[possum220]

I have been trying to get better for the last 25 years to get better. Some things I have done have caused even more trauma.

Now each time I see a GP, T, P'doc I have to deal with the crud it draws up. Then it gets to settle the off it starts again. I just want to stop. I dont want to see anybody any more. Yesterday I ended up doing some stupid things just to get rid of the physical and mental pain. I don't want to do this any more.

[shlump]

What stupid things did you do...if that's okay.

Have you been able to stay with one team for any length of time? Then you only have to go through it once for their benefit and whatever comes up for you later....sorry, late, but mu=ight make sense

[Nightlight]

Have things improved in your life outside of therapy in the last few years as a result of the therapy? Is life better for you without therapy and without the hope of things improving because of the therapy? If life truly was more manageable and better for me without therapy, then I'd be looking to change something about the therapy and the way I was doing it, or the type of therapy I was doing, even if I wasn't going to stop altogether. It is a really painful process. I know I find it to be. I believe that the desire to have life improve is enough to keep things moving forwards. If you want it, it is possible. It's not straightforward, or easy, and there's defiantly no one correct path to take. You probably are aware of all of that. Don't give up hope of things being better, or easier, or at least more manageable. I'm sorry it got the the point of you having to resort to something you didn't want to do, in order to cope.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm a firm believer that one should stay in therapy until they are happy and healthy. That doesn't mean that you don't change your approach to therapy when you need to. Schedules, exercise, nutrition and hobbies can help you heal too. I'm in therapy for life, I can never trust myself not to relapse or be completely med compliant. I can't trust the people closest to me to deal with or realize when I'm struggling. So therapy is life long for me.

I feel for you Possum. I was wondering something similar recently. At what point is ones life as good as its gonna get?

[possum220]

Okay here goes, I have depression that comes and goes, Anxiety, DID and the hardest things to bear is neck spasms. Neck spasms hurt and my brain feels so wired after them. This has been going on for at least a decade. In an effort to fix things I even tried exorcisms. Different voices still come out of my mouth when I am triggered.

Talking to psychs etc only seems to trigger the spasms and voices and I am so sick of them. I just want it all to stop. So after the session this week I s'hd and took two days worth of Klonolpin just so I could release some of the frustration and sleep. (I have been on Klonolpin for years so my body is very used to it).

I have been with the same group of professionals for years. I have given up hope of ever becoming happy or healthy. I am involved with craft groups to have social contact. My body seems to be at war with me as it rejects healthy food. I have been med compliant. (Not this week).

I know that being anywhere can set my head off. I have been seeing my current psych for 6 years. He has banned me from being in a mental hospital because they seem to kick off suicide attempts.

So all I want now is to stop seeing people that aggravate my neck/mind/voices. I know they wont go away but I will have much less of them.

I just want peace.

[Victoria'smom]

Have you seen a neurologist?

[possum220]

No. I have not seen a neurologist. I have no idea what they do. I could always ask my psychiatrist if/when I go back.

[Victoria'smom]

neurologist treat the brain, spinal cord, and peripheral nerve disorders.