Taking a break from T....again

I also teared up reading your post. It's sad but I think you know what you're doing. You and T probably had, in spite of your problems, one of the best T-relationships I've ever read about. I know you know that the love you shared will be forever; it's not disappearing just because you're not seeing T anymore. He's in your heart, and you're in his.

I struggled to read your update because I'm about to do the same thing. Thinking of you.

((((((nightlight))))))) I'm so sorry it's not getting better with T.

For me, it has really helped in the past when I've had a break to take a step back and sort things out in my head. I've been able to go back and work hard with T to help him understand what's going on and we've moved through some really hard stuff that way. This summer, I thought I was done for sure...and then I realized I wasn't, and it was okay...I went back and it took a couple of months but we finally found our way solidly back to each other. The break helped and the going back helped.

I wonder if a break and some distance will help? It doesn't have to be forever, and it can help to just have some time and space to breathe and regroup and discover that despite whatever crazy stuff is going on in therapy, you are still okay.

I think T and I had reached the end of being able to work through this situation, but there has been more than once in the past when I've taken time off and gone back and my therapy has been better as a result.

It does take commitment from both parties, though.

I am thinking of you I know it's hard.

Thanks for thinking of me too. I've tried so, so hard to fix everything. T just isn't hearing me, isn't helping, keeps saying things and doing things that are too harsh. It's just not fair that she's suddenly nothing like she used to be. I know I'm not helping because of that lack of trust. As soon as she started to sound like she did last year, I panicked because I thought she was going there again, and of course, my lack of trust actually set things off again (while she's busy being a bit too harsh and impatient). I wish I could return later, but it doesn't feel possible...because there seems to be so little of her left. I think she's done with me. I'll try to go to the last session with an open mind and see what's possible. I don't think she'll be very gentle with me though. Ugh. I'll miss her forever too.

You hang in there. What you've been doing is amazing and I know there will be times when the difficulty of it rises up again for you. I'm still really sad that this has happened for you, but I'm glad for all the good things and the happy moments you had with T too.

I am so sorry to read this Nightsky -- it is very, very sad indeed, and I'm sure the space your T used to occupy in your life is very palpable right now. But it sounds like you're doing what you need to do, and I hope you continue to be ok