. Even though my counseling relationship ended a little differently than yours did (I would have kept working with my counselor if he were still in the area - I'm not ready to "graduate" yet!).....like you, I feel extremely positive about the counselor I saw, and the working relationship we had. And we were able to end things well, too. So here are at least two of us who have had very positive counseling experiences, both in counseling, and even at the end! I think that is very encouraging.

Anyway, I just wanted to send more hugs your way, and thanks for sharing your story with us. ((((((KimmyDawn)))))) Take gentle care of yourself during this time of change.

Hugs,
ErinBear

I am so glad your last session went well. You seem to be handling everything very well. It is encouraging to hear of someone who not only coped ending with their therapist but was ready to go on without seeing someone else. You are very encouraging and I hope that I will be able to do the same when I am ready. Thanks for sharing.

Keep up the good work!

I am very inspired by this ... and so happy for you too!

((((((((((( kimmydawn )))))))))))))))

Much love

(((((((((((((Kimmydawn))))))))))))))))

for sharing, xoxoxo pat

(((((((((((((((( kimmydawn ))))))))))))))))))

I'm so glad to read your words, Kimmy. You're an inspiration.

I'm glad you had a T who was so good for you!

Thank you so much everyone!!!

I'm doing so well with this that I almost wonder if it's real...lol. It is, though.

It's kind of appropriate that most everything I learned about others and myself applied to continuing therapy, and ending it. I learned to trust people who are trustworthy, that letting go is ok, that life goes on whether I want it to or not, that somehow I'm always ok...

So, the skills I learned in therapy, proved as being a part of me and my existence as they were applied to this "ending" and a good and appropriate relationship ended as it continued. WOW.

Thanks so much again,

KD

my heartfelt congratulations kim......please know that as you continue the neverending journey...........you are never alone......

((((((KD))))))....thank you for sharing so much of your healing journey...what a wonderful post..gentle hugs..

EV

Thank you for the update I'm a little concerned with this statement yet: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I'm a survivor of long term childhood trauma and abuse. I will always have issues that I'm going to deal with and yes, most of those I didn't ask for

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Not sure anyone "asks" for trauma or abuse. Even if we make poor decisions at times, I have never found any sign up form for these

Whew! Well glad you're not quitting PC

(((((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))))

Let me rephrase. I will always have issues stemming from this childhood (i.e. triggers, etc.). In saying that I didn't ask for these issues that I will probably always deal with, I mean to say that "that was my life and what I'm dealing with...I might not like it, but it IS". I think you know me well enough that I would never say anyone asks for abuse of any kind, or looks for a "sign up sheet".

Thanks for pointing that out to me. I certainly wouldn't want that statement misconstrued.

KD

Yep and I didn't want you thinking that way either hehehe

Kimmydawn,
It sounds like you've come a long way through a lot of hard work and realizations. I wish you well always.

Love and Best Wishes,
Zen

I have, zen.

Thank you so much.

KD

((KimmyDawn)))

Thought you would appreciate this..I discovered this website by accident when I went surfing over the net looking for the "meaning of self"..LOL..but thought you might like it..the URL is attached..the owner of the site: Dr. John Suler...pretty "Cool Zen Dude"..hope his stories help with your tears..and again sending you gentle hugs..and more kleenex with Aloe..gentle hugs..you are in my thoughts and prayers...

Zen Stories

(It Will Pass)
A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"
"It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!'

"It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.

http://www.rider.edu/suler/zenstory/zenstory.html

EV...
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Mark Twain

OH GOODNESS (((((((((((((((Evangelista)))))))))))))))))

I needed that! You are getting to know me well.

Thanks for that.

KD

((((((((((( Kimmy )))))))))))))

I am here for you. Know that.

Hugs,

Jan

you are so lucky i have been in tharapy for three years and have had so bad times and seen tharipists that have don nothing to help me only to hurt me i wish i could be in your position good luck with the new you