Forcing Yourself to Move Forward

I do much better mood wise when I have a stable, reliable schedule, which really needs to include working.

The problem is that I've switched to reliable hours to work that is call-in based on when I say I'm available.

I'm having severe severe anxiety every night before the next possible work day. I could be called to work at any school on my call list. I just can't make myself do it though. I'm so scared about failing, looking like an idiot, not being able to control the kids, all the growing pains that come with a new job, etc.

I've been working towards this job for 10 years. I don't know how to get over my anxiety and just do it. I'm running out of money fast, but I can't seem to force myself to take the next step.

Suggestions?

Hmmm...

may not be the healthiest advice because it's a bit avoidant, but I try to step outside of myself and watch what I'm doing rather than actually doing it. Kinda writing my lines from across the room and transmitting them via bipower brainwaves to my mouth and body.

The avoidance part is I completely avoid the feelings of anxiety about all of the "what ifs" I don't what if myself to death anymore. F-up all the time, for sure...but it's funny how people react to it. They either ignore my screwups, give me a kind, understanding smile, or sometimes a quick WTF look. The WTF looks are usually short lived. People really don't like to think about things they can't understand...IT"S TRUE! Took me half a lifetime to figure this out.

So-maybe it helps...hopefully

I have the same problem - suffered a nervous break after a bad accident at work and now only work part time. But I get so sick the night before and morning of work that I have had to call off.

I find the more days I can get myself there and get the day started the better the anxiety is. A good night sleep is essential and when my sleep is troubled I find I have even more trouble.

You have been working for this job, which means you have done this job, the only thing that has changed is the schedule, correct? So I would keep a journal or notebook with your successes, notes of thanks, positive statements that sort of thing that you can use to prove the negative nellie in your head wrong -- to say to that voice I'm not an idiot see I do do this job well, etc.

The anxiety is tough but if you find something that works for you to clear your mind - yoga, guided imagery, a hobby, meditation, breathing exercises, exercise, art, reading....we are all different. Depending on my level of anxiety I have different things that sometimes work. If I'm really anxious I don't have a prayer of quieting my thoughts with meditation, but dancing to really loud music might drown out the thoughts and get me moving in a positive direction.

We know you can do it -- hopefully others will have other ideas for you, too. I would be happy to noodle thru some with you if you would like

Yup. Me too.