[BlessedRhiannon]

I was supposed to have a brief phone session with T this morning. She offered it when she didn't have any openings this week. I've been struggling a bit lately, and just thought more contact might be helpful right now.

So, I called T right as scheduled, and she answered, and said that she's really sorry, but she's right in the middle of dealing with a huge emergency involving police. She said she was just about to text me that we'll have to reschedule. I said that's fine, and for her to just call me later when she's free. She promised to call me later today.

NOW, I've got two things going on. First, the insatiable curiosity...what the heck is she having to deal with??!! I'm assuming a client, because if it were family, she wouldn't offer to call me back later, she'd be with her family. I know it's none of my business, but the curiosity is burning. Second, I feel like I'm not really worth her time. I'm not having an emergency. I just needed a little more support. But I don't want to bother her later today, knowing that she's had to deal with some major emergency already today. Plus, I feel bad for calling her this morning, even though it was planned, and she knew I'd be calling, and there was no way I could know that she'd be involved in something. I'm so tempted to text her back and tell her not to bother calling me later, that I'll manage fine until our appointment next week. Of course, I'd really like to do more than just "manage fine" cuz that's what I always do, and T is slowly starting to convince me that I deserve more than that.

I'm all conflicted!!! Do I text T and tell her to just not bother to call me back? I bet she'd ignore it if I did, and call me anyway, especially after the email I sent her earlier this week. Of course, now, I'll be sitting around all day, waiting until T calls me, and that's nice and stressful in itself.

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Of course, I'd really like to do more than just "manage fine" cuz that's what I always do, and T is slowly starting to convince me that I deserve more than that.

I'm all conflicted!!!

A perfect time to practice believing what she is trying to teach you. You do deserve more then that and her having to reschedule is nothing more then a minor glitch. Stuff happens and it just so happened on your time. But, you still deserve some time and she is going to give it to you, after she puts out this emergency fire. What each patient needs from their T may be different, but one is no more deserving then the other.

[Syra]

Very well said LolaCabanna!

[sittingatwatersedge]

you might tune into the local news, in case you can hear from there what's going on and relieve your mind.

Yr T is tough enough to handle an emergency involving police, and also help you. I hope you don't cancel.

AND that when the two of you finally connect, that you get the help you need for your struggles.

[content30]

Please don't feel like you're not worth the time. I'm sure if your T read that, then she would challenge that negative belief. My guess is that the reality if the situation may involve a seriously suicidal client or a client who attempted such, as this involves the police. Unfortunately, if this is the case, then she has absolutely no choice legally or ethically but to handle this matter at the moment.

Please, just wait to hear from her later. YOU are important. YOU are deserving of her time. You should NEVER feel bad for contacting your T for a scheduled phone call. You do deserve more than to just manage.

Personally, if I were you, I would not text her and would wait for her call. In the meantime, find something to distract yourself.

Best-content

[stopdog]

I have found, when dealing with a police sort of thing (in parts of my different jobs I do have to do so) that meeting with or talking with some other student or client or ward later, is really not that big of a deal for me. Sometimes it can even help normalize the day for me.(how is that for using their crazy language?)

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I have found, when dealing with a police sort of thing (in parts of my different jobs I do have to do so) that meeting with or talking with some other student or client or ward later, is really not that big of a deal for me. Sometimes it can even help normalize the day for me.(how is that for using their crazy language?)

Actually - that helped me more than all the "you deserve it" stuff! Helping to normalize a day...I can do that. We'd already planned this call, and I do need to talk to her at least briefly.

T just sent me a text letting me know when she's free and asking when I'm free for a call. I replied back, so hopefully, I'll be talking to her in about an hour.

That is a good way of looking at it Stopdog, she probably deals with the police on a regular basis with her job. Did she sound stressed when you rang? If she is ringing you later well thats a good sign isn't it that everything is ok? Its hard not to worry about our ts but like others have said they are tough and capable of looking after themselves.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by button30

That is a good way of looking at it Stopdog, she probably deals with the police on a regular basis with her job. Did she sound stressed when you rang? If she is ringing you later well thats a good sign isn't it that everything is ok? Its hard not to worry about our ts but like others have said they are tough and capable of looking after themselves.

She sounded hurried, and maybe a bit concerned, and apologetic for not being able to talk to me. My T is the most calm person I've ever met! At least in her professional setting. I'm not sure what she's like outside of that, of course.

I wasn't really worried so much about something happening with T as that she just wouldn't have the energy or desire to deal with my petty stuff. I don't need the phone call as desperately as I did when I scheduled it, or even earlier this week, but I do still want to talk to T.

I think you do need to talk to her and don't let her emergency deter your needs. Just to connect with t might be helpful to you, just to hear her voice might help

[BlessedRhiannon]

T called me. We talked. It was weird! (yes, I'm stuck on that word today). T was very...ummm...pushy? I guess that's the word I want. It felt like she was really challenging me today, and I'm not used to that from her. I challenge myself enough as it is. She pointed out some things which I know are true, but it felt like she was really pushing me and I'm not sure that was entirely helpful for me today. I think T might have been rattled from her emergency this morning, and maybe she felt like she needed to push me more? I dunno. I felt like the first part of the conversation, she wasn't even paying attention, she actually asked me to repeat myself several times. Maybe it was a bad connection...I struggled to make her words out clearly sometimes too.

I did need to talk to her, so that was good at least. She did give me some things to think about. I got my question answered that I needed to ask her. It just didn't entirely feel like my T. I guess we have some stuff to talk about next session.

[Nightlight]

My T's been very pushy at times when she's been dealing with stressful stuff too.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Second, I feel like I'm not really worth her time. I'm not having an emergency. I just needed a little more support. But I don't want to bother her later today, knowing that she's had to deal with some major emergency already today. Plus, I feel bad for calling her this morning, even though it was planned, and she knew I'd be calling, and there was no way I could know that she'd be involved in something.

I know this feeling. No matter how good the excuse, I always feel abandoned and rejected when someone else takes priority over me.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I know this feeling. No matter how good the excuse, I always feel abandoned and rejected when someone else takes priority over me.

I think, for me, it was more that I felt like my family dynamics were just repeating in therapy. My brother was the dramatic one. He always managed to take precedence over my needs. There was always some crisis of his that demanded immediate attention, and left me just taking care of myself again.

I know that in this case, it was a genuine emergency, and T did get back to me as soon as she was able to, so I wasn't left to take care of myself. But, it did bring up those old feelings.