[BlessedRhiannon]

I have an appointment with T today, and for the first time in a really long time, I simply don't want to go. For the first time ever, I'm actually seriously considering canceling. The problem is, I NEED to go. I need to talk to T, because I'm really struggling right now. I think if I didn't show up, it would seriously concern T, since I called her last week asking for support. I've never just not shown up for an appointment.

I had a really unsettling dream early this morning, and while I know it was a dream, I woke up in a panic, and it's stuck with me. It's happened before, and when it does, it usually means I've got things I really need to talk about. I don't want to talk about this with T, though. I don't want her to see just how pathetic and worthless I'm feeling right now. I want to lash out, like I did in my dream, and scream and yell at the people that have hurt me, and the anger, hurt, and panic from my dream are not being easily dismissed. I'm afraid this session is going to be particularly emotional, since I'm feeling things so strongly right now. I hate being emotional, even with T. I hate being vulnerable, and I feel very vulnerable right now. I know T will respect that, but it's still frightening for me.

Can I get a little support in actually making it to T today? Maybe some pocket riders? Appt is at 1 pm Central.

I'm in, Rhi.

[mixedup_emotions]

You can do it!!! Let it all out, and I'm sure your T will be thrilled at your willingness to express what's going on inside. Hopping in your pocket!

[pbutton]

You've got this. I am sorry you're struggling right now.

I'll go, we are all here for you!

[rainbow8]

Make room for me too! You've got to go to T. You can do it!! We're all here for you!

[Bill3]

Count me in as well! Good luck!

[harvest moon]

You can do it, Rhiannon!

[sittingatwatersedge]

coming wit ya!!

[BlessedRhiannon]

Thanks all. I'm waiting for T now.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm in... good luck

I am sorry I missed it, but you should be about done now. How did it go?

[BlessedRhiannon]

It was an emotional session. I'm not sure yet how it went. I got back and had to do some stuff for work right away, so I haven't had a chance to think about it.

I've been seeing T every two weeks, but I feel like I need more support right now. I asked for an appointment next week, but she's booked up. She did offer me a 30 minute phone slot, and I told her I'd get back with her on that. I know I can email or call if I need to, but right now, I kinda need 'in person'. I might email her and ask her to let me know if she has any cancellations next week and if not, I'll talk to her by phone at the end of the week.

[Victoria'smom]

I'd call as soon as possible for stand-by so your top if there's a waiting list.

Sorry you had such an emotional session Blessed, these are draining
Can you ask t to call you if she gets any cancellations?

[BlessedRhiannon]

Yeah - I already emailed her and told her I'd take a short phone session next week, but would prefer 'in person,' and asked her to contact me if she has a cancellation.

[Wren_]

i hope you get a cancellation and can see your T, meanwhile the phone session booking is good